"I am having problems to solve their problems" says the Claims Officer
"There is a mechanical consideration to solve this interpersonal issue within my team" says the Software Engineer.
"My loading authorities are stopping my abilities to underwrite excess" says the Underwriter
Walao, I had such challenging conversations with high tantric people just on Monday morning. I reckon time will pass very quickly this week, because of all these unbelievable people with indisputable thoughts.
Gawd, save my weary soul !!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
let's talk about.....
没那么简单 就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听一听
自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发里
My little nest may not be ready so soon. I did let out a little sigh, feeling a rush of disbelief that apart from waiting it is still waiting. And right in the middle of exhaling my bubble thoughts, this song came to my player. And when it comes to the phase 一杯红酒配电影 在周末晚上关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发里 I think happiness may not be too far away because I know I am already working on it. I can already imagine my mystical purple theme living room, dim yellow downlights and this certain scent that soothes my breathing scheme. I don't know what scent it is, I am still looking for a name to it. Don't ask me why sometimes I would steal some sniff over body odor, because I think the most natural scent is individualistic. I am always looking for a scent that only belongs to someone, and that is ultimatum. Weird? Hmmm I am not sure. But I didn't care.
And I am growing more fondness to chilling red, because I like the after taste of it. I don't get the wine glass rolling on the table, nor I smell the red as if I know what different smell they have. I don't even get it when people need to swirl the red in the glass, what do they see? I don't know red too well, but I love red. I love the lingering mystery it brings to the emotion, unlike other wine that brings me to a foreign place. YES, I got it. Red brings me home. That's the feeling.
But I still want to have a little mojito when it is burning hot, like now. Refreshing.
Okay I am getting a little disorientated now. Was I talking about the house, the red, or the little naughty mojito that keeps reminding me -- about...........
hmmmmmmmm..........
Sunetra @live
I want to sincerely thank Sherine Chin for all these years. Not only today, but especially today. You have been such a darling throughout the years, and superbly sweet today. You have witnessed one of the most important moment of my life, a permanent moment. Thanks for being here, and did such heartwarming sisterly activity with me today. Just the two of us, and you have seen Sunetra, @live.
Sunetra : Alluring looks, appealing eyes.
But this is not the essence. It means alot, because this is my Buddhist name given by Rev K Sri Dhammananda when I take refuge in the Triple Gems. A name I carry forever, true flesh and blood.
Artenus. Means nothing. Just the reverse of sunetra but ain't it sounded more chic! Lols
More to share about Sunetra @live when i am more ready. Now, it is my personal time of reminiscence.
Sunetra : Alluring looks, appealing eyes.
But this is not the essence. It means alot, because this is my Buddhist name given by Rev K Sri Dhammananda when I take refuge in the Triple Gems. A name I carry forever, true flesh and blood.
Artenus. Means nothing. Just the reverse of sunetra but ain't it sounded more chic! Lols
More to share about Sunetra @live when i am more ready. Now, it is my personal time of reminiscence.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
The Preface
This blog is not for anyone to stipulate any baseless understanding you have about me. Don’t make assumptions because you are comfortable implying your personal thoughts to a separate entity. Don’t create a shadow and paint it with your own colors.
Memoirs of that long lost myth
Our daily events are built up from various experiences we have in life. Those experiences slowly accumulate to make a history, beholding our past actions. Those past actions depict one’s karma; where the causes and effects directly touch your daily life experiences again. This cycle goes round and round, and this memoir eventually settles in.
This is my land of unspoken words. This is an open space for all my thoughts and abilities for expression. There is no hidden terms and conditions, because every drop of lexis denotes all my purest feelings. This is my handmade myths, such stories collectively.
It is all about encoding and decoding. The happiest moment alive is when communication take-off in the most authentic wavelength.
Memoirs of that long lost myth
Our daily events are built up from various experiences we have in life. Those experiences slowly accumulate to make a history, beholding our past actions. Those past actions depict one’s karma; where the causes and effects directly touch your daily life experiences again. This cycle goes round and round, and this memoir eventually settles in.
This is my land of unspoken words. This is an open space for all my thoughts and abilities for expression. There is no hidden terms and conditions, because every drop of lexis denotes all my purest feelings. This is my handmade myths, such stories collectively.
It is all about encoding and decoding. The happiest moment alive is when communication take-off in the most authentic wavelength.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
yours sincerely !
Ginseng honey and sore-throat medicine, all the way to my working place. These are not things you think I'd get out of a convenience store. Those are indications that I've been truly blessed and grateful for.
Appreciation is heartfelt gratitude. It is a sign of knowing a mystical dimension where true feelings reign.
I am truly thankful to have you, Ron.
Appreciation is heartfelt gratitude. It is a sign of knowing a mystical dimension where true feelings reign.
I am truly thankful to have you, Ron.
Monday, November 12, 2012
11.11.2012
The buddies are giggling over some steamy issue they did yesterday. And I was like... -.- and what kind of drama am I missing here? Hey I am not letting them freezing me with some indispensable topics uptown!
Ok Ok....so it was a double 11 yesterday...or double double 1...or they call it the perfect 1-1 ? Huh, did I see some soccer score here??.....I love my mojito...!! hey hunk, mind to serve me that house red as well...? This place is too comfortable to talk numbers, not?
Copy & Paste an edited note I wrote in year 2009.11.11. I think I am a psychic. I already know 11.11 will make a special date way back in 2009...
Today is 11th November 2009....denotes 11.11. Let's see what perspective I have on this date...I was busy adjusting gaming odds today when I suddenly told my team mate that we have a very special date today. 11.11 And such, I began to imagine could there be anything special happening to me after work. Things like, a handsome guy come up to me and ask me for a date, or a special pre-arranged outing with friends, or even maybe, I mean just maybe, I'll meet with that cute Eurasian bloke that lives at 11th Floor somewhere at the lobby and he says hi to me!
Well, well...all the above ---- did not happen. The number 1 means alone for singles, and therefore a lonely me today.....
Buckle up, sleep early la, day dreamer....
Geez, was THAT bad in year 2009...?? Awww...do I sound like a boring freak?? There wasn't any write-up about 10.10.2010 cos I couldn't find any in my blog. Maybe the same happened, the "day" just passed without me knowing. Or maybe I am not born romantic. OR maybe there is no one enhancing the essence of need to celebrate any special date for a special reason.
Like today, if I can just raise my glass and says cheers to the perfect red I am holding...who gives a darn if it is any repeated numbered date or year? Don't you think it is the nature of feelings that counts rather than any other 24 hours that you and I share equally? Ok, I am sure those rose sellers or gifts shops are cursing me back there because now I can see some girls chirping happily over flowers that is supposed to still bloom after a week from today.
Darlings, impermenance! Just like those flowers! That bunch is an indicator telling you, beauties don't last. But lovely memories do stay. And happiness do evolve. Contentment from trust, faith and good vibe sharing. This should happen everyday, not only 11.11 or somewhat~
Geez, they must think I was very dry. No one is enjoying my mindfulness here. They say I am such a turn-off tonight. But not...I was just trying to make sense. Okay, buddies. I'd follow the conversation about 12.12.2012. This is even more heated, right? If I did forgot, will you remind me and we will all sit here again together? What? I went to the wrong channel again??
hmmmppphhh....fine. That hunk is walking towards me holding my second serving. BLEK! and before I down that bon vin...I miss 小Ron子. Cheers!
Ok Ok....so it was a double 11 yesterday...or double double 1...or they call it the perfect 1-1 ? Huh, did I see some soccer score here??.....I love my mojito...!! hey hunk, mind to serve me that house red as well...? This place is too comfortable to talk numbers, not?
Copy & Paste an edited note I wrote in year 2009.11.11. I think I am a psychic. I already know 11.11 will make a special date way back in 2009...
Today is 11th November 2009....denotes 11.11. Let's see what perspective I have on this date...I was busy adjusting gaming odds today when I suddenly told my team mate that we have a very special date today. 11.11 And such, I began to imagine could there be anything special happening to me after work. Things like, a handsome guy come up to me and ask me for a date, or a special pre-arranged outing with friends, or even maybe, I mean just maybe, I'll meet with that cute Eurasian bloke that lives at 11th Floor somewhere at the lobby and he says hi to me!
Well, well...all the above ---- did not happen. The number 1 means alone for singles, and therefore a lonely me today.....
Buckle up, sleep early la, day dreamer....
Geez, was THAT bad in year 2009...?? Awww...do I sound like a boring freak?? There wasn't any write-up about 10.10.2010 cos I couldn't find any in my blog. Maybe the same happened, the "day" just passed without me knowing. Or maybe I am not born romantic. OR maybe there is no one enhancing the essence of need to celebrate any special date for a special reason.
Like today, if I can just raise my glass and says cheers to the perfect red I am holding...who gives a darn if it is any repeated numbered date or year? Don't you think it is the nature of feelings that counts rather than any other 24 hours that you and I share equally? Ok, I am sure those rose sellers or gifts shops are cursing me back there because now I can see some girls chirping happily over flowers that is supposed to still bloom after a week from today.
Darlings, impermenance! Just like those flowers! That bunch is an indicator telling you, beauties don't last. But lovely memories do stay. And happiness do evolve. Contentment from trust, faith and good vibe sharing. This should happen everyday, not only 11.11 or somewhat~
Geez, they must think I was very dry. No one is enjoying my mindfulness here. They say I am such a turn-off tonight. But not...I was just trying to make sense. Okay, buddies. I'd follow the conversation about 12.12.2012. This is even more heated, right? If I did forgot, will you remind me and we will all sit here again together? What? I went to the wrong channel again??
hmmmppphhh....fine. That hunk is walking towards me holding my second serving. BLEK! and before I down that bon vin...I miss 小Ron子. Cheers!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Way back into Life
Namo Guru-beh. Namo Buddha-ya. Namo Dhamma-ya. Namo Sangha-ya.
I take refuge in the Guru. I take refuge in the Buddha. I take refuge in the Dhamma. I take refuge in the Sangha.
Sadhu.Sadhu.Sadhu.
I was brought up in a Mahayana teachings environment; mom would recite her Da Bei Zhou every morning. I woke up to the echoing sound of the mantra, but I didn’t have any more second thoughts to it. I grew up remembering fondly of the teachings dad passes on to me, which I think until today, a definite Way of Living in Buddhism. I’ve learned when I was a kid, which daddy taught me, that we are all living Buddha. We are all precious stones within, either unpolished or waiting to be. Or we could even resemble ourselves like the lotus, blooming gracefully amidst the musky pond. Frankly, I didn’t think that far ahead of me when I was that wimpy kid. I just think, there must be a reason for all things to fall in place, and if I am not rejoicing life at certain moments; that’s karma calling. And I was always asking a lot of ‘why’…’why’…’why’….
My best Buddhist moments came when I was a teenager; when I was submitted into Buddhist Institute Sunday Dhamma School (BISDS) Sayonara Camp. It was Sayonara Camp because it was year-end camp, and we are supposed to learn saying goodbye to our short lived defilements and desires. It was pure magical, when I met with K Sri Dhammananda. When K Sri Dhammaratana came to our camp and gave talks. When we had to wake up wee hours in the morning for puja but we were all fresh and alert. Those were the days. One of those moments I’d love to remember forever, because that is when I took my first step in embracing Theravada Buddhism. I was named Sunetra, and forever will be.
And then, I came to believe Buddhism is naturally scientific. It is naturally tailored to our daily lives and Dhamma is everywhere around us. I don’t go to the temple or the museum to look for Dhamma, I just need to look within, inwardly. And scientifically straightforward where questions are answered in a structured way, directly truthful. Or maybe there is more to this, I have yet to discover.
And you’d think I must be religiously contented now, with that ring on top of my head? No. I was lost in transition, for quite some years. Well, I am still very much a Buddhist within, but I couldn’t care less to progress. I entered into that comfortable zone to only practice the fundamentals and kept myself wrapped in that status. Once awhile when I had questions popped in my weary mind, I’d shove it off because I felt I already had too many ‘why’ in other areas. I don’t want to think. Not any further. And all these ignorance only prove that, I am not living the Buddhism life. I am allowing myself to lack behind.
And I am blessed yet again yesterday. There must be some tinee-winee merits I’ve accumulated and shared at sometime, and soon good karma leads me to Tibetan Buddhism. Kechara. The Buddha’s field of Vajrayogini. It was Awe-some. And apart from feeling ecstatically blessed to cross path with Buddhism again, the ‘why’ are all coming back to me. I had so many thoughts in my mind, and when I was toured around the premise I couldn’t stop thinking. There were mixed emotions over-pouring like nervousness, excitement and curiosity. Okay, that three ingredients sounds odd if mixed together, and gawd knows I was equally amazed. It was a moment of contemplation – knowing I’m home to Buddhism again but yet poignant to know I was lost before this.
I don’t know what this encounter would bring to me in near future. But I am eager to re-discover if I am fated to. About fate, Buddhism had brought someone to me and I hoped this is a true blessing. I believe this is an exquisite blessing.
I take refuge in the Guru. I take refuge in the Buddha. I take refuge in the Dhamma. I take refuge in the Sangha.
Sadhu.Sadhu.Sadhu.
I was brought up in a Mahayana teachings environment; mom would recite her Da Bei Zhou every morning. I woke up to the echoing sound of the mantra, but I didn’t have any more second thoughts to it. I grew up remembering fondly of the teachings dad passes on to me, which I think until today, a definite Way of Living in Buddhism. I’ve learned when I was a kid, which daddy taught me, that we are all living Buddha. We are all precious stones within, either unpolished or waiting to be. Or we could even resemble ourselves like the lotus, blooming gracefully amidst the musky pond. Frankly, I didn’t think that far ahead of me when I was that wimpy kid. I just think, there must be a reason for all things to fall in place, and if I am not rejoicing life at certain moments; that’s karma calling. And I was always asking a lot of ‘why’…’why’…’why’….
My best Buddhist moments came when I was a teenager; when I was submitted into Buddhist Institute Sunday Dhamma School (BISDS) Sayonara Camp. It was Sayonara Camp because it was year-end camp, and we are supposed to learn saying goodbye to our short lived defilements and desires. It was pure magical, when I met with K Sri Dhammananda. When K Sri Dhammaratana came to our camp and gave talks. When we had to wake up wee hours in the morning for puja but we were all fresh and alert. Those were the days. One of those moments I’d love to remember forever, because that is when I took my first step in embracing Theravada Buddhism. I was named Sunetra, and forever will be.
And then, I came to believe Buddhism is naturally scientific. It is naturally tailored to our daily lives and Dhamma is everywhere around us. I don’t go to the temple or the museum to look for Dhamma, I just need to look within, inwardly. And scientifically straightforward where questions are answered in a structured way, directly truthful. Or maybe there is more to this, I have yet to discover.
And you’d think I must be religiously contented now, with that ring on top of my head? No. I was lost in transition, for quite some years. Well, I am still very much a Buddhist within, but I couldn’t care less to progress. I entered into that comfortable zone to only practice the fundamentals and kept myself wrapped in that status. Once awhile when I had questions popped in my weary mind, I’d shove it off because I felt I already had too many ‘why’ in other areas. I don’t want to think. Not any further. And all these ignorance only prove that, I am not living the Buddhism life. I am allowing myself to lack behind.
And I am blessed yet again yesterday. There must be some tinee-winee merits I’ve accumulated and shared at sometime, and soon good karma leads me to Tibetan Buddhism. Kechara. The Buddha’s field of Vajrayogini. It was Awe-some. And apart from feeling ecstatically blessed to cross path with Buddhism again, the ‘why’ are all coming back to me. I had so many thoughts in my mind, and when I was toured around the premise I couldn’t stop thinking. There were mixed emotions over-pouring like nervousness, excitement and curiosity. Okay, that three ingredients sounds odd if mixed together, and gawd knows I was equally amazed. It was a moment of contemplation – knowing I’m home to Buddhism again but yet poignant to know I was lost before this.
I don’t know what this encounter would bring to me in near future. But I am eager to re-discover if I am fated to. About fate, Buddhism had brought someone to me and I hoped this is a true blessing. I believe this is an exquisite blessing.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Proud announcer !
It was extreme hectic 2-days battle at work. 430am. 830pm. Okay, I made escape around 7-ish but that was already tremendous tiredness. Mind you, I woke up at 3-ish. Or did I sleep after all?
I crawled out a bit from the working cave today. So I finally got time to respond to a group whatsapp chat that I've silenced earlier.
Group chat topic. I've Got Her!! by an overly excited homosapien on earth. Just because he got the girl he wanted very much (and well of course head over heels with) and succeeded after a few dangerous stunt attempts. Well not stunts, but maybe dangerous. Cos if she said no, I'd worry he would commit suicide. Or try to die and it will be another agenda at Whatsapp.
No doubt, I was very happy for him. In fact, never seen or heard him so serious over a risky investment ( he said it, not me). At least, he raised my brows for being serious once. Good charisma. Or maybe it was fruitful because he was serious. I remembered that girl he hit at Xmas, it ended before CNY! Hmmm... That's risky investment.
And so, my last message to him moments ago... It's easy to get a girl, but only real man is able to keep a girl ! And he replied.. Ok yen babe, will keep into fridge's freezer. 4eva fresh n tingling cold! Yeah, dat was crap cos I'm into her. U worry me too much. Save $ for wedding gift! ....
Omg,,guys never change. Joker this fella.
Okay, Bro. I know you come to Memoir sometimes (during your M moments right, jerk :P).
I was trying to say, it's easy to start a relationship. I want to see you maintaining it this time. A guy she truly deserve is someone enjoying the process of maintaining the relationship.
You can. I know. And you will still be our dearest jerk-ass!!
I crawled out a bit from the working cave today. So I finally got time to respond to a group whatsapp chat that I've silenced earlier.
Group chat topic. I've Got Her!! by an overly excited homosapien on earth. Just because he got the girl he wanted very much (and well of course head over heels with) and succeeded after a few dangerous stunt attempts. Well not stunts, but maybe dangerous. Cos if she said no, I'd worry he would commit suicide. Or try to die and it will be another agenda at Whatsapp.
No doubt, I was very happy for him. In fact, never seen or heard him so serious over a risky investment ( he said it, not me). At least, he raised my brows for being serious once. Good charisma. Or maybe it was fruitful because he was serious. I remembered that girl he hit at Xmas, it ended before CNY! Hmmm... That's risky investment.
And so, my last message to him moments ago... It's easy to get a girl, but only real man is able to keep a girl ! And he replied.. Ok yen babe, will keep into fridge's freezer. 4eva fresh n tingling cold! Yeah, dat was crap cos I'm into her. U worry me too much. Save $ for wedding gift! ....
Omg,,guys never change. Joker this fella.
Okay, Bro. I know you come to Memoir sometimes (during your M moments right, jerk :P).
I was trying to say, it's easy to start a relationship. I want to see you maintaining it this time. A guy she truly deserve is someone enjoying the process of maintaining the relationship.
You can. I know. And you will still be our dearest jerk-ass!!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Encoding and Decoded.
Happiness today. 20121104. Yes, this is about YOU!
Leo, I hope you are with me (us) at this moment. Do you remember when I came back from Makati, and there was so much happiness when I'm with you? It's the same kind of happiness today, and even more--something I've kept aside for awhile. And when I'm least anticipating, it comes right to me. And just feel all right about it. Leo, you must have been watching me very closely and I believe your every thoughts have been so mesmerizing that made my day, today.
Even though it feels a bit weird, but it's definitely right. There is no perfect moment. Just the right moment.
Leo, I hope you are with me (us) at this moment. Do you remember when I came back from Makati, and there was so much happiness when I'm with you? It's the same kind of happiness today, and even more--something I've kept aside for awhile. And when I'm least anticipating, it comes right to me. And just feel all right about it. Leo, you must have been watching me very closely and I believe your every thoughts have been so mesmerizing that made my day, today.
Even though it feels a bit weird, but it's definitely right. There is no perfect moment. Just the right moment.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Courtesy reminder for a courteous life
It's pouring again tonight. Rainy season it may seem, but this a great time to rain. Because I am finally settling in for some self contemplation again. The rain didn't just start yesterday, but only tonight I think I'm ready again.
There is no perfect moment. Just the right moment.
I want reality to knock on me more often. No, I wasn't locked up in some kind of weird mansion waiting for prince charming. I'm not a princess and I don't want to be. I am real, genuinely not a fairytale fan.
I am just ordinary. Real ordinary out of ordinaries. I came from a small family, not extremely rich but not poor enough to suffer. Ordinary. I didn't grow up super naughty but definitely not that noob geek next door. Ordinary. I didn't date for trillion times in my blossoming age, but I rode on good game of love roller-coaster. Ordinary. I am not that smart ass above career ladders but I think my earnings are compatible to my contributions. Ordinary.
So? I'm not here to prove I'm ordinary either. I am afraid that things have been so-so all these years because I was never told the truth. That ugly truth.
I don't want anymore 'you will be fine' or 'things are not that bad' and 'alright okies dokies'. And just when you turn your back you'd give a sly smile and say... Look at this loser. She thinks God must be spending more time on her??
Yes. You can come up to me and tell me I am a jackass. Or say I didn't spend enough time for caring moments. Or you are so fed up with my opinion-less nonsense. Throw me a tantrum because I didn't know how to express myself. Or give me a wake up slap because I didn't know you loved and care.
Give me a knock knock on my conscious.
I just want a true courtesy reminder. I was lost, because all of you have hidden me somewhere very very comfortable. I was delighting those moments for so long, that I am numb of any more affections. Tell me that I am imperfect, and I deserve another chance to wrong again. I can be crazy trying to love again, and if I really did fall nuts over it, at least I've loved.
Just a true courtesy reminder. Naturally. Beautifully.
There is no perfect moment. Just the right moment.
I want reality to knock on me more often. No, I wasn't locked up in some kind of weird mansion waiting for prince charming. I'm not a princess and I don't want to be. I am real, genuinely not a fairytale fan.
I am just ordinary. Real ordinary out of ordinaries. I came from a small family, not extremely rich but not poor enough to suffer. Ordinary. I didn't grow up super naughty but definitely not that noob geek next door. Ordinary. I didn't date for trillion times in my blossoming age, but I rode on good game of love roller-coaster. Ordinary. I am not that smart ass above career ladders but I think my earnings are compatible to my contributions. Ordinary.
So? I'm not here to prove I'm ordinary either. I am afraid that things have been so-so all these years because I was never told the truth. That ugly truth.
I don't want anymore 'you will be fine' or 'things are not that bad' and 'alright okies dokies'. And just when you turn your back you'd give a sly smile and say... Look at this loser. She thinks God must be spending more time on her??
Yes. You can come up to me and tell me I am a jackass. Or say I didn't spend enough time for caring moments. Or you are so fed up with my opinion-less nonsense. Throw me a tantrum because I didn't know how to express myself. Or give me a wake up slap because I didn't know you loved and care.
Give me a knock knock on my conscious.
I just want a true courtesy reminder. I was lost, because all of you have hidden me somewhere very very comfortable. I was delighting those moments for so long, that I am numb of any more affections. Tell me that I am imperfect, and I deserve another chance to wrong again. I can be crazy trying to love again, and if I really did fall nuts over it, at least I've loved.
Just a true courtesy reminder. Naturally. Beautifully.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
