what about men?

I need to admit my fondness to listen to a man's talking more than a woman's blabbing. Okay, I am not stereotyping that all woman blabs. I am from that species too, mind you. And this blog proved my blabbing genes, what not!

Today is just another boring day at work. Boring, in my career context, means there are things to do but I choose to ignore them because I don't have then ooommmppphhhh to do it yet. I don't produce half quality output for the sake of producing. If I produce, I make sure it is out of good qualities. Are we talking genes here again?

Okay so I declared a boring day. Better go gia-gia to departments I am familiar with, hae a little with those people of same ethnic with me. I was stopped by a small group of OLs. They flagged me from far, acknowledging that I am welcomed to join their Hae Group Chat. Damn, how can I act like I am rushing to a meeting? *busted!

And when I light my first slim Ca, they started a conversation as if I was never there (then why flagged me?!?!?). They blab about who's who husband... Who's who boyfriend... What's new at store... What's off season and yet who's who still using it... Who's who getting married... Ding dong! Then they know I existed. But my soul was already drifting away as far as Takumi driving his AE86. Sleek, clean drift. Vrooooommm... Huh? Who's getting married? What, so soon? You'd better be kidding, pretty! And so I brushed them of with a few hypocritical ooohhhssss-aaahhhsss...and left the Group Chat.

And then I landed myself to Mars. They too flagged me from afar, but their body language only shows two fingers and wave it, the smoking sign. As I joined in and lighted another slim Ca (mind you, the previous was a waste!), there was total silence. We didn't talk, but there is a feeling like, "okay don't nee to say, we understand" kind of wavelength. Cool. #checkpoint: the ladies were blabbing straightaway.

And when someone breaks the silence, asked -- why such dark eye circles? Next time don't be hardworking so late la.... Everyone burst out laughing. Laughing mad. #checkpoint: this laugh was real

Guys don't like to victimize a subject for conversation. Usually, they will only prey on those in attendance. #checkpoint: ladies like to talk about people out of context, means talking behind people's backside. These tai-kors are also very straight to the point. Like they commented my lack of career line when I was wearing the V neck yesterday, I know they mean it. #checkpoint: the tai-ka-jehs gossips about people they pretend to be nice upfront. *fakers

But nevertheless, I know I have countless things about life and career wise that I need to learn from these tai-kors. If I look back, almost my entire job history requires me to mingle with men. I knew my very first bunch of big bad wolves in events era. Then the immobilizer company, all technicians and sales were men, smelly men. Then MAA, I trained insurance agents and most of them are arrogant men. Haha...all sorts. That's why; I am not-so-OL. good or bad thing, who gives a damn? It's my life and I lived it.

Summarily, men are quality conversationalist because they hardly talk. And when they talk, they get hard -- this is NOT my quote! I swear! *innocence

Thank you, a few hours passed and very soon my shining armor will come to save me from this cold boring dungeon. I will survive!

Michelle Cheong "Ah Kai"....

This is a tiring but abundant weekend. I hardly slept for more than 5 hours but I have spent all most quality time catching up with chicks May - this small eyed oriental banana full with fun and hilarious genes. She is fantabulous indeed.

I remembered hating her the very first moment I saw her in the school bus. Maybe it was her eyes. Too small it spells LCLY on her forehead. Or she was just jealous I've got big eyed tweety bird face.

In fact we were never in the same class. She pulled out from prefectorial probation in less than a week and I was celebrating. So what is this crap between us?

We went lepaking together after school at McD Maluri. We pretend to be studying but we were blab blab blab-ing.
We did countless BBQ at her house and enjoyed staying late at night high.
I was with her when two macho tomboys fight for her. Yes I went downstairs to alert aunty Judy because I don't have a phone to call 999.
We club and drink and dance and puke and drink again together once we both could drive. If she drive, I settle the gas and vice versa.
We worked multi lingual telemarketing at HSBC together. That was our first job after high-school.

After that, maybe after a few more encounters during that era; we parted ways. She studied Form 6 and then USM Penang. Me went to KTAR and started the rat race.
But the clubbing and partying and chatting and catching up continues whenever and wherever we can. That's how we did it, and we are still doing it.

Nowadays, I don't hate her because she got smaller eyes. Because I don't dare to hate her anymore. Today, she proudly says to her haters "watch my back!"

Hahahahhahaah Rolling On Floor Laughing.

I am now loving her body art. Sophisticated, loud and exclusive. Just like herself.

Tiresomely sober

I am totally baffled by the demanding speed of tasks reaching my territory this week. No, I am certainly not complaining (yet). In fact, the more work I have denotes how fast time ticks away. Yesterday, I was amused of how my 12 hours at work just zoomed off as if it was only 1 hour 20 minutes ago?

This stuffs I love about my job is… there isn’t much paperwork to do. I don’t do lots of m.words typing nor do I spend a lot of formularization at m.excel. Since my promotion early last year, I don’t lay my hands on preparing amusing animations at m.powerpoint too. So, what do I really do at work? As if, nothing right?

Yes, let me complain a little (now). I just need to exhale all my frustrations before my handsome (*yerrrr handsome??) tai-kor reaches my territory in a while.

I monitor backup server performances when the real production servers are either under scheduled maintenance, downtime, error, sick, menopause or what hell they are not working. Okay I am freezing with the thought of hanging in the big big fridge. I feel like a corpse.

I liaise with the most moronic morons that could possibly appear in a workplace, i.e. compliance, internal audit, risk, emergency wardens, general admin, company secretaries, and secretaries …scary secretaries. Uuurgghh… and they know hell about business continuity. Some smartass once told me; business continuity is when I get my payroll on time every month, regardless if the company is dying or not. Makes sense and very much humanized thinking, but……problems arise when people ignore the importance of looking things in a bigger perspective.

And when there are no other problems, my territorial problem comes in. My lady boss thinks I should polish my department’s administrative efficiency. My handsome (*hics) boss always wants me to strategize ahead because the essence of operations risk management and bcm is to look way forward, way way way forward than those moronic morons. I rest my case. Things I still need to do because I still need the job. Rat race, Bull shit.

Yesterday, he made me do crisis communication for Jakarta state of emergency. I loved the urgency and seriousness in ensuring our abang and adik are safe at Indon. But when I finally reach home I was blank. I couldn’t find my brain, I lost my stomach and I couldn’t feel my lips. I need some pampering. Anybody hears me?!?!?

Yes, you Sir. Better be giving me that beautiful ‘surprise’ you said you will. Yes, I reckon that gift should start with alphabet ‘B’. If not, I will not help you to help the new boss during your transition to Munich, bleh bleh bleh *devilish

If I have a choice, I don’t want all this crap. But craps are usually the enabler of many other things. This is merely an outward expression. I need to bring things out, and I am glad I can at least do it at my own blog. I don’t want to become a blowfish.

Fear empowers when Uncertainties reign

Human's greatest fear is most prominent when uncertainties creeps in.

If you can foresee something going awry, there will be less fear. Or when you have expected the worst, you feel rather controlled of the situation and less fear lingers in you.

As long as you know least about; your heart pumping faster, cold sweats perspire and butterflies raging in stomach. Good for you if those are butterflies, there will be more fear if ringworms are raging in your stomach. *gross

I have my fair share of fear. In fact, so much of goosebumps as I went through a somewhat turbulent 2011/2012.

There was fear of knowing the unknown. Yea, ironic wasn't it? I left my comfortable zone eager to explore, but that makes the most fear when I had to be home again. I was afraid of that comfy zone I once had, because the smell of freedom is priceless.

There was fear of letting go. Yes, letting myself go - for respecting myself to walk away from anything that no longer serves me, grows me and/or makes me happy. Be myself again, but so much fear over the years; I'd forgotten to 'love myself before loving anyone else'

I had fear of forgetting any precious moments I once had. I cried to every darkness moment when I couldn't find Leo in my memory bank. I needed to find pain so I wouldn't forget the agonies of losing momentous touch.

Those are just few eerie haunts I had, of course I can't list them all. And guess why I can share these fears here? Because I have acknowledged, accepted and dealt with my fears. I can't say I've conquered all of these dreadful things - but I have certainly found the courage to manage them.

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, simply to make you the person you were meant to be ~ author unknown

Bad karma doesn't tell you when it is coming to get you. Just when things are not wishful, don't hide in fear. Because as you tirelessly sow more good deeds to compensate, good karma comes along to bring a smile again. That's when you can be certain that happiness do visit only when you are ready.

If I ever have fear again, I will be thankful knowing I'm ready to embrace it. And I'm not alone. I have my sharky with me.

Fear reigns when you disallow happiness to empower yourself ~yennyho

A string of thoughts and it tangled

When I'm happy, I write. It seems that when I’m happy, I’d forget to write, too. Just when I feel an itch at those fingertips, they goes tap, tap and tap again…

There are so many happy things in end of 2012 and beginning of 2013. I couldn’t find which piece to start with. I was hearing so much of happiness, reading so much of happiness and getting so much of happiness. Happiness hugs too, from those who can hug me and I’d hug back.

And just when there was so much of over whelming happiness, I’ve spotted some stains to it. Accidental or intentional, it is definitely beyond my contemplation.

But I dreaded to know your main purpose of shadowing my happiness.

Because happiness is just like the print on our thumbs. They are unique. They are autonomous. They don’t need comparison.

A person once walked up to Buddha and said; “I want happiness”. And thus Buddha replied; “Remove the “I”, it is ego. And remove the ‘want’, it is desire. And when you leave your ego and desire aside, there’s happiness.”

You too, whoever you are, can be happy. Metta.

euphoria. synergy.

寻找过去的自己 ，找到现在的他.

25 12 2012

Vinyann: sweetie gift of the year

Baby....is the best time machine. Every moment with Vinyann reminds me that : time flies, reminiscence every tick of the clock.

Be thankful. Be loving.