Friday, December 31, 2010

how 2010 ends...

I slept like a baby last night. The day was tiring with lots of choosing, trying on, paying a.k.a shopping. And when I finally settle down at home, had really good laugh watching 公主嫁到. But this is not the main element in how I ended 2010....if it is I'd kill myself with boredom.

I can finally say that I have spent a full 12 months at Manila, The Philippines in year 2010. Apart from traveling home for those special occasion, it was a memorable and jovial experience here. Like dad said the other day, I've got my second Xmas celebration here, and he asked me how was it like. Were there lots of lighting and singing by the locals here? Were there nice deco at the main malls, like KL? Well, I told him, No dad...it's the same. It's same ol' boring. On the other hand, a friend tagged me a message at FB, asking when I would bring my ass back to celebrate the festive seasons with them. I told him vaguely, that celebrations are only meant for happiness on the surface only. True celebrations is when nothing is happening, and yet you still feel like celebrating. That's happiness. That's contentment.

I've learned in 2010 that I don't want to test my own limits anymore. I've truly understand the art of simple living, when I don't need to ask myself what have I achieved. A year all alone at Makati, with all the struggle to survive...and so many encounters of near depression - I thought I didn't achieve anything. Because I have measured achievement with some tangible objects. I didn't earn lots of wealth. I didn't get myself a big house or a posh car. All I got are experience - about LIFE... and these experience...are not exchangeable with cash. Money can't buy.

Money can't buy love. Time can't buy memories.

There will be more to cherish and nourish in year 2011. Believe. Magical moments do happen to ordinary people.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

so much of 林峯 on Xmas 2010

I told ya...Makati is almost a dead city during Xmas. 9 out of 10 Pinoys travel back to provinces during Xmas, leaving all lonely expatriates in the city.

I have absolutely nothing to do today. Got myself out of bed by 5PM...cooked chicken porridge for dinner. Had sugar coated doughnut & Mango Passion from Starbucks as starter. Then, that's it.

I spent the rest of the hours until this very moment, searching, webbing, downloading about 林峯 (Lam Fung). All his MV, CD version songs, movies, interviews. So much of him on this year's Yuletide season.

Nothing extravagant about him, except thinking that he looks cute, dreamy and charming at certain angle. A committed actor turned singer. His voice proves that he's worth more than just acting. Yeah...I think he can sing. And there's pretty much effort in it. His singing skills is more mesmerizing than his acting, at times. Well, anyhow...this guy is not just the pretty face. God must have spent a little more time on him.




Friday, December 24, 2010

a day before Xmas 2010

Blasting "Last Christmas" with my HTC stereo now, humming along with....Last xmas I give u my heart. The very next day u give it away. This year to save me from tears, I'm giving to someone special~~~....

Well, no one stole my heart away for Xmas exactly. Maybe I am not a Xmas and New Year person. Inversely, I am a very Chinese person...loving Chinese Lunar New Year, Dong Jit, and Qing Ming. yeah, Qing Ming because I appreciate the re-union spirit of family members, gathering to clean ancestor's tombstone as a form of remembrance and respect.

It was Stellent Service Corp 2010v Xmas & 2011 New Year Party yesterday. Gifts were exchanged, and I won the Lucky Draw Vouchers too. It was nice, at least some time off for all the staffs. Darn, didn't get the IPhone 4 or PS3....

And today, went to work as usual..just a little more zombie. Bad menstrual cramps and slight mood swings. Office is undeniably quiet today as most were on leave. No fret, I clocked in...did some outstanding and ended my day at 7.30PM. Nice.

Even got enough time to read some e-book before shutting my pc off. Got a good peek into Ajahn Brahm's book titled Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?. Funny, hilarious but totally educational! And reading it, I made a summary by myself:

Perfection is, at its most original form. Happiness is believing in originality, and two bad "bricks" don't make a beautiful person less beautiful....

The wise enjoys their peace in the perfect imperfection of nature, not thinking, not planning, not feeling guilty. We all deserve to get away and have some peace; and others deserve the peace of us getting out of their way! - Ajanh Brahm -

HaHa! Have a blessed & peaceful Christmas. And be truly blessed with all wellness in the New Year ahead...

so much love & Metta from Yenny

Thursday, December 16, 2010

my child-like SuperParents

Dad Mom made me worried today. Dad told me he is not in good shape via skype, and it scared the hell out of me.

Our family favorite, home-cooked yong tau foo cracked a bad joke with Dad last Tuesday. Mom used fresh fish mixed with grounded pork as the yong tau foo paste. And she didn't ground the pork herself, she got it from the market. And so, the pork were certainly not grounded very well, and a small sharp piece of porky bone were left unseen. Dad must be eating greedily, and chewed too fast. That damn porky bone landed between his tooth and gum. The shock left his gum to loosen grip of the tooth, but that is not the worst yet. Blood were rushing out like volcanic eruption, and Carol was traumatized by it. Well, maybe almost traumatized.

Hmm...Dad was rushed to the dentist. The dentist treated him properly, and some follow ups are required. Impact is, Dad might loose his tooth. His well guarded property for so many years...he begged the dentist to "keep" his tooth intact anyway possible. Just like a kid telling mommy he doesn't want to take medicine unless given a candy.

And my queen Mommy....is down with flu + cough + sore throat for almost 10 days already. And yet, she cautioned Joyce not to tell me, afraid that I might worry about her unnecessarily. Now I know about it, and yes, I am worried. But it is totally necessary. You see, there have been many cases of mutated flu/cold viruses lately. It's a global thingy. Maybe the weather changed and thus mutated the viral activities. Or it's just part of human advancements that pushes viruses and bugs to advance too. But whoever that has those symptoms for more than 5 days, not curable by medicines of norm -- must get further checks by specialists. And so do Mom..!

I knew about it when I called home to ask her about Dad. Cos Dad was just skype-ing me, and I didn't get full details from him. Once she picked the call, she didn't stop coughing. And yet, she reassured me that she is OK. Yeah...rite. She thinks she's a 3 year old telling Mommy it wasn't her stealing candies from the fridge.

At this point of time, I realized two major cross-overs in my life (at current stage):

1. I finally understand why would I make my parents upset and worry about me whenever I am not doing as they told. Insecurities and inability to take control over the safety of a loved one is worrying. They want the best for me, and they worry that I am not getting the best. Just the same feeling I have now. They are not in good shape, and I am not having control over ensuring that they get the best attention. And thus, I am worried. And the more I worry about them, and still not able to do anything about it...I get upset too.

2. Parents, as they age...are just like kids. They spent their whole life thinking they get good hold of every situation within the family like providing the necessities to me, nurturing me...give it all. Little did they know, they do cross path one day, when they should sit down and relax. Cos it's my turn to ensure they are taken good care of. To shield them from vulnerabilities, and assure them that they are as precious & magical like how I was to them.

Dad manja me again just now. He insisted to hear my voice before going to bed, and sms-ed me to call him after work. I was in a middle of moronic meeting, but once I saw that message, I called the meeting off. I told the morons to go home, take a shower, call your loved ones, and be back to work tomorrow & submit a damn process charting then. I want to call it a day. Cos I have someone waiting for me to wish him good nite, sweet dreams, sleep tight & metta.........

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dunno what to do?? ask Google !!

At approx. 40 minutes or so, I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to do, and I panicked.

I man-handled a small tube of Super Glue in order to fix a pair of my favorite shoe. Well, the inner sole of my favorite pair came off a little, and I really liked this shoe. Not that I can't buy another one (I'd always do) but there are certain things money can't buy. Fondness. Comfy. Style. Just love it.

So, I genius-ly tried to glue the inner sole, when the disaster happened. That damn tube was ironically leaking, and those slimy glue got on my hands. As the name calls it, it's Super Glue, it sticks superbly, and dries super fucking fast!

I was like OMGosh....what am I gonna do? I tried to peel it away, it hurts me. My skin is peeling off when I tried too harshly. I washed it with soap...well, knew it won't help. Thinking I may get some glue removal, but hell I am not going out this late.

And a glimpse of some glittering object caught my attention -- my ASUS eePC...and INTERNET!!! Do you see the bright golden ring appearing on top of my NetBook now??

Googled -- How to get Super Glue off your skin.

TA-DA...! www.e-how.com !!


Instructions


1. Wash the glue off of your hands using hot water if the glue has not dried yet. Wet glue, of all types, should wash off relatively easily. Rub your hands together under the hot running water.
2. Rub your hands together to roll the glue into balls and get it off of your hands if the glue has already dried.
3. Peel the glue off in strips. Work your finger nail under the edge of the glue and gently lift and peel. Be careful not to peel your skin off with the glue.
4. Soak your hands in hot water for 5 minutes if the glue is being stubborn and is hard to remove.
5. Coat the area with Vaseline, after soaking, and let it sit for a few minutes before washing off the residue. This should remove the majority of the glue.
6. Wet the remains of the glue with nail polish remover that contains acetone. After saturating it with nail polish remover, try rubbing or peeling it off. Acetone does a good job of removing glue from skin, even stubborn glues such as Super Glue.

I am laughing hysterically now. At one moment, I was chickening out, didn't know what to do. And now, I feel like a super hero. Like a kid doing extremely well in handicrafts, waiting for daddy mommy encouraging kiss.

It makes me think of an occasion, when Chu was asking me what is that steel-like rack used to hang clothes. I said, portable wardrobe. Her eyes sparkled, and told me she will get herself one, cos her current wardrobe can't fit all her princess clothes. And I frowned and asked if she could manage to set it up all by herself. Of which, she replied "When you have Google, who needs a boyfriend?"

I am STILL laughing to myself now.....

What a great nite!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Chronicles of Narnia : The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Much awaited movie of the year. An epic full blasted with magics, imaginations and boundless believes.



I have seen more adventures, and less of legendary magics in this so called last episode of Narnia. I really wished it wouldn't come to an end any sooner. But it seems so. Well, kids in the movie grow up, and they eventually need to find a way to end something. Just like that Harry Potter craze, heard that it's drawing the curtains soon. Or already drawn?

Well, I don't know how I came through this movie. I am very sure I didn't watch the first episode at the cinema. Maybe I just happened to stumble across a pirated disc laying lifelessly on the floor, and decided to play it and let it take my soul away.

The Chronicles of Narnia -- really a good one. Enjoyed the mesmerizing flow of magical fairy-tale, yet by the end of the day brings me back to reality. I hope life goes the same way too. I hope there's Land of Narnia, and I want to give a big thug (and HUG) to my favorite leo, Aslan. This is the most charming lion I've ever seen. And Aslan will rule my heart for many years more.

Well, hope to get the full collections of it once I get back. One day when my hair turns gray, sitting on a rocky chair...still hope to watch my favorite Chronicles again!





Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.

An extraordinary person, leads an extraordinary life..

Friday, December 10, 2010

I was nebulized !

Bad flu symptoms attacked me two days back, causing lots of sneezing, blocked nose, and steady rise in body temperature. The sneezing was totally not enjoyable. Hated it. I didn't visit the Doc, thinking it's still OK to have common flu thingy. I boosted on my Multi-Vit and full Vitamin C Concentrate to shoo the reddy nose away.

And things got bad to worse. I started coughing so so so badly last night, that I feel my chest tightens, lungs congested, and difficult to breath. I braved to work despite all those calls, and finally raised the white flag by 3PM. I rushed to the Doc, with short breath, chilling hands, shaky legs and watery eyes. Now, do I sound like a drug addict?

When I reached the Doc office, she was terrified. She immediately brought me to the bed section, laid me down the bed, and gave me a Nebulizer. So, I was nebulized. First time ever! Doctor said I had acute respiratory decease, and (she don't quite know why) my brain was just craving for oxygen when I can't breath properly. And I can't breath properly due to cough, and that damn flu. Hey, it's not too serious tho...

After that, the rest are history. I am back in one full piece at home, resting. Still coughing, but certainly not as bad. The Doc gave me the Nebulizer, and told me if I've got the same symptom again at anytime, rush to the nearest hospital. Which means...Makati Medical Center or GrepaLife. And bring the Nebulizer with me!

According to Doc, most hospitals in Makati are not adequately equipped with Nebulizers, and most patients need to wait in queue to use the general machine-operated one at Emergency Unit. For whatever reason, it is always better, and luckier to have a personal nebulizer, just in case.

Well, fine. Here it is, Yenny's Nebulizer:



If I show this to Mom, am sure to freak her out...! Hehehehehe...cheeky *blek*

Infotainment:
In medicine, a nebulizer[1] (spelled nebuliser in British English)[2] is a device used to administer medication in the form of a mist inhaled into the lungs. Nebulizers are commonly used for treatment of cystic fibrosis, asthma, COPD and other respiratory diseases. The common technical principal for all nebulizers is to either use oxygen, compressed air or ultrasonic power, as means to break up medical solutions/suspensions into small aerosol droplets, for direct inhalation from the mouthpiece of the device. The definition of an aerosol is a "mixture of gas and particle", and the best example of a natural occurring aerosol is "mist" (being formed when small vaporized water particles mixed with hot ambient air, are cooled down and condenses into a fine cloud of visible airborne water droplets). When using a nebulizer for inhalation therapy with medicine to be administered directly to the lungs, it is important to note that inhaled aerosol droplets can only penetrate into the narrow branches of the lower airways, if they have a small diameter of 1-5 micrometers.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Dr. Seuss' Horton hears a Who...!

"A person is a person, no matter how small"

It does not matter if Kangaroo says "when you can't see them, when you can't her them, it does not exist". It took an elephant's belief and perseverance to believe there are people living in a speck of dust. Horton did not see them, but he hears them. And that is all Horton need to know, and to gather enough courage in believing.





Same goes to some little dream I had yesterday or in the past. Or I may dream a little dream today, tomorrow, while I'm having meals or thinking about small little things. The dream can be so insignificant, so invisible.... but if I believe, nothing else ever matter anymore.

Rather than taking time to worry if a little dream can ever come true, I'd rather rejoice along the journey of dreaming, thinking, believing and take a little step each day, to fulfill it. Maybe by the end of the day, nothing much have materialized, but a part of me have own something so precious...called memory!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

finally finalizing!

I didn't like to make decision without any careful (I mean so careful that it takes lots of time for it) consideration. It took me months to think things out, and with my heart crossed, I've finally come to a solution; which pleases everybody I loved dearly. Including myself.

Initiated and finalized a mutual agreement which resulted in a win-win situation (hopefully) with my boss last Monday. Got consent from SuperMom and SuperDad on my return to MNL for serving of resignation purpose. All's Well, Ends Well!

Date of resignation : 15 Jan 2011
Hong Kong Family Trip : 20 Jan - 26 Jan 2011
CNY @ Home : 27 Jan - 7 Feb 2011
Last resignation notice served : 25 Feb 2011
HOME SWEET HOME : 26 FEB 2011 onwards

Pheeewwww.....sign of relief! There goes my self-enrichment journey at Manila. It will come to an end, and it ends on February 2011.

Dad Mom was so afraid that I am tricking them with that Boy Cries Wolf story again. They were so upset when I told them I would return to MNL in Feb (eventho it's only 3 weeks). I re-assured them that there won't be anymore turning back this time. I am serious, my boss is serious, and I will be back.

God Bless. Metta.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

UP

Hardly get myself any DVDs or VCDs here in Makati. Even if I would, it would be those back alley pirated ones. Just couldn't drag the patience to finish a 90 minutes or so in front of my mini sized laptop.

However, a major home entertainment outlet is closing down one of it's shop at Greenbelt, and is selling loads of originals at much cheaper price. So, I was just casually browsing...browsing...and ended up bringing 2 pieces of Disney cartoons home with me -- Horton's hears a Who, and UP.

UP -- deeply touched, emotionally disturbed by this heart warming animation.




Plot's about Mr. Fredricksen flying his house to Paradise Falls using helium balloons. Mischievous and eager to earn a Assist The Elder little scout boy, Russel was dragged along to the adventure. At the land of South America, they made friends with big bird Kevin, and talking dog Dug.

" I know it sounds boring, but those are the ones I remember most..." says Russel, the little chubby boy.

This particular line strike me again, pulling me back to the origin of happiness. I have to agree more than I seemingly can to Russel's words. Sometimes, things that remain as most remembered events are not those breath taking ones. I can feel extremely angry or I can simply hate a person from head to toe. Or, I can even be so happy and crazy during a night out, that I decide to go all numb from laughing. But I doubt if I can really remember every moment of it, after a few years down the road.

Which are the ones I remember most?

I remember my childhood days at Taman Restu, small living flat with loads of talkative aunties from the neighboring lots. I remember the enthusiastic me waiting for the Porky Man (who sells pork, what else) to reach and once he shouts 'ju yok..!!!' I would rush down stairs and buy Mom's favorite lean meat. I remember Tony, the black brown mongrel, who I used to feed crackers every late evening.

There are also simple (and boring) stuffs I do everyday, every now and then; that matter most to me. I remember a very plain and routine relationship that I had. I remember going out in the wee hours, hand in hand; and all we got ourselves was just toothbrush from the petrol station kiosk. Irrelevant? but these are the ones I remember most. I remember how a tiring night after work was spent - biting buttocks, pillow fights and baby talks.

I also remember when a bunch of whacky girls loves to make BBQ at May's house when she was still staying at Bukit Angsana. Most of our celebrations, if not all, are BBQs party, and we didn't complain a single thing. We were all college going, and budget was our main subject. We could just grill all night long, laughing away. And it gathered most of us at the shortest time. These are the repetitive (and boring) ones, but I remember most. Now? It is more difficult to even talk to them, not to mention get together. They are earning thousands now, and they forgot BBQ. Now, they talk about international, oversea trips. What's home bound BBQ?

Nevertheless, it is just a composition of memories that I collect while age catches up. Everyone goes through these transitions at different stages of life. If not now, maybe later.

What I love about Russel is, he is one smart little boy. He knows how to remind some ol' chap (like ME) that money (lots of it) don't buy you good memories. It is those boring ones that lifts an upward curve on your lips....

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

11232002 - 11232010

No one have ever promised me that there will certainly be silver lining on those gloomy clouds. So, why should I even look forward to it? If patience is the key word, I think this is not the right key. If supportive is the right cup of tea, I am certainly a coffee lover. Nobody says in such situation, an apple thrown up into the air, will finally drop to the ground. Who is Newton anyway? Nobody knows Newton here. This is a Shakespeare world. Unlimited love and SACRIFICES. And what happens in the end? Either the main actor or the actress died. Only the audiences will feel so touched and shed some crocodile tears. After all the imagination and castles built in in the air, there would still without silver lining on gloomy clouds.

There is no such thing as mutual sacrifices towards a common path called eternity.

Don't be childish.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

a tribute to the Drama Queens

Since May or June 2010...I have been loathing, complaining and jerking all my disappointment towards Drama Queens. Well, it started as Drama Queen without the "s" because I thought I would only be lucky enough to meet one undead species. But as days evolve, and so does drama queens...more joined in to the group. Well, let's just abbreviate it as DQ or DQs .... as how I always encode them.

Just like Dad's favorite phrase "morons are everywhere"...DQs are everywhere too. I am not; and should not be, any surprise to see one or two at Makati City. Maybe they added spice to my life. Without them, life would be boring, and I wouldn't have this chance to write about them! Hey, a tribute is highly honored. It weighs a very important position in my life. It denotes that I will still have memories about these DQs after many more chapters on this blog. DQs will never, ever let you slip away from their drama-ing nightmares. It is their life mission to haunt you once a while. So, to all the DQs I've known...no fret. I won't forget YOU. Not so easy.

Weird, self centered, materialistic, cranky, mean....I've met countless of these people in 28 years. However, I am really caught defenseless to one particular Drama Queen -- HII YONG SING ESTHER. Before I begin, let's everybody raise, and give a big round of applause to this human. To this Queen. The Queen of all Drama. The Drama Queen Bitch. (I will alight why she is also called a bitch. Read on. Don't miss a thing)

I can't write in paragraphs about her. The more I write, the heater I get. Better not. I'd burn my own blog if I did. Let's keep it to simple, straight to the point format.


1. She pretended to be a smoker, to get attention. However, if I ever invite her for a puff, she would reject saying she doesn't want to go heavy. Fine. When asked if she need a ciggie, she would make up a story, saying some poor woman is selling cigarettes along the road. When asked how much per ciggie, she made up a ridiculous price, thinking all of us (smokers) are dumb. Til to date, no one knows why she put this up. Because pretending to be a smoker ( and letting a smoker know she doesn't know how to smoke) makes a shit out of her, rather than getting attention.

2. She does not take responsibility in a single mistake she did. Not only skipping the pretentious "I'm sorry" part, she will make a very innocent face telling you she's got nothing to do with it. After assigning her to read materials from the Sharepoint Library, I found that all documents were checked out. So I kindly told her that all she need to do is to retrieve the read version rather than checking it out. Because, it takes out hell lots of time for others to check it in later. She then gave me the blur look, and said she did not click the check out button, AT ALL! Fine. I reset all the options, and made her to assess Library again. This time, she clicked on Check Out button again. I was horrified.

3. It is very difficult to make her to use brain to think. Whenever there's any email to reply, or people asking her input on some cases, she feels it could be better to kill her straight away. But of course, she won't die so easily either. She will start her sweet conversation with others, asking for opinions or directions. Then she would copy and paste whatever *shit* she had gathered and reply the email with full satisfaction. However, not all things she gathered are useful. When questioned further, she would just say " I don't know...in fact it was (another person's name) who asked me to write/do it this way......"

4. PART I -- She got some skin allergies due to beer. By then, most of her drama were already unveiled, and she knows precisely she can't drama further. She won't risk of getting caught red handed. So she requested HR for a department transfer, which ironically was approved. Desperate to go home (MSIA) before starting her new (drama) at Payment Dept, she aggravated her skin allergies. She took more beer every night, and eat seafood whenever she can. She went to see doctor (to have medical records) but never care to eat the medicine. She continue to intoxicate herself, and cried at HR Dept, begging to be released home. She said she need to be hospitalized, because local doctors could not cure her skin disease (allergies). Hell, how to cure when she is not taking medicine, and continuing to intoxicate herself?

5. PART II -- Finally HR Dept pitied her, let her home. Once home, she text-ed her Makati boyfriend Mr Toh and get his attention. She told him she needs a BLOOD TRANSFUSION. Her blood is "dirtied" and need new blood. The doctor at KL "professionally" inserted a tube via her old wound from appendices surgery and inserted new animal blood to her oh-so-weak body. Doctor gave her animal blood because it was so emergency that they couldn't find a matched human blood. And guess the endings, can you? Mr Toh pitied her and reassure HR that she is really sick. Toh actually believed all she said!?!??!!? Gosh, love is blind? She came back after 3 days of MC from a non-existence Clinic. And there and then, she looked like a pig to me. Don't guess further which animal donated blood to her.

ok...I am feeling HOT already. She really think that we are DUMB enough to believe her. But for the sake of history recording, I will go on. Maybe this piece of story can be a good reference to the younger generation next time.

6. After she make good use of Mr Toh's tender love & care, she dumped him. She bitch-ed a china guy Mr Wang. Yeah, this is how DQ Bitch title came from. We couldn't really guess the reason why she dumped Toh for Wang, but the only possibility, Wang is an IT guy. She need an IT guy to fix her Sony Vaio. So Wang happily fixes her laptop while DQ spread her legs for his pleasure. She stayed at his place every night, totally disregarding her room mate existence. Well, DQ's room mate could not be bothered because ... who is NOT sick of DQ by now?

7. After her laptop is fixed, she found that her room mate is giving her a very cold shoulder. DQ knows her room mate found her skeletons. So, she proudly moves out from company's residence and rent a studio suite outside. Well, suitable for her so that she can bitch any guy to her place for a good romantic night of sex trade. She dumped Wang, and now is rumored to bitch a guy named Shen. This guy Shen already has a steady girlfriend, but man...so vulnerable to juicy vagina...fallen trap. Heard that Shen is in the midst of breaking up with his girlfriend, and still in dilemma if he should go ahead with DQ. What a stupid guy. He used his balls to think, that's why.

8. Latest news about DQ's family. Before that, let me recap. She said she came from a broken family. Her father divorced her mother, accusing her for having an affair. However, her mother became DQ's life's heroine, for bringing 3 toddlers - Bro, Sis and DQ up. Clap Clap. She also commented that her brother has extra marital affairs (following her father's footsteps). DQ's whole family hated her very much in year 2008, because DQ allegedly bitches with her own Sister's boyfriend then. But all these are not the essence. The essence is : Her sister got married early Nov 2010. DQ was no where to be found in the family video. This proves that DQ is never welcomed in the family after all. Anyway, who wants to have a younger sister that bitches with own boyfriend? Second : DQ was not raised from a broken family. Father, Mother, Brother, Sis-in-Law, Sister & Husband are all seen happily taking family photo and videos during the wedding, EXCEPT DQ. So sad. Let's sob together. At this point, we don't need a genius to know why DQ is such a black sheep in the family. Maybe DQ treated her family exactly the same way she did to all of us here at Makati...If not, any better ideas?



I have to end it here. If I continue, I don't think I can ever stop. These are only some of the highlights, many more Kisah Benar not even included yet. I so am tired typing, but I could write a book out of this.

I don't know if this human is a sadistic, or she simply deserve it. I made a decision to stay away from this Queen not because I am afraid of her, because I am sick of her sadism; I can't possibly react naturally anymore. The force of Karma knows best.



Disclaimer: The original characters and plot above are anonymously named, and are the property of the author of this story. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. This story is copyright (c) 2010 www.memoirswithyenny.blogspot. All rights reserved.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Branding spells cast

I am not a spendthrift. I am not a shopaholic. I am not uncontrollable. Confession ends. Amen.

Today, I made a story and told it to a very important person in my life. The story goes:

I bet you knew that all Casinos around the world are "protected" by some powerful Feng Shui, a notation to it's business success all year round. Irregardless if the Casino is indeed operated by a foreigner a.k.a kwai lo...I am more than just sure that there is some kind of positioning in the premise. But hush hush...apart from feng shui, there are unseen paranormal beings hallowing in Casinos too. Yeah, we chinese call it "guai jai" or little ghost of lost souls...wandering at the premise. Be honest, if you are in a Casino - you'll either lost the sense of time, and/or you don't feel like leaving already while you are either winning or losing monies. It's either you don't play at all in the casino, or you will be dreaded to leave your heavy ass. Right?

I am now telling you the essence of my story. It's a fact. Be ready.

Apparently, all branded boutiques applied casino's wonderful tactic too. Head's definitely not nodding if you are about to say "feng shui...?" No, it's not feng shui. Branded boutiques like LV, Coach, Burberry, Zara, MNG, Guess, DKNY....listless, they don't need feng shui at all! It's the latter -- guai jais....with "s" because not only one. Well, the guai jais work in a different SOP as compared to those at the casinos. The guai jai will be speaking, or literally whispering to your ear and say "buy this tote...buy this bag...buy this boots..I know you don't need it, but hell who cares? you NEED this because it will make you feel better~~~" and so it goes. Your hands trembling, grasping the air as if you can't breath. Headed straight to the counter and pull your plastic card out. Once the cashier hand the shopping bag to you, it was all relief, and you really do feel better about yourself. But little did you know, the guai jai actually stayed in the shopping bag, and followed you home. Because after a month or so...guai jai will make you start hearing things again. The voice says " Go...go shopping again. You need NEW things. You don't want those old things to stuff your wardrobe, don't you...? There's new season offer out there~~~ go...go....."

And after that, I rest my case.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Re-generating Metta

I have wasted too much time feeling lost, deliberating unforeseen outcomes, worrying worthless agendas and carrying too much burden. Things that I have been too conscious about previously meant nothing serious to people I have cared for. I wasn't any big deal if I were to say things I have in mind earlier...rather than always waiting for the right time.

There is no right time, and there will never be the right time.

"Choose : Saying something you meant to say now and regret it later; or regret it later for not saying it now?" -- Phanida Suwanarat

I was so moved by Selina's courage and optimism in living through her 3rd degree burn. I remembered how I complained for having a pimple on my face, and that freaking sound I squeaked when I was recuperating from my less-than-3 inches cysts removing surgery. Well, maybe Selina threw her tantrums too but I believe it is never any easier than any pimples or laser cut.

Should any circumstances may befall me unknown, I am wondering now why should I waste so much time contemplating things I shouldn't even fret about. If living my this very life can be free as a bird, sealed from externalizations and demotivating opinions -- I would have saved more of those ticking seconds & minutes to say, to be, to do and to react upon real people who matters to me most.

I know you love me, and you know I love all of you. If you can feel what I say, you've got a piece of love cookie from me from this moment. Keep it with you, and redeem it with more of my time and precious events spent with you...

Metta.

p/s: metta to Selina Ren too. You may not know me, but you know the universal language call love. Metta and speed recovery, Selina.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I am so lost !

I am bored. I am so bored that I am forcing myself to write something about feeling bored. Urrgghh..

I have lost a fair amount of interest at work. There are whole tons of doubts playing in my mind tonight. I've thought about the imbalance distribution of recognition and remuneration at work. I've analyzed why some dumb people can be seated highly and still not-so-smartly commands people to work. I've asked myself if I need a break from this corporate affair, and make really deep thinking what I want to do next. I've even questioned myself what I want to be in 5 years....10 years time from now. It crossed my mind if I should take up some professional courses to recharge myself.

But yet, what's so mega about being in the working field for 10 years? Dad has been working his quarter life away, yet he never complained about directionless. Dad had courageously face each (boring and tedious) working days with much enthusiasm, because Dad knows the pay check will feed his family with good health and happiness. Dad's got responsibilities to bear, and yet he never complained. So what am I now? A naggy grandma?

I keep on convincing myself that things will be better when I'm home. I mean, I may be experiencing all these hormonal messiness because I do not have my responsibility (parents) with me. That's why I am swayed once in awhile.

But coming to think of it, it shivers me with the fact if I'm finally home and JOBLESS -- what kind of shit I am putting myself into? So I will begin to worry to death, and just grab any job opportunity that I can get. Simply get a job....I need money to survive. So which is which then? Do I need a job because of money, or do I need time to think about a job?

And easily anticipated, I will end up feeling and thinking as exactly the way I am now. I will be worrying, start complaining, and doubt if I am directionless. I will begin to ask questions like a mad cow. And once more, I will be sitting (at somewhere) blogging, saying : I AM SO LOST!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween 2010

I have never really attended any Halloween Party in my life, until yesterday. Yes, I never did. I think Halloween is not a very IN thing way back in Malaysia. Although we do have a fair amount of Christians (a good mix of chinese and indians), but I don't see people, or practically zombies roaming Jalan Tun Razak on Halloween's Day!

Here does. I saw penguins, batman, pumpkins (popular one!) and a lizard kid walking along Valero St yesterday. As for the grown ups, I saw skeleton man, accidental deaths, witches, vietnamese souls, vampire (boring!) and mummies -- partying all night long.

And me..? Ha Ha .. I was supposed to be a dead waitress, but my make-up swayed me to another theme. I looked more like a possessed waitress. Imagine I was working late at one particular night, patrons were undoubtedly demanding and I was working my life off. And suddenly, a drunkard came over and forced his stinky breath lips on me...and wooosssshhhh! The devil came to me, gave me unlimited strength...and I strangled the big-O disgusting man to his last breath. And after which, I attended Stellent's Halloween Party. The End.



urrgghh...LAME!

It was not a very very enjoyable party, because I was unwillingly chosen to be the Event MC that night. I was crapping my voice away, and all I've got is a bunch of not so sporting audiences. Well, not all of them, but most of them were so-not-cool. In fact, not everybody came dressed up! Some of them were too shy, a small quarter just wanted to look pretty, and the rest just joined for free food and drinks. Duhhz..should have spiked their drinks with some sorts of poison. If they don't participate to the fun, no healing potion for them!

my-oh-my, no matter what it was -- Yenny's first Halloween Party! Guess I won't have the opportunity to participate in this kinda event anymore. OR else, I can just bring my experience and spirits back to KL, and hope my bunch of buddies there will do something for Halloween 2011!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

once bitten....run!

hey you better put more clothes on. You've got a bareback, bra strap is seen and I can even see through that lining you have in there!

Wow, lining! Okay, I wasn't exaggerating at all. Now don't you ask me why I was so "amazed" by that remarks you made that day. You think it was normal, I think it was hilarious! It was breath-taking! It was disgusting.

1. Her sexiness may and may not have anything to do with you. You may choose to visualize, but making verbal connection is putting yourself in a situation which suggests the latter. You do have almost anything to do with her.

2. Making a lame remark, and then transferring the anger (for making a lame remark) on me is never gonna cover you up. In fact, it made the situation go filthy. Very very pathetic too.

3. There's no point of thinking if giving any excuses can make the whole damn thing turn around. What have been said, have been said. Be a gentleman and admit that it slipped your tongue.

Yeah, I am feeling absolutely NOT OK because it feels like an almost-dejavu. I don't want to be placed in a situation I was at before. Not any single chance. It was not easy, and if you cannot be a hero, don't expect me to become one too.

Yeah, a past is a past. I forgive but I couldn't forget. And I don't think any normal human will be able to forget THAT incident. It's just like the art of tattoo. Once you got it in, it's forever there. Laser remove it, but scars remains.

Yeah, I think I have been bitten once , and supposedly I'll be twice shy. But anyone knows me will predict correctly -- I'll run! Being shy is asking too much from me.

So, I have blurted it all out. Here. urrghhhh...should do it at Facebook or somewhere damn visible, but hell...statement too long. Since I won't have the courage to tell you straight to the face, I hope this helps. My therapeutic e-confession.

To, Mr. Muuk.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

the power of faith~

At times of adversity, at that thinnest moment of survival, at that cross road of mere success or failure. No one ever tell you that bad moments will last. People you see everyday cannot promise a bed full with roses at every single tick of the clock too. Since in real practicality no one can tell you anything that's virtually confirmed, why care to find external assistance?

The real jig lies in yourself. Faith. The power of believing.

I have at any slightest opportunity, make myself covered with a full blanket of optimism. I do buy the thoughts that good aura makes an ugly encounter seems alright. If I were slapped by something so cruel to hear, I'd try to convince myself "maybe it's not so disgusting if I see it with my own eyes; rather than hearing it". If the visual ability is not cooperating with my cognitive gifts, I rest my case.

Well, I hate to hate when I know it is hatred that's hating me. And I believe the ultimatum of beliefs lies in the believer. If human are build to hate, then let's all rejoice to God's creation of great positive-driven mindset which works like the antibiotics.

Once in awhile, it is time to sit down, pop a pill or two...and tell yourself -- The medicine will work well...because very soon, all the hatred that's agonizing my body & soul will disappear with the power of faith~

But humans! Don't abuse the power of faith. Don't be a betrayer to the light of faith. Don't hurt the people who once believe in you, because once the faith is gone, there is nothing left. You don't always get a chance to resurrect faith.

Monday, October 18, 2010

typhoon ... not again!

Typhoon Juan a.k.a. Megi.

The weather have not been kind to me since weekend, and so it's called. I am totally dragged to a gloomy mood too. It's been raining the whole day, and I braved the storms and rain just for a set of McNuggets, fries and coke. I wasn't hungry. Just craved for food.

Expatriates here seems okay with the typhoon thingy, but not me. I am always thinking for the worst that could happen when the wind and gust gets too strong any mankind can comprehend. Of course, natural disasters and calamities happens everywhere. But so not right when it happens to me when I am all alone. Without my family with me, to be precise. If we are stuck together, at least we still have each other and prayers to keep ourselves warm. Not here. Not now. Not right.

I always labeled myself as a rainy person. I love the rain since I was a kid. I could listen to the sound of raindrops falling on whatever, and make a melody out of it. My imagination gone wildest during rainy days, and I am most relaxed then. As I age, I've learned that every beautiful moments don't happen individually. Maybe I loved the rain, or enjoyed the raindrop musical, because I have the right timing, people and place. All elements comes together and forms the magical orchestra. Like now, it's raining like mad cats and wild dogs, but those soothing feelings are no where to be found. Not here. Not now. Not anymore.

Anyway, I just hope that Juan and/or Megi will go away very soon. No more typhoons after this. And it will be the best if I can go to Batangas this weekend.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

some other things.....

All my senses are finally coming to a consensus on Friday night. I gathered enough courage to say things I was afraid to say. I have made decision of matters I was chickening from much earlier.

It feels light. And I've got love too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is Halloween coming end of October, and I happily, if not gladly taken the honor to become Emcee of Event that night. I have no idea what Halloween is all about, except some silly make-ups by some hippies, and many darn spooky pumpkins hanging at corners. Now I know that those make up are meant to ward off bad spirits, and that orange-y object has a name, Jack-O-Lantern.

The Pinoys celebrates Halloween like how I celebrate 14th Day 7th Month's of Chinese Lunar Calendar (does celebrate sounds too jovial?).....Thinking that I should get customary with the Pinoys, which I think I haven't been too sporting since I came here. Why waste a night full of fun & craps away just like the years before? I AM IN!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I might go to Batangas Beach with Bob and a big bunch of his departmental colleagues next weekend. Of course I am looking forward to it. Heard that's a nice white sandy beach out there. But not necessarily sunny. Weather have been quite weird lately. We just received alerts of Typhoon Megi passing by Metro Manila within 2-3 days time. We are advised to be prepared (if not for the worst) that there may be heavy rain with thunderstorms. It just happened this morning. Sudden shower, then thunderstorms lasted for an hour.

Hmmm...wonder if weather can be kind to me next week, if I can make a day-off to the beach.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I've been thinking...

I wonder how's the weather at Home now. I wonder if Dad and Mom are sleeping like the same position I saw them sleeping in that 2 weeks. I wonder, if I should wonder, How much are they thinking about me.

I had very short conversation with Dad via msn like last week. I told Dad that I was thinking about him and Mom that very afternoon, and he came online just to chat a few lines of wisdom words with me.

Like last Monday, I went out for a late (very late) dinner with colleagues at Brogus. Right after that outing, I went home with a very heavy heart. I knew I was afraid of something, which I have no idea what exactly it was. My heart was just pounding for the whole night, and I had to shrug it off in order to sleep.

And on Friday night, I've got a couple of missed call from Dad's handphone while I was away for a meeting. I called back, Dad asked if I've called Mom many times, because Mom's handphone got 10 over missed calls from an international number. They thought of me naturally, worried sick. Of course I hadn't, but I tried to build another conversation with them, but the line got bad. It was like less than taking-5.

And again, I've been thinking about them there after. I saw that Frances Yip's having a Charity Concert at KL soon. I thought if I should get the tickets for them for Dad's coming birthday. But I just didn't have the courage to do so. As I was munching on my Burger King today, it struck me to ring them up for casual talks, but I didn't have the enthusiasm to get my damn phone out.

I've been thinking...if I should call, I should call when I'm ready. And by getting ready means getting all my senses ready, and not just call for the sake of calling.

Maybe I've been tired at work lately. Therefore, I've been thinking, I don't want to do something for the sake of doing it. I'm already enough fake at work. Not with my parents.

And so, I've been thinking..

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I'll be okay

Taking time away from work and be alone for a little while. So sound like I'm recharging myself with more positive aura. Before heading back to the battlefield again.

I haven't been getting my share of a good fortune cookie since I came here to restart a new career at Makati. Obstacles, a fair bit of bad encounters and whole damn lots of dissatisfaction sound more like it.

It was life and death at front-line Caspo Inc. It was a jungle out there, with so many predators eyeballing to terminate your existence -- just in case you are better than them. Not a single touch of humanity felt. My presence was a challenge. The iron lady side of me made it through the toughest days and hell sent a savior; brought me to Stellent Services Corp.

Many people were looking way on top to this position, making assumptions that life can be much better, fresher air, wider views and Yenny must be enjoying every piece of it. But as I said, hell sent the savior. Looking at the good side, still a savior. But the truth of it, it was from hell.

I am so energy drained today. I do not have the slightest energy to fight the war. Or so it seems, I am totally blasted with another deja vu, like I had it at 10th Floor. Maybe I won't find anymore predators here, but it is full of drama queens roaming like zombies. I see things, I hear things and I dreaded every scent of it.

I have made so many steps backwards to accommodate myself into the environment. I have taken all precautions and boosting my immune system for it. But I lost my chi balance by the end of the day. Like today.

Of course all these are not going to kill me or something. I believe, and realize that there's no place better than Home; not even workplace. That's why I must be way stronger and enthusiastically happier in order to achieve some tangibles I may not get way back Home. There will be a time when I step my foot back to my origin, and head start with a slower pace again. There will be a destination called Home that I can work my head off and yet still able to be with the person I loved dearly. And so I can take off all the weariness and make a slow dance through the night.

This will not make me fall, but I will remember how it feels like a tour in hell. It won't be so scary anymore when I look back to all these crap I had. I gained life experience. Bad ones.....but

I'll be okay....when it's time to call quit.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

my first Tiramisu -- with Enrico Loh

I don't know why many people perceive me as a dumb chef. They think I can't cook rice out of an electronic cooker, and many doubt if I can fry a telur mata kerbau. Gosh, they don't know me yet.

I am learning, and progressing into a better kitchen person, since I came to Makati. Who doesn't agree that every survival skill includes making foods edible? Let's see. I have made mongo, chili okra, sweet & sour pancit canton and herbs & spice chicken ... these are the confirmed edible ones. Others, I am still projecting myself to it.

My third achievement back Home -- was learning some good hands at Tiramisu. I think I met Enrico a.k.a Rojak at UCSI, and no better memories about cookery reminds me of him. This Food Science guy, who gets kinda lots of attention from gals because he cooks. LOLX....and to my surprise, he taught me Tiramisu.





I told him I don't fancy Tiramisu, maybe it's too sweet for me. I am a bittersweet chocolate person, because I think it feels relaxing to mix two different flavors, and melts it in my mouth.

But learning Tiramisu from Rojak was great. I think he loves food, every particular flavors transformed within. Of course, I hope he loves food as how he loves life...not every human can make something out of real passion.

And to the girl fated to be Rojak's girlfriend/wife...you are one lucky girl. Because he is gonna make food out of love!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Sherine darl'

My second proudest achievement (well, I have to call it achievement when time is really running out) in my 2-weeks journey at home is ....tang-tang-tang-tang.....having most of my extra time with Sherine Chin Oi Lian (dunno why like to call her full name).

Yea, searched through my camera; no pictures taken with her during those outing. No problem, can't possibly forget her curl lashes and pinkish apple cheeks. Muacks.

It sounded as if some regular talks. But hell no. You won't see or hear anything similar happening to me without her presence. I don't talk to anyone else the same way I talked to her. It's not just plain chemical between us. It's working like magic. Some kinda strong powerful potion that a white witch have spelled on us, and created bonds that real sister might not even have...it's like love without sex! (yes...stop laughing.. =.= )

I don't know how the topic flowed, but I was finding a confidante in her by digging some of my old darkest secrets -- and revealed to her naturally. Not that I have planned to hide it from her before, but maybe some stuffs which I thought I have swept under the carpet.

I told her how much I hate his family. This is certainly my red button, because I can't believe it myself. Just like the vulnerable side of me whom afraid of crying in public...I thought I have engraved the thoughts of hatred somewhere in a black hole.

I told Darl' how much I hated his family, and why they have made me so so so mad at them. As more I speak, I feel much lighter. I feel like slightly brand new, because Darl told me not to feel bad of hating them. Less sense of guiltiness drowned me when Darl told me that it is very natural for me to hate them, and if Darl would have encountered the same thing, wishing them all dead is not entirely wrong too.

I am not saying that Darl is supporting my voodoo thoughts. I am declaring that Darl would always have this charisma and charm to lead me into becoming a person that I should really am. After so long surviving on a foreigner's land, I feel that I can be true to someone I call my --- best best closest darling sister.

Yea, it felt great after that simple yet close to heart conversation with her. I don't know what else can I say -- except telling her YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!!!!!!!!!

Don't you dare leaving this relationship as long as I'm still alive.

Love you and I am blessed to have known you.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

my Sis - In - Law!

Thinking back, I had my full 7 days fully dedicated to Mr. & Mrs. Ho Jr. I mean that Gary Ho and Carol Choo. And I couldn't believe it either, I really love my sis-in-law. True, I don't really know her as a person and we hardly got chance to talk really deep thoughts. But all senses of togetherness is already pouring in. I don't care if she is shy, or she's got this eagerness to mop the floor (like Joyce HO), or she loves to fork the bill (like Clement HO).....u see u see....she has got some of the Ho's genes in her way too soon! And this is what I want to announce as FAMILY.

Life will never be the same when jovial things like this happens. My relationship with Gary improved and hopes it will still be improving. We talked, and wish there will be more subject flowing in coming days. And, take a peep at how happy my old bags are....I think equally happy (or even more) than having a daughter in law!

I need to repeat myself again -- I have had my blessings. It was tremendous happiness. Really.

The wedding luncheon went very smoothly. Everyone played their part with utmost cooperation and coordination. (yeah, not interested to record some of not-so-satisfied performance given by certain immature fella during the big day). Of course, HO family is always in steady mode when such professional and highly skilled Events Manager *"*ahem*"* --- ME --- is available to ensure all goes well. Yes, you may applause now.

After a week of challenging chores to ensure full blast of fun on the BIG Day, everyone was almost K.O. SuperDad SuperMom and SuperGirl all slept like real babies the next day. But all tiredness were swept aside when Gary brought Carol home on Sunday morning....

I place the rest of stories to an epic of happily-ever-after...

Sunday, September 26, 2010

checking in~ Easton Place

There goes my 2 weeks excitement and thrilling encounters at home. As said, I have had my blessings from the Triple Gems, and the Guardian Angels have been very very kind and loving to me, my family and friends...

Of course, I have a number of subjects to update here at my personal space. But coming back to Manila feels like a big big hangover~ I don't know why. Let me get over with this restlessness, so I can fill up my pages with some very very touching and close to hearts encounters way back HOME.

and yes, I will be HOME soon.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I've got my blessings!

It has been almost 24 hours since I'm home. I've seen SuperDad n SuperMom...so pinky health, still as naggy...still so SUPER. I spoke to Bro, it was a little awkward, but heaven knows how much efforts I've given in. Soon Family is doing very well too. Joyce got a better secured job and Wilson will be promoted. Wayne, still naughty but still in one piece. Leo..I don't understand why this toy poodle isn't toy anymore. He's growing bigger and the jumpsuit I bought him, nearly couldn't fit!

Overall...I know Guardian Angels have been keeping an eye (or both) on my Family. That's why I learned about contentment today. I feel so blessed while having them around me, and I know this is called true happiness.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

here comes HOME!

There...there....I have been busy as a bee; free like a bird. I have hated enough to make me lost control and I have loved so much it felt angelic. I have cursed enough, but could still remember the importance of a good pat on the back.

Many scenarios happened, many feelings remixed. All these that happened at Makati are gonna wrap up for awhile now, because Yenny is leaving you -- to be HOME!

A loud loud arrrgggghhhhh.......I AM FINALLY HOME!!! is what you people at 27 Jln Jaya 3A gonna hear!

It will be so much fun. So much love.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Gary & Carol ROM

Finally, Carol is Mrs. Ho today. And of course, automatically she is my Sis-In-Law too. Funnily, she requested me not to bully her from today onwards. I told her "You'd better be giving me cute nephew / niece very soon. Or else, I will bug you non-stop"



Most of the key persons attended to their Rom at Putrajaya this very early morning. Dad said they got to be there by 8AM. Surely, everyone reached on time, and had a very good morning throughout.

Dad said all will be perfect if I was there too....

No fret, I will be HOME during their Chinese tradition wedding ... and I guarantee everyone some very very very delightful & heart-warming events.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

am I accomodating .... or suppressing?

Since I moved to Stellent's; I've got more time and freedom to chat with my family and friends during working hours. This new job designation doesn't carry too much of P&C all the time and therefore we are permissible to "snake" at our own risk.

Due to that, Daddy have been msn-ing with me quite frequently. This may sound like good news, but there is always another side of anything.

Daddy had been sharing lots of happenings at home with me, which sometimes makes me feel happy and yet; worrying at times. Of course, knowing Superdad&mom lives healthily and happily is a very good blessing...but knowing some of those bad news can really pull away my energy at work too.

Daddy says, very soon...home will be different. Brother is moving on to another stage of life, and Leo may be following too. Our once small family, though seems growing bigger (by having Carol)...may signals that it is getting quieter too. And Dad does want me home.

Daddy says he misses his little san maw very much, and so does mom. Mom is always thinking if I am having good meals at work; and sometimes would ask dad if he knows what dinner I was having. Mom knows it has been some time that I haven't taste her home cooked food, and miss those days when I would be home and ask "what's for dinner tonight, apart from rice again!?!?"

Superdad&mom knows very well that I will be home soon. But maybe they couldn't get a clue why must I be home later, and not sooner.

Me? I don't know too. I'm also not sure if I am accommodating to certain needs here in Makati; or just simply suppressing my eagerness to be home again...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Cognition:;impaired

I couldn't believe that I survived yesterday. Yea, I could sound a little absurd, but it was a roller coaster day.

It was a long stretched 7AM - 10PM day at work - non-stop. By 8PM, I could no longer feel my toes. I mean, it was constant feel of floating in the air. My vision's blurred. It was difficult to see, let alone focus on that damn monitor. My thinking ability was lost. I was a walking homosapiens with no cognitive skill. I skipped dinner, too. But it was good news that I had a very full and rich breakfast to start my day. Tiredness made me lost appetite.

I think it took me less than an hour to go K.O once I reached home. And I slept the whole night through until today....

yes....yesterday was so...kantoi!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

roof top, Easton Place

As I finished dinner with Vivian, time was still too early to get our bums back to office. So I suggested that we both can hang out at Easton's roof top. Well, get a good grasp of fresh air, or just simply procrastinate whatever hell we were doing in office today.

It's been almost 6 months since I stepped on Easton's 37th Floor. It used to be a solemn place for me to think, talk and cry.

I told Vivian; I used to sit up there all alone. I used to enjoy the strong breeze there and think about so many things about myself. I would think what are the things that I could possibly done if I'm still in Malaysia. I would think if I could fall in love with Makati. I would think if there will be one fine day when I'm back home for good, and how would I contemplate that later. I would think what sort of stage have my life gone through...and should I be singing praises to it?

And then I would do all the talking. To myself. I would say stuffs like, Buddha I want you to keep an eye (or both) on my parents. Bless them with happiness and pinky health while I am away. And I would also say; what are the silliest things I have done in my life, and ask myself if I ever regretted any of it. And I would also sometimes count on how many decisions I have made in life that made me proud. And what are those wrong turns I have taken that made me a little lesser than a full person I should be today...

And then the crying comes. I don't necessarily cry for guiltiness. Sometimes there are tears of joy, and sometimes, just out of some weird loneliness. Sometimes I'd be crying for nothing too, just to relieve some of those bad aura I absorbed throughout the day. I cry, because I am.

And just when I was wrapping up my stories, I saw a plane took off from NAIA. Yea, I can see lots of planes taking off and landing in far away from Easton. That's why I used to be here all the time. So that, by looking at those planes...I can count on days for me to be home draws nearer....and nearer....

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sept better be coming fast !

Things that I'm thinking of doing ... I'm thinking so badly ...

1. I want to see my SuperDad and SuperMom in real person. No more skype. No more international calls. No more sms.

2. I want to be really part of the family and help around for Bro's wedding preparations. I want to be so busy and happy doing it, and enjoy the day when I can meet with so many 2-ma-ku-jeh 3-ku-6-poh whom I haven't met in ages.

3. I want to see Carol in her wedding gown, and then in Mom's red chinese traditional wedding kua. I've dreamed of wearing it, but fate decides Carol's first. No problem, I'm equally thrilled.

4. I want to really sit down and chat my heart out with Sherine Chin Oi Lian. I bloody miss her. In fact, I missed out so many things about her. Her bridal gowns selection, then the ROM, then the photo shooting. We should really get our ass stuck on the couch .. and talk.

5. I want to eat all sorts desserts that I loved. And then only followed by other indulging food which my stomach growls only by thinking about it.

I just want to be home so much actually. It doesn't really matter if I can't do all the things I'd wanted to do...but I'd better be home soon. I'm getting out of my mind if this continues...

Guardian Angel, bring me home, safely. They want the full package of me !

Thursday, July 29, 2010

sick + alone = only lonely

What is the best indicator that you are all alone, you might think. Well, when you are sick (you don't need to be very sick like a sicko) and as you look around, you are all alone, that is when you are really lonely. Loneliness...is like a hole in the heart. The heart still pumps, just kinda irregular and uncomfortable. Meaning, you won't die out of loneliness....but it haunts you when thinking how long will this lasts.

Nah~ I'm not very sick. Just mild throat inflammation caused by overheated body temperature.But nevertheless, I've been feeling kinda empty for the past few days....

Am worrying dead for all at home. Bro's wedding is nearing, but a sudden spark of disharmony sets in. Don't know which black cat cursed Mom and Joyce...they can't possible get things right with each other. Of course, Dad and I are very upset with this situation, but reckoned it's out of our league to solve. Urrgghh....woman~

Am not quite enjoying work lately. The drama queen is out for a foul play again (and again and again....) and she is so affecting the aura at work. I struggled to find balance everyday and not let her screenplay defeat my peace...but I lost. She was last year's Grammy winner. Best Actress, Best Script, Best Sob, Best Casting, Best Plot. All I have to say is, "Get lost, bitch"

Well, maybe it's parts & pieces here and there that accumulates to my resentments to face life alone. And therefore, ladies and gentlemen...let's give your loudest applause to...loneliness.

You see, when a person is in doubt (I mean lots of doubt) the immune system goes weaker and weaker everyday. I pumped Vitamin C everyday, and yet am getting a cold paired with dumb throat infection now.

Life's ironic huh.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

why Family?

JHPS: If u can comeback early 2 help ard. I dun think i b able 2 help anymore. Not only s does not respect me s also look dw on my son 4 being naughty n s is someone dat i care. I hv forgotten abt de past h s treated me cos give face 2 dad who brght me up.

YHFY: ur feel nw i understd.but all t years, all of us had done some thgs hurtful too.imagine if u terlanjur cakap n i'm mad at u, dnt u think its a waste of energy?

JHPS: I need time 2 digest but yr mom really 2 much. I been asking myself can i 4get. evytime i think abt it i will cry. Phaps u msn dad n ask him wat happen.

YHFY: i alrdy knw wht happen.i dnt blame u if angry or sad.my point is it worth 2keep this so long.as said,who nvr wronged?all of us did,but family nvr fails.

JHPS: De point is she never treat me as part f fly otherwise s wouldnt said to take ah tham or ah yee son 2 jump on de bed. i know wayne s naughty but a mom's luv 2wards their children r vy great. How s protects yew. My surname s ho

YHFY: if 1point like this u r nt family,think bck other points tht makes us family.wayne's birthday?home cook food?whn u had marriage problem? u can continue 2b like this n get angry.thn bcome like me n yew.d anger took our bond away for 7years.n ths time nvr return.so now on u dcide d road ahead.

JHPS: 4 de time being i need time 2 digest.

=========

Writing this, I don't mean to remember any sort of details which is happening at home now. I understand that, even if we are part of family; there are certain things that cannot be unified, because family values makes different meanings to every individuals.

I am writing this to remind myself, and to let you know; how important my family is to me. I don't grow up in a very big merry family. I only have dad, mom, bro, and aunt in my life when I was a kid. Whatever they said, or did...have been of greatest impact in molding this person I am today. Without them, what am I?

So at this age, when my family branches out -- Joyce's married so I have Wilson and Wayne. Bro's married and I have Carol. And later on, a few Ho's Jr to join in the bash.

I don't know how big will this family grow into. I just wish that every breath I have -- able to cherish all moments I have with them. I have missed so many magical happenings in the past out of ignorance, childishness and discontentment. I don't want to miss anything anymore.

That's why, your actions and words above hurts me very very deeply. I thought, without my presence at home, you would help me in taking good care of this family's harmony. You promised, that as long as we are together, that makes a family.

So c'mon dear. It's time to clear all your uncertainties away. Nothing, absolutely nothing can substitute the power of togetherness in a family. I loathes to see you sway away from this path.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

top corporate jokes @ work

1. Risk Identified: Human Error.
Mitigation: Enhance and add in detection by various people in the team.
Great. I already told you the problem is human error. And yet, you tell me that you want to add in more human control in the process. Are you dumb or something?

2. Business Continuity Plan a.k.a Disaster Recovery Plan.
You said: Let's do preventive management this year (giggles)
Great. If the disaster can be prevented, why even cares to build a business continuity plan? Since you are darn great and can hold a typhoon still, I shouldn't really fret if company could not survive a disaster, right? Wrong! Now, stop thinking with you bust.

3. Performing Risk Assessment on a big chunk of manual adjustment report. I categorize all adjustments all by myself, and then assess the risk. Great. Now am I not the riskiest person to the company now? Dumb people can't be resurrected.

4. "For your learning purpose. Not compulsory."
Great. So your message means that it is not compulsory to learn, or continue learning in this company. No wonder you never improved. Oppss...you know how to spell "improvement"?

5. "Vlookup formula is used to compare 2 sheets in an Excel file. I've seen people using it, but I don't know how to use it. So I expect you to learn, and do it for me (before I appear stupid in front of boss). Great. No further explanation needed, just refer to point no.4 above.

6. "I have looked in the course content but unable to identify which slides bl is asking. Please assist. Thanks." Great. Means you don't understand your boss, and you expect me to understand your boss. So, if I can really understand your boss, and able to please your boss better than you do -- What the fuck are you doing here in the first place? Go home and spend the rest of your life masturbating. At least you are doing something for a purpose, Big-O!

Urrrgghhh.....

Well, the fun about life is to know there will always be dumb and dumber people living a longer life than you!

Ahhhh......

Monday, July 19, 2010

Mom's memoire



This picture was taken way back in CNY 2007. Mom was mesmerized by the arrangement of the paper mannequin, as it fully reflects one of Grandpa's photo which he took when he was in younger days.

Grandpa was a teacher. Not just any ordinary teacher, Mom said; because he was most well known for his calligraphy at that time. He wrote many great characters, and once, a Minister took his calligraphy as a gift. As I was told.

I didn't have a chance to witness Grandpa in his limelight years of Chinese calligraphy. But this picture I posted, the background of which Mom stood...really reminds me of a picture I saw when I was a little kid. It was a black & white picture, Ah Kung was wearing a simple white tee, holding up a 毛笔(máo bǐ). His head down, writing something on a big piece of paper in the photo. He too, had a very big calligraphy with the word 神 (Shén) hanging on the wall. Oh yea, Grandpa was still wearing his favorite black thick rimmed spectacle in the picture....

So this is great. Two stories told in just one picture.

I wonder, if that day would come; what are the things that will make me remember SuperMom & SuperDad too? What are the simplest thing that would be engraved in my memories, and just like how Mom remembered Grandpa too?

Buddha, you knew I would be the luckiest kid, didn't you?

shopping therapy

It doesn't hurt to indulge in some crazy shopping spree once in awhile. That is my dad's philosophy. So, as a filial kid, I always do as he said.

So I went shopping today. Til I almost drop. I went out with Vivian Ng, and we both shopped and window shopped. We both landed with our favorite bags. I got mine at 1400bucks and hers at 790 bucks. But I think her's nicer. Czeh...~ the grass is always greener on the other side, no?

Other than that, we hit La Senza, Face Shop, Skin Food, Landmark, The Ramp, Mango, and nearly got into Hard Rock. But we saved Hard Rock for another GNO next time, maybe with more gals then.

Phew....it was exciting and challenging. My heart races whenever I stood next to the cashier. Transferring the currency to my own country's, it felt like Additional Maths exams again.

But the bag is heaven for me. I didn't really fret despite the price, because I could hear the bag whispering; take me home....take me home...

So there goes my shopping day. What a good therapy. And let's start counting days for my next pay check.

Friday, July 16, 2010

my first Mongo....~

Time Start 2306
Time Ends approx. 0030

I am making my first Mongo a.k.a red beans dessert here, at Easton Place, Makati City. Well not directly red bean only, cos I added in the green beans too. Mom says it's more soothing if the greens are added, and I love it for colors!

Apart from chrysanthemum tea and barley, never tried with any other dessert ever. I couldn't find those red & green beans until last week at Landmark Supermarket.

Yayyy ^oo^

**yenny loves desserts**

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

first typhoon 2010....

Greet Mabuhay! to Typhoon Conson (or known as Typhoon Basyang)anytime between 13th to 15th July 2010. It speeds in at approximately 120km/h and Metro Manila are expected to be affected by heavy rain, strong winds and minor floods.

Duhhh...who doesn't know typhoons bring rain, wind and flood?

I don't know. This typhoon doesn't sound as scary as Typhoon Pepeng which moved at 200++km/h but precautions must be taken too.

I was soaked in rain today, and it felt icy cold. Gosh, hope it won't develop into a cold. Better pump in my VitC soon....and lighting's at office & home today started blinking...on and off...feels like an alert that there might be short of electrical power soon. Planned to bring my jacket with hood to work everyday. Or else, camping in the office is required (again?!?!?)

What-ever gonna be. METTA to all. Especially to those residents at low land area. May God always be with you to give you safety, warmth and lotsa love. Amen.

Monday, July 12, 2010

World Cup 2010 -- Final

Okaysss...it is so difficult to wake up this morning. It feels that the full burden of WC stress is finally off-shoulder, and I just want to have my sweety dreamy sleep again. No more late nights, not anybody asks me what's the match tonight be about, no more betting and betting and losings and winnings...

Spain : Best Grammy Awards 2010
Spain players : Best Actors of the Year
Netherlands : Best Sour Face Awards 2010
Netherlands players : Nominated best person to eat-dead-cat
THE GAME : Boring. Slow. Waste of Time.

So, wonder if I'd still be couching in front of the TV in 2014 for another World Cup again.....~?

Monday, July 5, 2010

GrandPa & GrandMa

I'm suddenly thinking of my maternal grandparents while lazying on the bed. I was not extremely close to grandpa&ma, but they were my only "oldest" people in the family. Well, not really. I had a errrmmm....step-paternal-grandma who lived in Singapore, but we seldom get together. It was most probably once in a year. And the fondest memories I have with my granny were her *yummy* chicken stew...she loved Guinness and she never gets drunk...and she speaks in a funny accent.

Now, let's get back to my maternal grandpa&ma....they are much more closer to me in the heart. But not so close that they would hug me or play with me when I was a kid. They are just like SuperMom, very traditional and shy sometimes.

Mom would bring me to Gombak every Saturday morning when I was a kid. Dad will either fetch us there, or we would enjoy a Mini Bus ride from Central Market and take Bus No. 11 all the way to Gombak. A small, wooden kampung house where my grandpa&ma resided.

Mom would enjoy her best Kopi-O with grandma while chatting away, while grandpa would puff his favorite "curut" at the living room. Grandpa loved his Teh-O Kau...he drinks it everyday without fail. Then later in the evening, Mom Grandma and sometimes Bro will play Rummy...while I naughty around the house. Or grandpa will bring me out to the Chinese Ah-Pek Medicine Shop and buy my top fav Golden Grass Kia-Moy...金草酸莓...I can't find this snack anymore nowadays, grandpa...

The lesson I learned from Grandpa:
It was nearing August. As the country marks the patriotic month, there will be lots of planes, helicopters, what-so-ever making their routine training to prepare for the celebration day. One hot afternoon, I was sitting at the living room with Grandpa, when a roaming sound of planes (or jets?) zoomed over the sky. Grandpa quickly covered his ears with both hands, and gave me an irritated but worried expression. I told grandpa "Kung...nothing la, those malay p*gs (my ah-kung hates malays) are just training and preparing for merdeka maa....." and then my grandpa said "you know, last time during the war, it sounded exactly like this one too"....And then there was just silence....I was dumb-founded. I didn't know what else to say, because I knew he had seen so much more than me. I would never feel what he had really gone through....


GrandPa. I never had a chance to take a picture with Grandma...

This scene flashed through my mind a moment ago. It makes me wonder...there are certain memories in life that we can never opt to forget. Should there be so many chapters in life, grandpa would never forget those days when war was just under his nose. He could remember some scenes, some noises...some smell....so real as if it's happening again.

The mind is much greater than any processor, or memory disk, or what-da'hell IT advancement human is creating now. Only the human mind contain such ability to remember; and when it strikes you, it feels just like yesterday.

Me too, are haunted by certain memories in life. There are those happy moments, which I'm afraid to recall because knowing happiness makes the unhappy one(s) seemingly more painful than it is. And those bad encounters, as I said, could be so real when retrieved from my memories...it hurts just the same way it was.

I don't know if I would choose to erase all of them should I have the ability to do so. But if I forget, will you still remember me?

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Hachikō ... based on a true love story

I've just finished the movie Hachiko: A Dog's Story. I was crying much worse than I did for Marley & Me. It wasn't sadness that brings the flow, it was a sense of guiltiness and inadequacy....wondering why ignorant humans can't even be compared to the smallest portion of a dog's loyalty, love and passion.

I wasn't sad that Hachi's master passed away in a sudden. My heart didn't break knowing that despite his master's fate, Hachi decided to stay keep and wait at the train station. What makes me going weak was knowing that it took all 9 years for Hachi to wait....and only by the end of Hachi's breath, was Hachi able to meet with his master again. It took Hachi 9 damn years...but Hachi never gave up. Not a single day. Hachi never missed any trains that his master could possibly commuted. Hachi just waited...through thick and thin. That's Hachi's love.

What about You, humans? How long could you possibly wait for someone whom you said you've loved? 9 hours? 9 days? Human's experience told me 8 days. It only took 8 days of waiting at the train station to give up of love known for 6 years.

And God gave humans ability of speech, emotions, expressions...but God only gave Hachi the warmest four-legged gift.

And even though Hachi could not speak about love, Hachi took 9 years to prove the strongest bonds ever...just to show You what love really means...

Hachikō ... a tribute to man's best friend

Based on a true story from Japan, Hachikō : A Dog's Tale is a moving film about loyalty and the rare, invincible bonds that occasionally form almost instantaneously in the most unlikely places.

In the modern day, a class full of young students is giving oral presentations about personal heroes. A boy named Ronnie stands up and begins to tell of 'Hachikō ', his grandfather's dog. Years before, an Akita puppy is sent from Japan to America, but his cage falls off the baggage cart at an American train station, where he is found by college professor Parker Wilson (Richard Gere). Parker is instantly captivated by the dog and when Carl, the station controller, refuses to take him, Parker takes the puppy home overnight. His wife Cate (Joan Allen) is insistent about not keeping the puppy.

The next day Parker expects that someone will have contacted the train station, but no one has. He sneaks the pup onto the train and takes him to work, where a Japanese college professor, Ken, translates the symbol on the pup's collar as 'Hachi', Japanese for 'good fortune' and the number 8. Parker decides to call the dog 'Hachi'. Ken points out that perhaps the two are meant to be together. Parker attempts to play fetch with Hachi, but he refuses to join in, whilst Cate receives a call about someone wanting to adopt Hachi. However, after seeing how close her husband has come to Hachi, Cate agrees that they can keep him.

A few years later, Hachi and Parker are as close as ever. Parker however, is still mystified by Hachi's refusal to do normal, dog-like things like chase and retrieve balls. Ken advises him that Hachi will only bring him the ball for a special reason. One morning, Parker leaves for work and Hachi sneaks out and follows him to the train station, where he refuses to leave until Parker walks him home. That afternoon, Hachi sneaks out again and walks to the train station, waiting patiently for Parker's train to come in. Eventually Parker relents and walks Hachi to the station every morning, where he leaves on the train. Hachi leaves after Parker's safe departure, but comes back in the afternoon to see his master's train arrive and walk with him home again. This continues for some time, until one afternoon Parker attempts to leave, but Hachi refuses to go with him. Parker eventually leaves without him, but Hachi chases after him, holding his ball. Parker is surprised but pleased that Hachi is finally willing to play fetch with him but, worried he will be late, leaves on the train despite Hachi barking at him. At work that day, Parker, still holding Hachi's ball, is teaching his music class when he passes out from cardiac arrest.

At the train station, Hachi waits patiently as the train arrives, but there is no sign of Parker. He remains, lying in the snow, for several hours, until Parker's son-in-law Michael comes to collect him. The next day, Hachi returns to the station and waits, remaining all day and all night. As time passes, Cate sells the house and Hachi is sent to live with her daughter Andy, Michael, and their new baby Ronnie. However, at the first opportunity, he escapes and eventually finds his way back to his old house and then to the train station, where he sits at his usual spot, eating hot dogs given to him by Jas, a local vendor. Andy arrives soon after and takes him home, but lets him out the next day to return to the station.

Hachi begins sleeping under a broken train carriage, keeping vigil during the day and surviving off food and water given to him by Jas and the local butcher. One day, a man named Teddy, a newspaper reporter, enquires about Hachi and asks if he can write a story about him. People begin to send money to Carl to buy Hachi food. Ken, Parker's friend, reads the article, and offers to pay for Hachi's upkeep. He realizes that although it has been a year, Hachi wants to, and has to, wait for his master, and wishes him a long life.

Years pass, and still Hachi waits. Cate visits Parker's grave, where she meets Ken, and she says that even though it has been a decade, she still misses him. Arriving at the station, she is stunned to see Hachi, old, dirty and weak, still maintaining his vigil. Overcome, Cate sits and waits for the next train with him. At home, Cate tells the now ten-year-old Ronnie about Hachi. That night, Hachi makes his way to his usual spot, where he lies down and falls asleep for the last time, dreaming of Parker, where his spirit get along with Hachi, as they both ascend to heaven.

Ronnie, back in his classroom, finishes his report, telling his classmates that Hachi, for his love and loyalty, will forever be his hero. That afternoon, he walks his own Akita puppy named Hachi along the same track his grandfather once walked with his own Hachi.



The real Hachiko was born in Odate Japan in 1923. When his master, Dr Hidesaburō Ueno, a professor at the Tokyo University, died in May, 1925, Hachi returned to the Shibuya train station the next day, and for the next nine years, to wait. Hachiko died in March, 1934. Today, a bronze statue of Hachiko sits in his waiting spot outside the Shibuya railroad station.

Source: wikipedia.org