My second proudest achievement (well, I have to call it achievement when time is really running out) in my 2-weeks journey at home is ....tang-tang-tang-tang.....having most of my extra time with Sherine Chin Oi Lian (dunno why like to call her full name).
Yea, searched through my camera; no pictures taken with her during those outing. No problem, can't possibly forget her curl lashes and pinkish apple cheeks. Muacks.
It sounded as if some regular talks. But hell no. You won't see or hear anything similar happening to me without her presence. I don't talk to anyone else the same way I talked to her. It's not just plain chemical between us. It's working like magic. Some kinda strong powerful potion that a white witch have spelled on us, and created bonds that real sister might not even have...it's like love without sex! (yes...stop laughing.. =.= )
I don't know how the topic flowed, but I was finding a confidante in her by digging some of my old darkest secrets -- and revealed to her naturally. Not that I have planned to hide it from her before, but maybe some stuffs which I thought I have swept under the carpet.
I told her how much I hate his family. This is certainly my red button, because I can't believe it myself. Just like the vulnerable side of me whom afraid of crying in public...I thought I have engraved the thoughts of hatred somewhere in a black hole.
I told Darl' how much I hated his family, and why they have made me so so so mad at them. As more I speak, I feel much lighter. I feel like slightly brand new, because Darl told me not to feel bad of hating them. Less sense of guiltiness drowned me when Darl told me that it is very natural for me to hate them, and if Darl would have encountered the same thing, wishing them all dead is not entirely wrong too.
I am not saying that Darl is supporting my voodoo thoughts. I am declaring that Darl would always have this charisma and charm to lead me into becoming a person that I should really am. After so long surviving on a foreigner's land, I feel that I can be true to someone I call my --- best best closest darling sister.
Yea, it felt great after that simple yet close to heart conversation with her. I don't know what else can I say -- except telling her YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!!!!!!!!!
Don't you dare leaving this relationship as long as I'm still alive.
Love you and I am blessed to have known you.
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I'm blessed to have known you too. You know what? At this very particular moment, I missed talking to you so much that I cried. Ya ya...we skype all day during work but having you around physically, it's just so different.
ReplyDeleteI love you just as much that's why I'm hurt to see you so hurt. Even the thought of you having to face that 'situation' made my heartache. Because I put myself in your shoes. Honestly, I would react the same either. Hell...I know to hate is not good. But so what? We are humans after all, we do have feelings. It's just a natural feeling when something as bad as that happens. I'm getting angry even at the mention of it. We are not saint. Do you think everybody can really forgive and forget when things like that has made an impact in life? Even my stuffs, I can tell you, I can forgive because I'm living a happier life now but I'll never forget.
And previously I really have no idea after all why you can't make this relationship blossom with him since you can forgive him. But little did I know of the story behind. And putting the puzzles together now made me realized it's really a big sacrifice for you to make. And honestly at this very moment if supermum and superdad can do without you, I'll ask you to stay behind in Makati, because I know that's where your heart truly belongs and wanted. But I know things are not that way since a decision has been made. I can only support and be strong for you and tell you to leave it at the hands of God. Whatever will be, will be.
Cry, if you feel like to. Cry, if it makes you feel better. Cry, if you wish to tell him you love him. For I think being able to cherish your love ones is the most meaningful thing in life.
And, I promise I'll never leave this relationship with you, sis, of course, if I die first....
Love you.
No words can better describe anything...let's teddy hugs!
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