Hmm...nothing significant to pen down tonight, but maybe I'm just too used of blogging nowadays. I think I'm getting a nickname as blogger-queen from my colleagues soon - due to my extended interest to write and express myself in words. No wonder my mood always turn bad whenever I can't find the right word to say at times...
Well, a new gal join into my dorm since last Saturday. She's from Thailand, her name is Nis/Tina/Gwendolyn. Now don't query why she's got so many name cos I didn't give her any of those. That's how she introduced herself when I asked what is her name. So I told her in return, my name is Yenny/Foong Yen/Yen/Sor-poh/Sam-pat/Leng-lui. Haha...tung ngor wan yeh?!?!? nyek nyek nyek...
Well, she is a nice girl anyway. Even I do not know her very well, but she is practically nice at first sight. Hopes she will still be nice along the way.
She's working at the 19th Flr as Customer Service Officer. Her work is basically to chat everyday, using our company's Customer Support line. The system is almost 80% alike our MSN chat. Of course I envied her, who doesn't want to sit there the whole day and all you do is just "chatting"? There will be no emotional turbulence, because you won't hear the fussy & angry voice of the customer. You don't see the customer's face at all, so it cut the risk of facing an ugly customer. All you need to do is type "Please calm down, sir. We'll assist you shortly" and after that you don't give a damn if he commits suicide at the other line!...Heaven-made job for every front-liners, I assume?
Other than that, she is also a very good cook. Yes, you have guessed it. She makes very good TomYam-kung and the smell of it already make my slivers splurging like waterfall. I haven't tasted it yet, but the aroma hits me when I came home from work last Sunday. I can't imagine what would I do if I have tasted the food. Hire her as my chef, maybe?
She speaks more English compared to Mandarin, but it's ok for me as I'm comfy with both. She adds an additional opportunity for me to learn another foreign language here (to fulfill my Things-To-Do list). Yeah...next time I can curse in Tagalog, Thai and Bahasa Indonesia whenever I come across with any nasty people in my life....
Gawd, all I ever wanted to do is cursing??!?!?......bad influence....rated 18PL...
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
10 things I look forward to......
Well, the end of the year is drawing near, and gawd knows what I had done/accomplished in the last 300++ days of my life...People should be talking about the coming New Year's resolutions by now (if they are already bored crapping about Xmas gits anyway..) but it suddenly crossed my mind that - what are the things I would look forward to do before the year ends?...
Hmmpphh...Hmmmpphh
1. Boost up my training on the treadmill so I can get cellulite-free legs by next year (yes, I'm having that orangey-look on my thighs and I'm not ashamed to tell everyone here haha)
2. Buy a pair of knee-length boots (I still can't forget "that" boot I saw at Landmark) and a matching punky black dress
3. Be more dedicated and enjoy my work here so time files faster - also, I can be home even faster
4. Learn more Tagalog so I can use a foreign language to curse some selfish Malaysian when I'm back; and enjoy the feeling that they don't what know I'm cursing about
5. Improve my relationship with Bobby and enjoy the companionship here while we can
6. Take well-balanced meals daily - more fruits, veges and soups. Less instant noodles! Less rice! Less meat!
7. Capture more photos and send home to family & friends (I have always loved photography, but it just stopped with no better reasons...)
8. Indulge and pamper myself more with massages/spa/glorious food/fun outings
9. Save at least 60% of my salary here (gosh if only I can do this, I can be gawd damn rich man.....)n - gambateh!
10. Be happy, worry less, frown less - smile ^.^
Do you think I can...?
Hmmpphh...Hmmmpphh
1. Boost up my training on the treadmill so I can get cellulite-free legs by next year (yes, I'm having that orangey-look on my thighs and I'm not ashamed to tell everyone here haha)
2. Buy a pair of knee-length boots (I still can't forget "that" boot I saw at Landmark) and a matching punky black dress
3. Be more dedicated and enjoy my work here so time files faster - also, I can be home even faster
4. Learn more Tagalog so I can use a foreign language to curse some selfish Malaysian when I'm back; and enjoy the feeling that they don't what know I'm cursing about
5. Improve my relationship with Bobby and enjoy the companionship here while we can
6. Take well-balanced meals daily - more fruits, veges and soups. Less instant noodles! Less rice! Less meat!
7. Capture more photos and send home to family & friends (I have always loved photography, but it just stopped with no better reasons...)
8. Indulge and pamper myself more with massages/spa/glorious food/fun outings
9. Save at least 60% of my salary here (gosh if only I can do this, I can be gawd damn rich man.....)n - gambateh!
10. Be happy, worry less, frown less - smile ^.^
Do you think I can...?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
2012...
2012....The most heated conversation at Makati recently. You will look like an idiot if you can't join in any chats regarding this topic at the workplace. But being the always unique me (a-hem), I'd prefer to stay quiet and look like an idiot at the same time; rather than joining in such shallow tête-à-tête.
I couldn't bring myself to comment about the earthquake that separates that shopping mall, the volcano that bursts like an over-heated microwave, or the tsunami that killed President Obama. Those are not the main message of the story isn't it? Despite all the natural disasters that were practically over-reacted in the movie, I'd feel that the movie is just telling us not to think so much when the end-of-the-world-day really comes.
C'mon, do you really think you can drive a limo like that crazy guy when New York city is splitting like wrinkles on gransma's face? And do you think a dead old caravan can escape hot lava like batman's sports car? And please tell me how can I find a boob's plastic surgeon to maneuver a 747 out of chaos?
Please don't get me wrong. I'm definitely not taking 2012 for granted. I'd even made a red "x" at my calendar as reminder.
It is never too late to believe that one fine day (not necessarily in 2012), the world will get expired and all she (Mother Nature) need to do is throw a big-big tantrum at all lousy homosapiens; and renew the whole mass nature of earth.
Whether will there be any form of human life after that, who cares? It is not for us to decide. And the idea of e-Ark in the movie didn't amuse me too much. If there's really the Ark, then these same group of people are having another chance to destruct the world again later. I'd prefer a full-renewal process. Who knows, God decides to create a new Adam with boobs and chest hair...? and then create Eve with unlimited wisdom & happiness.. and less problems to be cared for.
Back again... at that point of time, I don't think I have anymore time to get the supernatural acts clicked in. All I'd hope for is the chance to accept the punishment sealed with a last kiss from my parents, and am able to ask for their forgiveness in all naughty things I've ever done. Well, in short - it will be good enough if I can die in the arms of loved ones, rather than dying out of no-where. That's not too much to ask for , right?
And after a blink of eye, I could be re-born into a sexy, curvy, charming female T-Rex and start running around the jungle like a moron. Then, I would look forward that the world is really coming to a fresh beginning again, even after a bad ending....
I couldn't bring myself to comment about the earthquake that separates that shopping mall, the volcano that bursts like an over-heated microwave, or the tsunami that killed President Obama. Those are not the main message of the story isn't it? Despite all the natural disasters that were practically over-reacted in the movie, I'd feel that the movie is just telling us not to think so much when the end-of-the-world-day really comes.
C'mon, do you really think you can drive a limo like that crazy guy when New York city is splitting like wrinkles on gransma's face? And do you think a dead old caravan can escape hot lava like batman's sports car? And please tell me how can I find a boob's plastic surgeon to maneuver a 747 out of chaos?
Please don't get me wrong. I'm definitely not taking 2012 for granted. I'd even made a red "x" at my calendar as reminder.
It is never too late to believe that one fine day (not necessarily in 2012), the world will get expired and all she (Mother Nature) need to do is throw a big-big tantrum at all lousy homosapiens; and renew the whole mass nature of earth.
Whether will there be any form of human life after that, who cares? It is not for us to decide. And the idea of e-Ark in the movie didn't amuse me too much. If there's really the Ark, then these same group of people are having another chance to destruct the world again later. I'd prefer a full-renewal process. Who knows, God decides to create a new Adam with boobs and chest hair...? and then create Eve with unlimited wisdom & happiness.. and less problems to be cared for.
Back again... at that point of time, I don't think I have anymore time to get the supernatural acts clicked in. All I'd hope for is the chance to accept the punishment sealed with a last kiss from my parents, and am able to ask for their forgiveness in all naughty things I've ever done. Well, in short - it will be good enough if I can die in the arms of loved ones, rather than dying out of no-where. That's not too much to ask for , right?
And after a blink of eye, I could be re-born into a sexy, curvy, charming female T-Rex and start running around the jungle like a moron. Then, I would look forward that the world is really coming to a fresh beginning again, even after a bad ending....
Thursday, November 19, 2009
如果沒有你
Hey ～我真的好想你 現在窗外面又開始下著雨 眼睛幹幹的 有想哭的心情 不知道你現在到底在哪裡
Hey ～我真的好想你 太多的情緒 沒適當的表情 最想說的話 我該從何說起 你是否也像我一樣在想你
如果沒有你 沒有過去 我不會有傷心 但是有如果還是要愛你
如果沒有你 我在哪裡 又有什麼可惜 反正一切來不及 反正沒了自己
Hey ～我真的好想你 不知道你現在到底在哪裡
你是否像我一樣在想你…?
Hey ～我真的好想你 太多的情緒 沒適當的表情 最想說的話 我該從何說起 你是否也像我一樣在想你
如果沒有你 沒有過去 我不會有傷心 但是有如果還是要愛你
如果沒有你 我在哪裡 又有什麼可惜 反正一切來不及 反正沒了自己
Hey ～我真的好想你 不知道你現在到底在哪裡
你是否像我一樣在想你…?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Insightful chat with KS
I had a very good chat with KS last night. We talked about so many subjects that I doubted if he ever initiated this kind of chat with his brother, ever.
I've known KS for as long as I knew his brother. Coming close to about 7 years, maybe. I've portrayed KS as a guy with very few words, very much back-laid to himself and doesn't demand much from others. Very opposite from his brother who is more a socialite, expressive, naughty and what can I say, attractive.
Had dinner with KS at Hap Chan Restaurant, Bugos Makati city. We started talking since we got a taxi, all the way through the peak traffic jammed; while we were eating and until he walked me home.
We talked about personality, family, expectations, $$, career, future plans, and on top of everything, we spoke about love.
I've always envied his girlfriend so much when KS planned for their Christmas holiday last two years. He brought his girlfriend to Hong Kong Disneyland on Christmas Day, living in Disneyland's Hotel Suite Room! All on his expenses. Well, maybe it's not really the monies that really counts (but that heck is really a lot of money!) but...don't any girl would dream to live in such fairy tale at least once in a lifetime? First class Xmas celebration at Disneyland with all those heart-throb childhood cartoon characters surrounding you....singing all those never-to-forget main theme songs from Cinderella, Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast....
and the sweetest thing about Ks is...he writes a diary (everyday!) since the first day he dated his girlfriend and kept all those happy, unforgettable first-kiss moment, first-fine-dining moment, first-sex-moment, first-fight, first make-over, first ahh...whatever...It just proved how important the relationship is to him..!
Such a loving guy, with such pampered girlfriend....they ended the relationship end of last year. Due to irreconcilable opinions and unattainable indifference in life.
KS told me, distance is really one of the main problem towards the breakdown of their bond. Deep inside my heart, a voice whispering to my inner sense:
The greatest problem I have now is also distance. I'm distantly away from my family and my friends. I'm distantly away from a location call Home. I have courageously faced all difficulties I have here physically and emotionally, but I have placed my heart at a far far place called --> distance.
And so, I told KS. I don't think he should be sad for too long (which he kept on denying that he is sad) because he had a very memorable love chapter with her after all. If all he could feel now is sadness, then he had wasted all those amazing memories together....I know nothing I've said would bring them together again, but at least he knows that it is not the end of everything ever. We do fall out of love at some time in our life, but eventually we will discover another splendid form of love again someday; and as we look back, it never felt so bad after all!
As for myself, I shouldn't feel so empty inside too. Since I've decided to leave home for awhile and absorbs a new adventure out here, I should let loose and blends all my emotions well. I should make everyday an interesting encounter, let it be happy or sad. So later on when I'm already getting enough of this, and decides to be Home again, I would profit from this lifetime experience which no money can buy after all. And as I look back, it will never feel so bad after all....!
I've known KS for as long as I knew his brother. Coming close to about 7 years, maybe. I've portrayed KS as a guy with very few words, very much back-laid to himself and doesn't demand much from others. Very opposite from his brother who is more a socialite, expressive, naughty and what can I say, attractive.
Had dinner with KS at Hap Chan Restaurant, Bugos Makati city. We started talking since we got a taxi, all the way through the peak traffic jammed; while we were eating and until he walked me home.
We talked about personality, family, expectations, $$, career, future plans, and on top of everything, we spoke about love.
I've always envied his girlfriend so much when KS planned for their Christmas holiday last two years. He brought his girlfriend to Hong Kong Disneyland on Christmas Day, living in Disneyland's Hotel Suite Room! All on his expenses. Well, maybe it's not really the monies that really counts (but that heck is really a lot of money!) but...don't any girl would dream to live in such fairy tale at least once in a lifetime? First class Xmas celebration at Disneyland with all those heart-throb childhood cartoon characters surrounding you....singing all those never-to-forget main theme songs from Cinderella, Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast....
and the sweetest thing about Ks is...he writes a diary (everyday!) since the first day he dated his girlfriend and kept all those happy, unforgettable first-kiss moment, first-fine-dining moment, first-sex-moment, first-fight, first make-over, first ahh...whatever...It just proved how important the relationship is to him..!
Such a loving guy, with such pampered girlfriend....they ended the relationship end of last year. Due to irreconcilable opinions and unattainable indifference in life.
KS told me, distance is really one of the main problem towards the breakdown of their bond. Deep inside my heart, a voice whispering to my inner sense:
The greatest problem I have now is also distance. I'm distantly away from my family and my friends. I'm distantly away from a location call Home. I have courageously faced all difficulties I have here physically and emotionally, but I have placed my heart at a far far place called --> distance.
And so, I told KS. I don't think he should be sad for too long (which he kept on denying that he is sad) because he had a very memorable love chapter with her after all. If all he could feel now is sadness, then he had wasted all those amazing memories together....I know nothing I've said would bring them together again, but at least he knows that it is not the end of everything ever. We do fall out of love at some time in our life, but eventually we will discover another splendid form of love again someday; and as we look back, it never felt so bad after all!
As for myself, I shouldn't feel so empty inside too. Since I've decided to leave home for awhile and absorbs a new adventure out here, I should let loose and blends all my emotions well. I should make everyday an interesting encounter, let it be happy or sad. So later on when I'm already getting enough of this, and decides to be Home again, I would profit from this lifetime experience which no money can buy after all. And as I look back, it will never feel so bad after all....!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
what an apologetic day--and it's a double!
Apology-1:
It was such a busy & messy day at work. We were practically short-handed of four personnel today; and there was terribly many many online gamers getting in. I worked with a senior (whom I always think is the nicest person in ST Team 1) and we both were trying to cope with the volume. Around 4.25pm, the big-gamers were finally attacking in. Being the busy me, I took a quick glance at the tickets and I heard my senior mentioned about the application. Well, I just took it for granted since I know he's attending to it. So I converted my attention to some other games....
About half an hour later, I heard my supervisor shouting from his podium that we are at a loss to account CTA. Me and my senior, suddenly went blue; and then I think we got goose bumps together. Gosh, sounded like "that" ticket we saw just now. Of which, checking back on our previous records, we've lost 3 tickets at 0.91WL to CTA, approximation of RMB60,000....
Only then, we knew we have done 2 major mistake. 1)my senior did not run away from the avatar. 2)I was ignorant to double check after my senior attended to it.
Well, he admitted the fault, and I was partially pardoned because "I'm still new"...sigh....
Sorry, Eric Wong.
Apology-2:
The stupid heater in my room is not working today. Dumb maintenance-guys are not available at such wee hours (of course) and I had to use another bathroom. Due to this, I had waken up my housemate from her perfect slumber....Well, this is really nothing big, but I know that perfect sleep is crucial to everyone of us in this line. Coincidentally, she is on her off-day and I had to be so cruel to wake her up so I can use her bathroom...
sigh...Sorry, Joyce.
It was such a busy & messy day at work. We were practically short-handed of four personnel today; and there was terribly many many online gamers getting in. I worked with a senior (whom I always think is the nicest person in ST Team 1) and we both were trying to cope with the volume. Around 4.25pm, the big-gamers were finally attacking in. Being the busy me, I took a quick glance at the tickets and I heard my senior mentioned about the application. Well, I just took it for granted since I know he's attending to it. So I converted my attention to some other games....
About half an hour later, I heard my supervisor shouting from his podium that we are at a loss to account CTA. Me and my senior, suddenly went blue; and then I think we got goose bumps together. Gosh, sounded like "that" ticket we saw just now. Of which, checking back on our previous records, we've lost 3 tickets at 0.91WL to CTA, approximation of RMB60,000....
Only then, we knew we have done 2 major mistake. 1)my senior did not run away from the avatar. 2)I was ignorant to double check after my senior attended to it.
Well, he admitted the fault, and I was partially pardoned because "I'm still new"...sigh....
Sorry, Eric Wong.
Apology-2:
The stupid heater in my room is not working today. Dumb maintenance-guys are not available at such wee hours (of course) and I had to use another bathroom. Due to this, I had waken up my housemate from her perfect slumber....Well, this is really nothing big, but I know that perfect sleep is crucial to everyone of us in this line. Coincidentally, she is on her off-day and I had to be so cruel to wake her up so I can use her bathroom...
sigh...Sorry, Joyce.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Self-pampering
My maid laughed at me today for roaming around the house with nothing much better to do, perfectly aimless. She said cheekily in her broken English, "Mam Yenny, you boling, nothing many-many things to do?" Well, practically she was just teasing me that I look boring and restless at home. Hmmphhh...how can I let my maid tease me, I must be heading somewhere or doing something in the next minute..!
Grabbed my wallet, rushed downstairs and my intuition lead me to the nearest pharmacy. Was looking for some good hair-spa oil so I can lay like a dead corpse on the bath tub and enjoy rejuvenating my hair for the rest of an hour. Isk Isk...can't spot anything good for hair..
A quick glimpse at the right corner of the shelf, I saw a small packet written "Face Sauna" and something scribbled on it as refreshing, cleanses..bla bla bla...
Garnier Synergie Pure Sauna Mask - a clay-like face mask with self-heating ability to cleanse pore and jazz up tired/dull skin. Wow, perfect for my shameless situation now!
~~~Before & After
Well, it does really feel good. Due to it's heating effect, my skin feels less "tight" after using it and some of those dull colored spots on my forehead actually vanishes. Garnier did not pay me a single penny for all these comments, but I never thought that it could do so much wonders on my skin. I only concentrated the clay on my forehead, nose & chin but it does leave some reflexology effect on my whole face, maybe thanks to its heating element.
I've always been using the Neutrogena Facial Mask and I thought that is the best I've ever tried. But this Garnier is equally amazing!
And thus, hope that I'll be enjoying a good-good slumber ahead tonight! Good night!
Grabbed my wallet, rushed downstairs and my intuition lead me to the nearest pharmacy. Was looking for some good hair-spa oil so I can lay like a dead corpse on the bath tub and enjoy rejuvenating my hair for the rest of an hour. Isk Isk...can't spot anything good for hair..
A quick glimpse at the right corner of the shelf, I saw a small packet written "Face Sauna" and something scribbled on it as refreshing, cleanses..bla bla bla...
Garnier Synergie Pure Sauna Mask - a clay-like face mask with self-heating ability to cleanse pore and jazz up tired/dull skin. Wow, perfect for my shameless situation now!
~~~Before & After
Well, it does really feel good. Due to it's heating effect, my skin feels less "tight" after using it and some of those dull colored spots on my forehead actually vanishes. Garnier did not pay me a single penny for all these comments, but I never thought that it could do so much wonders on my skin. I only concentrated the clay on my forehead, nose & chin but it does leave some reflexology effect on my whole face, maybe thanks to its heating element.
I've always been using the Neutrogena Facial Mask and I thought that is the best I've ever tried. But this Garnier is equally amazing!
And thus, hope that I'll be enjoying a good-good slumber ahead tonight! Good night!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
11.11.09
Today is 11th November 2009....denotes 11.11. Let's see what perspective I have on this date...
I was busy adjusting gaming odds today when I suddenly told my team mate that we have a very special date today. 11.11 - double 11.
At first, it feels like a sweet and memorable date. Just like any hot wedding dates which sounds like 19.09.99 or 20.09.2009 and etc etc, I think 11.11 can also be very meaningful. It looks like a double-up happiness day for couples by having both number 1 together, on a repeated basis.
And such, I began to imagine could there be anything special happening to me after work. Things like, a handsome guy come up to me and ask me for a date, or a special pre-arranged outing with friends, or even maybe, I mean just maybe, I'll meet with that cute Eurasian bloke that lives at 11th Floor somewhere at the lobby and he says hi to me!
Well, well...all the above ---- did not happen.
I'm all alone watching movies at home, chatting with some other hopeless chap like me, and blogging for the sake of my follower's interest. And so, at about this time when 11.11.09 is going to pass by just like that, I have another different perspective on the date. The number 1 means alone for singles, and therefore a lonely me today.....
Buckle up, sleep early la, day dreamer....
I was busy adjusting gaming odds today when I suddenly told my team mate that we have a very special date today. 11.11 - double 11.
At first, it feels like a sweet and memorable date. Just like any hot wedding dates which sounds like 19.09.99 or 20.09.2009 and etc etc, I think 11.11 can also be very meaningful. It looks like a double-up happiness day for couples by having both number 1 together, on a repeated basis.
And such, I began to imagine could there be anything special happening to me after work. Things like, a handsome guy come up to me and ask me for a date, or a special pre-arranged outing with friends, or even maybe, I mean just maybe, I'll meet with that cute Eurasian bloke that lives at 11th Floor somewhere at the lobby and he says hi to me!
Well, well...all the above ---- did not happen.
I'm all alone watching movies at home, chatting with some other hopeless chap like me, and blogging for the sake of my follower's interest. And so, at about this time when 11.11.09 is going to pass by just like that, I have another different perspective on the date. The number 1 means alone for singles, and therefore a lonely me today.....
Buckle up, sleep early la, day dreamer....
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
not everyone has second chance....
Heard from Bobby today that his not-so-close friend's girlfriend is dead after plunging from the 18th floor of his living-in condominium. The suicidal girl is only 22 years old. Bobby showed me her FB link and there are many News Feed wishing her "R.I.P" and "We miss you" and so on and so forth...
Well, I don't know the guy and the deceased personally, but I can still feel a pinch of awkwardness towards this whole scenario. The guy is as old as Bobby - 27 years and the girl, just merely 22 years old. What on earth that there's nothing better to do than dying?
As Bobby's usual self, he would ask me some weird questions after telling me some weird news. He asked me " You wouldn't jump off buildings like her, won't you?" Of which, I answered him so directly without any second thoughts "I would, only if Dad & Mom dies first."
Then he burst a big laugh and said "Daddy Mommy is already 50 something! but you are not even 30 yet...! means if Daddy Mommy is no longer around then you will jump off the building is it..?"
hmmpphh...I just laser-eye him and make him know I would very much like to change another subject if he still want to talk with me. He thought it was funny and still giggles before he walks away...idiot... o.o!
My point here is really not so much about who dies first...but does suicide really ends all matter at once? I'm always questioning myself why there's so little time for me to accomplish something. Or sometimes when I looked back to my younger years, it does give me a big-big sigh whether why had I not do this or that...and as time passes away, there will be no more turning back.
And as I'm approaching my 30's soon, I just want time to move slower than it should be. So that I will have more time to love myself, and love those people around me. I also need more time prove to myself that I have at least the slightest contribution towards the community and the environment. I need more time to let Mom know that she didn't give birth to a "sausage" after all....(well, of course Mom never really call me a sausage, but that "sausage" phrase suddenly crossed my mind - that's it)
But she chose to fast forward the time and end it there at once...with no doubt and queries....she just jumped off like that....
Well, to that young girl ~ Ms. Kok - may you rest in peace, if that is your choice of life.
There's so much more in life unknown; do not just rush forward, but don't stay behind for too long ~ time never wait, you are the creator of your own masterpiece...
Well, I don't know the guy and the deceased personally, but I can still feel a pinch of awkwardness towards this whole scenario. The guy is as old as Bobby - 27 years and the girl, just merely 22 years old. What on earth that there's nothing better to do than dying?
As Bobby's usual self, he would ask me some weird questions after telling me some weird news. He asked me " You wouldn't jump off buildings like her, won't you?" Of which, I answered him so directly without any second thoughts "I would, only if Dad & Mom dies first."
Then he burst a big laugh and said "Daddy Mommy is already 50 something! but you are not even 30 yet...! means if Daddy Mommy is no longer around then you will jump off the building is it..?"
hmmpphh...I just laser-eye him and make him know I would very much like to change another subject if he still want to talk with me. He thought it was funny and still giggles before he walks away...idiot... o.o!
My point here is really not so much about who dies first...but does suicide really ends all matter at once? I'm always questioning myself why there's so little time for me to accomplish something. Or sometimes when I looked back to my younger years, it does give me a big-big sigh whether why had I not do this or that...and as time passes away, there will be no more turning back.
And as I'm approaching my 30's soon, I just want time to move slower than it should be. So that I will have more time to love myself, and love those people around me. I also need more time prove to myself that I have at least the slightest contribution towards the community and the environment. I need more time to let Mom know that she didn't give birth to a "sausage" after all....(well, of course Mom never really call me a sausage, but that "sausage" phrase suddenly crossed my mind - that's it)
But she chose to fast forward the time and end it there at once...with no doubt and queries....she just jumped off like that....
Well, to that young girl ~ Ms. Kok - may you rest in peace, if that is your choice of life.
There's so much more in life unknown; do not just rush forward, but don't stay behind for too long ~ time never wait, you are the creator of your own masterpiece...
Monday, November 9, 2009
MC-Day!
Finally decided that I shouldn't give a damn of how much workload I have today, and text my boss in the morning that I've declared today as MC-Day...!!!
Went to see doctor, confirmed it's throat inflammation which caused the fever. Gulped down a package of medicine which includes antibiotics, paracetamol, vitamin C and lozenges....had a good sleep of around 4 hours. Feeling much better now...
~~~
Called Dad & Mom last night and heard that they really misses me a lot. Considering Bro is getting married by end of this year and he certainly will move out to his new home by then, I really need to shorten my working plan here. Maybe I should be back home by next June/July so that I can keep Dad & Mom accompany while Bro has moved out. It is really sickening for me to even have the slightest thought that both my aging parents are left at home alone.
While I'm still here struggling, its good to know I'll be back home very soon...
Went to see doctor, confirmed it's throat inflammation which caused the fever. Gulped down a package of medicine which includes antibiotics, paracetamol, vitamin C and lozenges....had a good sleep of around 4 hours. Feeling much better now...
~~~
Called Dad & Mom last night and heard that they really misses me a lot. Considering Bro is getting married by end of this year and he certainly will move out to his new home by then, I really need to shorten my working plan here. Maybe I should be back home by next June/July so that I can keep Dad & Mom accompany while Bro has moved out. It is really sickening for me to even have the slightest thought that both my aging parents are left at home alone.
While I'm still here struggling, its good to know I'll be back home very soon...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sicko me!
Hmm...I'm feeling feverish again today. Doctor says I have a sore throat coming up and gave me some Vitamin C and fever medicine. I think it's sleep deprivation ( I'm always using this word lately - sleep deprivation). I'm already drinking more water each day and refuse to eat anything heat-y. But waking up this morning, I saw a bright pink pimple on my left cheek and I know something is going wrong with my body. I don't usually get any pimples unless it's the time of the month. But now, I'm already feeling that my body temperature raising and clear signs on my face is showing me warnings~~I'm getting s.i.c.k.
My mood at work is plunging downwards recently. I don't know why I'm so unhappy at times and feeling unfair, dissatisfied and clueless about the whole metaphor at my workplace. Even though some of the hardship in taking this challenge are truly pre-determined before I decide to come, but there are seemingly so many other elements that is unknown and unwelcoming to me now. Too many loopholes in my work that I've unearthed in such short term and I'm beginning to doubt if the grass could really be greener on the other side.
There are signs that I might be able to be transferred to another department soon. Of course I'm looking forward to a change, but whether it is a positive sign or otherwise, nobody can tell. However, I still hopes it is a good change for me to be able to explore further and be doing something else rather than this pile of shit I'm into now.
If things really doesn't work out, Malaysia is better be ready to accept an additional number of jobless-chap in the country soon.
My mood at work is plunging downwards recently. I don't know why I'm so unhappy at times and feeling unfair, dissatisfied and clueless about the whole metaphor at my workplace. Even though some of the hardship in taking this challenge are truly pre-determined before I decide to come, but there are seemingly so many other elements that is unknown and unwelcoming to me now. Too many loopholes in my work that I've unearthed in such short term and I'm beginning to doubt if the grass could really be greener on the other side.
There are signs that I might be able to be transferred to another department soon. Of course I'm looking forward to a change, but whether it is a positive sign or otherwise, nobody can tell. However, I still hopes it is a good change for me to be able to explore further and be doing something else rather than this pile of shit I'm into now.
If things really doesn't work out, Malaysia is better be ready to accept an additional number of jobless-chap in the country soon.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
My sleep-less off-day!
I was talking about sleep deprivation for the whole week already, and now here I am; getting out of bed at 9a.m. on my off-day. In fact I was not in my sleeping mode around 7-ish but I just remained in bed, hope that I will eventually transform into Detective PIG again. But it didn't help at all, and no choice, I'd better find some activities to do instead of wasting my time in bed.
Luckily my network got connected, and I'm going out to Chinatown today with Jacelyn, Soon, Bobby and don't-know-who-else. Just go there walk-walk and find some genuine Chinese food to eat la, instead of eating Chinese fast-foods around Makati City...not so yummy at all actually.
I miss Hokkien Mee at KL. and steamed chicken rice at Connaught. and KFC (yes, KFC here taste totally different). and so many other food I can't possibly name it now.
I'm hungry already....Chinatown better offer me some tasty food....or else....
Luckily my network got connected, and I'm going out to Chinatown today with Jacelyn, Soon, Bobby and don't-know-who-else. Just go there walk-walk and find some genuine Chinese food to eat la, instead of eating Chinese fast-foods around Makati City...not so yummy at all actually.
I miss Hokkien Mee at KL. and steamed chicken rice at Connaught. and KFC (yes, KFC here taste totally different). and so many other food I can't possibly name it now.
I'm hungry already....Chinatown better offer me some tasty food....or else....
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Sigh~~~!
The days moved so slow lately. I don't know why I've lost interest in work all of a sudden. I dragged myself to work, and it was so difficult to lift my foot to walk another step....Maybe I've finally burned-out of "fuel" as this is a very busy month indeed. I do not have the stamina to plan where to go during my off-days because all that I wanted to do is sleep sleep sleep. Get more & more sleep but I'm still sleep deprived. Tired. Lethargic.
This is really the main difference of working far away from home. Compared to my life when I was still at MAA, no matter how busy or tired, I would still find some activities to do during the weekend rather than sleeping the day away. Or even if I wanted to be couch-worm so much, Dad or Mom or Joyce would drag me out to at least do something with them - shopping, buy groceries, watch movies, bla bla bla. But here, I'm basically living a life of my own and I don't need to follow anyone's trend at all. Even friends / housemates here are not so "demanding" if I told them I'm being lazy at home. Nobody really cares if I want to stay home, or go out.
I'm feverish for 2 days already. Went to the clinic a few times to measure my body temperature, it appeared to be normal. Blood pressure normal. But I'm really feeling warm inside. It could be due to lack of sleep, or maybe I'm just being the ol' me again ~ sick-pot. Of course I need to take good care of myself here. No point earning more but losing health. I'm already drinking more water everyday, and watch my diet. Just missed going to the gym lately because I'm really really tired....arrggh...
Bobby made soup for me yesterday, but I didn't drink it. He made bittergourd with button mushroom soup....looks yummy. But I was having my menses that time and Mom had always warned me not to take any food that's too "cooling" for the body. So, I had to say no. I wonder if he feels rejected, but what to do. He didn't know when's my menses coming tho....
I've got a new "buddy" on my bed sleeping through the nite with me now! It's Eeyore! Will get a picture of my new room-mate and download it soon >.<
This is really the main difference of working far away from home. Compared to my life when I was still at MAA, no matter how busy or tired, I would still find some activities to do during the weekend rather than sleeping the day away. Or even if I wanted to be couch-worm so much, Dad or Mom or Joyce would drag me out to at least do something with them - shopping, buy groceries, watch movies, bla bla bla. But here, I'm basically living a life of my own and I don't need to follow anyone's trend at all. Even friends / housemates here are not so "demanding" if I told them I'm being lazy at home. Nobody really cares if I want to stay home, or go out.
I'm feverish for 2 days already. Went to the clinic a few times to measure my body temperature, it appeared to be normal. Blood pressure normal. But I'm really feeling warm inside. It could be due to lack of sleep, or maybe I'm just being the ol' me again ~ sick-pot. Of course I need to take good care of myself here. No point earning more but losing health. I'm already drinking more water everyday, and watch my diet. Just missed going to the gym lately because I'm really really tired....arrggh...
Bobby made soup for me yesterday, but I didn't drink it. He made bittergourd with button mushroom soup....looks yummy. But I was having my menses that time and Mom had always warned me not to take any food that's too "cooling" for the body. So, I had to say no. I wonder if he feels rejected, but what to do. He didn't know when's my menses coming tho....
I've got a new "buddy" on my bed sleeping through the nite with me now! It's Eeyore! Will get a picture of my new room-mate and download it soon >.<
Monday, November 2, 2009
Super Dad's birthday 2009
Daddy's birthday bash at dunno-which-restaurant at The Mines Shopping Complex. Heard that the food is very nice. But whatever, I'm glad that he enjoyed the lunch. And it is most joyful to know he has a big bunch of lunatic Ho's who loves him just as much as I do....
In the picture: Carol (my future sis-in-law), Gary (Bro), Wayne (the naughty brat), Joyce (Aunt), JJ (my little Bro), Super Mom, Super Dad, Wilson (Uncle)
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