Sunday, August 30, 2009

My silence remains...

"Do you have anything to tell me..? but I'm not listening...."

While I was busy thinking if I have communicative problems, a reflective question sparked my mind as "why God would create humans with two ears, but only one mouth?" Could there be a simple message brought to us that we should never talk more than what we can understand? Or, would God had guessed that human will evolve to be so inattentive that we should be prearranged with two ears (instead of one) to at least listen more carefully of others?

Let's have some insights of the respectful Namo Kuan Yin Pu-Sa - bestowed with thousands hands to help human's sufferings; and thousands eyes to keep us in her close proximity and care for our substances. It was not highlighted (as to my knowing) that she has thousands ears. Does it means that it is always nearer to the truth of what our eyes may see, but never really believe of what we may hear?

I remembered a movie quoted as saying, "Never look with your bare eyes, but see within your heart..."

After so much babbling in respective to human creations, God's decisions, Bodhisattva's compassion.........may I conclude that I'm very regretful and shameful of myself that I have not learned to stand-up, chest-up, and speak-up after 27 years of struggling in this rat race.

I'm particularly weak & fragile in telling others that I'm so dissatisfied with something and I demand an adjustment from the current situation - so that I can become happier. Whenever the thought of "so that I can become happier" crosses my mind, I would be so afraid to speak further because I do not want others to think of me as selfish, childish or simply inconsiderate. I have no idea who downloads these type of introvert attitude in me, but honestly this is who I am. But any other than that area, I am
undoubtedly extrovert. Gosh, what a two-face bitch, am I...?

This scary feeling of not able to speak-up particularly started when I know that people are not really listening even if they pretend to care that something is bothering you. Well, listening and hearing is totally different. I may hear what you say, but I'm not listening and therefore whatever you say does not affect any of my current well-being. Hmm....sigh.....that's why I might as well save some energy and think what I can do to improve my own aura, and in a way helps to refrain your further pretend-to-listen soap opera.

Win-win situation, eh...


Monday, August 24, 2009

The Chant of Metta ~ with love

Metta is a Pali word meaning loving-kindness. Metta chanting is the radiation of loving-kindness towards all beings: May they all be happy and peaceful. Imee Ooi chants the Pali beautifully. Metta chanting is soothing, uplifting, joyful and a great healing for the world - pervading it with waves of love. Truly, may all beings be happy. May they live always in peace and harmony.

The Chant of Metta

Aham avero homi
May I be free from enmity and danger

abyapajjho homi
May I be free from mental suffering

anigha homi
May I be free from physical suffering

sukhi - attanam pariharami
May I take care of myself happily

Mama matapitu
May my parents

acariya ca natimitta ca
teacher relatives and friends

sabrahma - carino ca
fellow Dhamma farers

avera hontu
be free from enmity and danger

abyapajjha hontu
be free from mental suffering

anigha hontu
be free from physical suffering

sukhi - attanam pariharantu
may they take care of themselves happily

Imasmim arame sabbe yogino
May all meditators in this compound

avera hontu
be free from enmity and danger

abyapajjha hontu
be free from mental suffering

anigha hontu
be free from physical suffering

sukhi - attanam pariharantu
May they take care of themselves happily

Imasmim arame sabbe bhikkhu
May all monks in this compound

samanera ca
novice monks

upasaka - upasikaya ca
laymen and laywomen disciples

avera hontu
be free from enmity and danger

abyapajjha hontu
be free from mental suffering

anigha hontu
be free from physical suffering

sukhi - attanam pariharantu
May they take care of themselves happily

Amhakam catupaccaya - dayaka
May our donors of the four supports: clothing, food, medicine and lodging

avera hontu
be free from enmity and danger

abyapajjha hontu
be free from mental suffering

anigha hontu
be free from physical suffering

sukhi - attanam pariharantu
May they take care of themselves happily

Amhakam arakkha devata
May our guardian devas

Ismasmim vihare
in this monastery

Ismasmim avase
in this dwelling

Ismasmim arame
in this compound

arakkha devata
May the guardian devas

avera hontu
be free from enmity and danger

abyapajjha hontu
be free from mental suffering

anigha hontu
be free from physical suffering

sukhi - attanam pariharantu
may they take care of themselves happily

Sabbe satta
May all beings

sabbe pana
all breathing things

sabbe bhutta
all creatures

sabbe puggala
all individuals (all beings)

sabbe attabhava - pariyapanna
all personalities (all beings with mind and body)

sabbe itthoyo
may all females

sabbe purisa
all males

sabbe ariya
all noble ones (saints)

sabbe anariya
all worldlings (those yet to attain sainthood)

sabbe deva
all devas (deities)

sabbe manussa
all humans

sabbe vinipatika
all those in the four woeful planes

avera hontu
be free from enmity and dangers

abyapajjha hontu
be free from mental suffering

anigha hontu
be free from physical suffering
sukhi - attanam pariharantu
may they take care of themselves happily

Dukkha muccantu
May all being be free from suffering

Yattha-laddha-sampattito mavigacchantu
May whatever they have gained not be lost

Kammassaka
All beings are owners of their own Kamma

Purathimaya disaya
in the eastern direction

pacchimaya disaya
in the western direction

uttara disaya
in the northern direction

dakkhinaya disaya
in the southern direction

purathimaya anudisaya
in the southeast direction

pacchimaya anudisaya
in the northwest direction

uttara anudisaya
in the northeast direction

dakkhinaya anudisaya
in the southwest direction

hetthimaya disaya
in the direction below

uparimaya disaya
in the direction above

Sabbe satta
May all beings

sabbe pana
all breathing things

sabbe bhutta
all creatures

sabbe puggala
all individuals (all beings)

sabbe attabhava - pariyapanna
all personalities (all beings with mind and body)

sabbe itthoyo
may all females

sabbe purisa
all males

sabbe ariya
all noble ones (saints)

sabbe anariya
(those yet to attain sainthood)

sabbe deva
all devas (deities)

sabbe manussa
all humans

sabbe vinipatika
all those in the 4 woeful planes

avera hontu
be free from enmity and dangers

abyapajjha hontu
be free from mental suffering

anigha hontu
be free from physical suffering

sukhi - attanam pariharantu
may they take care of themselves happily

Dukkha muccantu
May all beings be free from suffering

Yattha-laddha-sampattito mavigacchantu
May whatever they have gained not be lost

Kammassaka
All beings are owners of their own kamma

Uddham yava bhavagga ca
As far as the highest plane of existence

adho yava aviccito
to as far down as the lowest plane

samanta cakkavalesu
in the entire universe

ye satta pathavicara
whatever beings that move on earth

abyapajjha nivera ca
may they are free of mental suffering and enmity

nidukkha ca nupaddava
and from physical suffering and danger

Uddham yava bhavagga ca
As far as the highest plane of existence

adho yava aviccito
to as far down as the lowest plane

samanta cakkavalesu
in the entire universe

ye satta udakecara
whatever beings that move on water

abyapajjha nivera ca
may they are free of mental suffering and enmity

nidukkha ca nupaddava
and from physical suffering and danger

Uddham yava bhavagga ca
As far as the highest plane of existence

adho yava aviccito
to as far down as the lowest plane

samanta cakkavalesu
in the entire universe

ye satta akasecara
whatever beings that move in air

abyapajjha nivera ca
may they are free of mental suffering and enmity

nidukkha ca nupaddava
and from physical suffering and danger.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

~SunDay~is boring @ Makati....

12:35, Sunday 23 Aug................

The weather is crudely hot today. All housemates are at home, basically not motivated to go anywhere. Each of us making love with our respective laptops, I'm even chatting with my housemate through MSN while seated next to her on a sofa. Ironic huh...

Someone mentioned about going to the Chinatown today. But the organizer is still sleeping like nobody's business.

So, not knowing what to do, better continue to stick my ass on the sofa and repeat all the unbelievable chats with some unbelievable people....

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My life enriched...

I was browsing through Facebook. No friends online, nothing much interesting posted by buddies...I was particularly -boring-

Not knowing what to do, I clicked on my own Photo Album at Facebook (which I've never thought I would do that for myself!). As the pictures flipped through with all sorts of smiling faces surrounding me ~ how am I to express my true thankfulness to God for painting my life with so much valuable thoughts and beliefs all these years....?

Starting with MAA Berhad 2006 - 2009: This is the most important turning point in my career path. Almost performing like a Ferrari attached with a typical V-tech engine, I was pushing myself all the time to exceed everybody's expectations towards me. I took 3 months instead of 6 months to finish up my Training Programs, started my first training session to most senior (antique) branch operations staff.....and worked so so hard to be named the youngest Assistant Manager in MAA.

I thought I've never had a life there. All I knew was to perform better, work faster all times. And all those exhausting thoughts and actions made me so worn-out one fine day that I sat down and cried. I cried so hard but I could only hear silence laughing at me. The silence of loneliness. After all those struggle, I'd never felt good anyway.

I thought my career had come across a halt. I do not know what is giving me satisfactions. I've searched almost every directions that I can have, but my mind is already telling me it's more than adequate. If I ever pushed myself an inch forward again, I would be K.O there....

Big-big sigh.....we should really enjoy every moment that God gives us...What is the point of rushing ourselves when God had not decided a time limit for us yet? Even if the saying of "we may not know what tomorrow brings" is accurate, what would you really do if you know tomorrow never comes? Would you still rush over the final day, or would you prefer to sit down, relax and have a good cuppa coffee with that special one(s)...?

If my tomorrow never comes, may God bless all that I love and all those who loves me ~ a life so meaningful, serene and colorful, everlasting alike the first flower that blossoms when winter comes....

Monday, August 17, 2009

First K-Session @ Makati City

~Jupiter Karaoke~

Here I come....naughty time...! Well, it's my first group outing with my training-mates at Makati on 15th August 2009.
Even though there's Redbox K here in Makati, but my seniors claimed that the sound system ain't too good there. Well, anything would sound as good to us, so we headed to Jupiter K. It was only about 10 minutes drive from my condo and the streets looks like our dear Jalan Alor. Basically a very narrow two-way street with all sorts of shops, restaurants and entertainment venue along it. Damn, I was too busy chatting (and getting noisy) with friends along the journey that I missed to capture some landscapes...

As more friend's friend's friends joined in, we almost lost count of how many crazy people were there that night. Although the songs are not very updated there, but we do enjoy ourselves with all those wrong pitching and lunatic screams...well, we really enjoyed ourselves...
Most popular beers at KL are not available at Makati. We had San Miguel that night and it tastes very much like SKOL that we have in KL. It is not too gassy compared to Carlsberg or Tiger, and we girls likes it as we don't burps too much after a few bottles.

Party ends at about 2am, and all went home with smiles (drunkards' smiles) on our faces. It felt safe to go home at such wee hours, maybe because we always moved in groups.

And there the night ends, and slept 'til 4.30pm the very next day (piggy me!)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Update @ Makati city

Girls, Girls, Girls.....

This is just coming into the second week at Makati - but something hilarious is already happening at home. The girls (Susy & Joyce) are already declaring womanly-made wars with each other. Well, of course there's nothing to do with me at all, but somehow rather it does affect the "chi" at home.I understand how they both feel actually. It is never easy to stay under one roof with somebody you hardly know, not to mention in the same room. Well, it urges me to try my best to stay in harmony with others here. Life can be made much easier when you have more friends than enemies, right? Maybe this is lesson No.1 for me at Makati....

Hmmm...makes me miss HOME even more. I'm sure Daddy & MomMom will always stand with my tantrums at home. No matter how lazy, moody, sleepy or naughty am I at home, there's is always a little smiling curve on their face....which melts all my tensions away. Or I can just shout LEOOOOO....and here comes our Home's mascot, wagging its almost non-existence tail and start licking my hands & feet. Fur-ball baby....

~~~~~~~~~~~~

@ work
Today is a very tiring day at work. Many things seems to be getting out of my way, and I'm just not doing things right. Maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe I was not concentrating at class today. Whatever the reason, I'm not giving up yet. I heard the lesson will be very interesting by tomorrow. we will all learn virtual back-office gaming and I hope it goes well.

Right after work, I headed straight to the gym for a thorough workout. I was sweating all over, and surprisingly, I enjoyed it! I thought I never liked the sweaty feeling but now I know why Daddy always urges me to exercise. I will go to the gym more often...and take a dip in the pool, too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daddy & MomMom will be visiting me @ Makati by end of this month. Argghh...I can't wait already. I'm so anxious to show them my home (and the gym & swimming pool) and the place I'm working (that it is really just opposite my condo). And I would love to see them so much. I wonder if I would just cry and hug them so so tightly when i see them. Buddha bless my parents with good health and safe journey in life....
sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I'm new at Makati...!

The weather @ Makati

The sun rises much earlier compared to KL. The sun shines by 6.20a.m every morning and it feels like afternoon sun by 10a.m. No doubt, it becomes dark by 6.30p.m and that is the main reason I’m so homely currently. I still don’t think it is a very brilliant idea to roam the unknown streets when I’m on stranger’s land.
Coming towards the end of the year, weather in PHP will be cloudy and very windy. The locals call it the “wet” season. Very true; this whole week is soggy with rain past 8.00p.m. My senior even noted that the weather will be worst coming end of August. The wind will be so strong that an umbrella will fly off if you are not holding it tight. Not to be surprised, PHP is an island next to Malaysia anyway. Strong winds and rain in August till October is in our Geography syllabus, right? I’m curious if it is really that serious…

The food @ Makati

Didn’t have the chance to try local PHP foods yet, but hope that our maid will cook it for us one day rather than struggling to cook us (tasteless) Chinese cuisine…hehe…
It is very convenient for me to hunt for food at the place I’m staying now. Well it’s only about 5 minutes’ walk to the nearest restaurants – McDonalds, KFC, Shakey’s Pizza, Starbucks, Chinese Restaurant, and Western Restaurant - not to forget 7-Eleven and MiniMart is just opposite the apartment!

Security Guards @ Makati

Believe it or not, there are more Security Guards to be seen patrolling on Makati Street compared to policemen. Almost every shops / restaurants / office premises hired enough security guards to ensure people entering the place do not carry illegal stuffs i.e. guns, AK47, bombs……..
Well, brush aside the skeptical reasons of those guard’s inspections. It does really feel safe to walk on streets here in Makati as long as it is still early. The locals will only wander around streets pass 10p.m and will be shooed by the security guards by 1a.m. So, the principle here is never walk on streets alone when it is too late. I’m thankful this probability does not apply to me as my office is just opposite my apartment...

Swimming @ Makati

Again to my surprise, there’s a swimming pool at the highest floor of my apartment, 37th floor. I couldn’t wait to swim once I knew about it so I rushed to the nearest mall to get myself a swimsuit. Luck was on my side, I got a good deal of swimsuit for sale – Peso175 which is equivalent to RM17.50…..sexy V-neck bikini, no joke!
So I had my first swim at Makati today. It feels great, swimming on top of a building. Strong winds blowing with mild sunshine….ahhh it was so holiday-like! I wish I can do this at least ever week….

My first day at Makati...

Arrival at PHP airport at 26th July 2009 around 5.00a.m local time - After getting through all the necessary procedures and getting my baggage, I felt the first warm wind brushing on my face. Hmm, warm welcome greeting from the PHP guardian angels, I reckoned?

I was too tired to look around after I got into the van. Didn’t get very good ride as the flight was quite bumpy. PHP weather reported to be very cloudy that day.

Checked into the dorm at approx 6.04a.m. I was astonished with the condition of the apartment – too good to be true! The building looks like our typical first class apartment at Kota Damansara (really!) and once I step into my dorm, it looks like exclusive condos! Well it’s much spacious than most apartments we have in KL. Although the rooms are average in size but I’m impressed with the living space and kitchen. Fully equipped with all sorts of cooking utensils and the living hall is bigger than my home’s. Also, total privacy for all tenants here because all rooms have our own toilet. Here in PHP, they call “toilet” as “comfort room”. I wonder if that is international language....

My housemates

Well, there are 3 rooms here and it is shared between 7 persons. 2 guys and 5 girls. The guys are getting very lucky this time.

Dewi + Hartono: This couple occupies a room of their own. Both are from Indonesia, Batam but they look even more like a Chinese than me! We call the girl Jacelyn and the guy Ah Soon - very regular couple. They married at a younger age and have a son aged 4. Well, Ah Soon is a very quiet guy, or maybe because he doesn’t speak too well in Mandarin & English. So we usually communicate in Bahasa and a little of my broken Hokkien. Jacelyn is the dominant one as she is more outspoken and chatty.

Joyce + Susy + Roslina: Well, 3 girls in a room will usually lift up the positive energy a bit. Very noisy and chatty girls they surely are. Joyce is a Malaysian, Seremban. She’s quite chatty, but just a little too calculative and “kiasu” among all. No doubt, there are so many faces out there and I’m not surprised to come across with her type here. Overall, it’s really not much a problem to get along with her. Susy is also from Indonesia, Batam - is the noisiest, crazy, fun and full with beauty queen tendencies in her. She needs the most time to get ready every morning and she looks good at all times. Youngest at home and being single, we don’t mind a little “mascot” having fun at home. Roslina (Indonesia, Batam) is very quite just like Ah Soon, but certainly not a trouble-maker type (currently). She follows the flow of lifestyle at home and we are comfortable with her too.

My first maid – Joy

Company will hire a maid for us at approx Peso 12, 000 inclusive of her salary, allowance, meal (with us) and miscellaneous. Well, Joy is new and we are her first employer. She can’t speak English too well and there is a slight communication problem with her. However, there is exactly no problem with her performance. Our house chores are done in perfect manner daily. The best thing that I love is; she brings my slipper every time I’m home. Yes, it is Hong Kong style here; we wear slippers and walk around the house like no one cares! If her performance reaches our expectations, we will pay her bonuses or raise her salary (apart from the monies paid by the company). Well, giving her an extra Peso1, 000 (converted approx RM100) is enough for her to support her family of five for about 2 months already! So, we will wait and see….