indulge in reminiscence

Makati City looks gloomy today. Sunny is not visiting yet, or even not at all. Dark patches of marshmallows holding back their tears; trying to be strong and cheerful maybe. Not many pedestrians passing by that busy street; but who would care if anyone ever left some foot prints there? If everyone thinks you are an acquaintance, don't doubt your dignity and will to live on.

Memories matters only to the right subject, there's no need to tell others because they won't feel the same way you felt. Keep it safe in that corner of your mind. When there are adequate good memories kept, good things follows.

Have you tried spending at least 24 minutes in every 24 hours of your hectic life, simply reminiscing and bring back some good memories and make things happen?

- Reminiscence, Part I -

women's war again...!

I've received an international call, without indication of the caller's details. Once I uttered "hulloo..?" , I heard Joyce Ho from the other line. First thing that crossed my mind was, something happened at home?

No. And yes, again.

Same ol' kind of complaints, same ol' kind of argument. Mom stepped her tails, she feels agitated. Hotline to call: 1800-yenny-ho-000

Bravo. Both important ladies of my life are striking war again. This time, it's about the LCD television. Joyce wanted to give us a 32" LCD tv, even though it is second handed but still new due to minimal usage. It was used by Wayne's PS3 craze, and since he didn't concentrate on his school homework, the gaming is banned at home. Apparently, Wilson got a way in getting another unit of LCD, and decided to give the extra unit to my Home. Nice of him, too.

And my hero Mom nicely tell people off by doubting if the TV is indeed an old junk, something the Soon's family trying to get rid of. Well, I didn't really hear the way Mom says it, but according to Joyce; it hurt her cos Mom was asking as if she's treating home a garbage spot.

I have no idea who to side, and I definitely DO NOT CARE who should I side. This kind of women's war crying foul is happening too many times and I am deliberately sick of it. No one's at full fault, and no one is holy right.

GOSH! Spare me from these earthling's fight. Sadhu.

Rejoice, Manila!

I am loving these 7-days of getaway at Makati, Metro Manila. I can hear my heart beat every moment, and my soul is singing praises of joy and contentment. I have never felt this way about Makati before. I am finally back here, and it feels great.

On 22nd March, the day I departed to MNL from KLIA. It was a rainy morning at Kuala Lumpur, and the mood was gloomy. It felt down-spirited and it was pathetic to find anything to really look up for. As MH704 touched down at NAIA, it was all sunset and that welcoming Pinoy breeze again. I remembers this weather. I remember this scenario. Something which I have taken for granted for the past 2 years. I won't anymore, this time.

I am glad I came back. Everything means a fuller piece for me, and it feels like I am recharged again. Battery level UP! I have aimed to gather more good luck and fortune so I can bring them back with me later. I certainly have. And knowing I am always welcomed back here again, feels a lot easier. I can just pack and leave. This is always me.

It was Earth Hour 2011, and I had candle lit dinner at The Paseo Park. Watching cute little doggies strolling at the garden, had best cold ramen and finest Jap Sake accompanying. And no one else but Muuk. It was overwhelming. It was happiness in perfecto style.

This reminds me of something. Good things don't need to happen all the time. It strikes you just the right moment you needed it. Rejoice!

Quake hits Philippines, no damage expected

An earthquake with an estimated magnitude of 5.7 shook buildings in the Philippine capital on Monday, but was not expected to cause any damage, the head of the government's seismology bureau said. The US Geological Survey said on its website the quake had a magnitude of 5.4 and struck 87 kilometres (54 miles) southwest of Manila at 6.36 pm (1036 GMT).


I will be flying to Manila tomorrow at 1015 local time. Knowing this news, I gave a blank stare. If you think I am afraid to fly tomorrow, not exactly. If you think I feel more eager to be there at Manila just to ensure my loved ones are safe, not perfectly true also.

I don't know what I am thinking, but is feeling sense of losing some humanity hopes. I don't know if this struggle of survival means even anything to us, if the positive aura of Gods are not with us. Should there be anything happening right now and then, what can really be brought along with us? Nothing. The only difference is, if we have lived the day with no regrets after all?

Metta is imporatant to keep the human race alive, but Karma reminds us of true humanity.

21 days : trial

I am officially home for 3 weeks now. Uhmmm, around same time last year, I took 3 weeks' off from work to "holiday" at home too. I could still remember, it was my transition period from Caspo Inc to Stellent Corp. I was so stressed out with Caspo, and it was difficult to decide if I can (want) to make things anew with Stellent. Of which, I did.....and almost a year after the incident, here I am giving up on Stellent Corp.

Well, I can't terribly say giving up because this departure is less political from Caspo's divergence. This time, I am leaving Stellent for the settlement of family affairs. I am home mostly because SuperDad and SuperMom wants (needs) me to be home with them. And also sadly, I could hardly foresee any interesting reason to stay put with Stellent's immature management team.

Those 3 amazing weeks I had in year 2010 (which I took as holiday after resigning from Caspo) was totally hell different compares to this 3 weeks (and many more weeks) I'm having now at home.

I am struggling as hard as I can to renew my living habits now. This is such strange and foreign feeling which I am not supposed to have! This is home, and yet I am not at ease. I feel like a stranger to the full package of living at home! WT Crap!?!?

I have been very upset lately. A part of my concience is blaming the failure of loving home, and another side of me shouts for more personal (I mean P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L!!) space and time. It feels like lost of identity now. I have to follow other's time table, I have to acknowledge new routines, I have to obey new rules! Like I am even forced to eat, even though I am not hungry. And if I don't eat, I'd be tagged as weird. Or they would feel that I am trying to distance myself. Something like that. HUH ?!?!?! Excuse me?

This is a very mutual problem. I was never given such "special" attention if I didn't work abroad. Maybe they missed the feeling of taking good good good CARE of me. They felt there were so many things not done in 2 years time, and now it's payback! In addition, my resentment would not be this supreme if I didn't enjoyed total freedom while working abroad. So, this ultimatum clash is ... mutual. Ok, I can definitely feel better when I am thinking and analyzing it from this angle.

See... this is how I survived these 21 days. I have to be (forcefully) positive and practical. There's not a split nano-second allowed to think of unnecessary things. I am HOME, and this is HOME. There will be no where better than HOME.

Come to this, why don't I start a HOME myself....? Like starting a family? So I can make my own time table, routines and rules?

Hmmmm......

Calamity. Catastrophe. Cataclysm - Fear it.

JAPAN, Tokyo -- The magnitude 8.9 offshore quake unleashed a 23-foot tsunami and was followed by more than 50 aftershocks for hours, many of them of more than magnitude 6.0.



I am not talking about typhoons anymore. I am fearing somethinhg that haunted me in year 2004, when a tsunami took hundreds of lives at major cities of Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia and a few others. This year, it attacked Japan's northern area. I watched a few video clips from different sources, all shown same images of dark waters gushing in mercilessly.

I don't know how many living being made homeless, but still haunts those that are not dead thinking about their loved ones. In year 2004, it was heart breaking when the news broadcasted a long line of wrapped corpse laying on the ground; waiting for families to claim. It was reported that some bodies were badly decomposed in water, and could hardly be recognised. Imagine you are not dead trying to identify someone you loved but confirmed dead. You couldn't find him/her, because most of the cold flesh laying there looks the same. Or there could be no tracebility at all, far from recognizable. Or either way, imagine you are dead. Which imagination seems more humanely "enticing"?

A friend asks, which would I choose? The dead one waiting to be claimed, or claiming a dead one? I said, the dead one. With a tattoo. So increase the chances of them noticing my body, even to the slightest assistance.

And just a short moment ago, daddy and I was watching the video footage of Japan via youtube. And so I asked dad "So, can I get a tattoo of my own name on my back?" He didn't ask me why. He just said "Yes, as long as you are happy".

There's not much use praying God to save humans if we are the one destructing earth with our own bare hands. To turn the karma effect, why not use your hands to do a little more help in saving Earth? Metta to all, Metta to all who have suffered in this tragedy.

I'm home, for the 10th day!

Let's celebrate my 10th day return to Home Sweet Home, rejoicing my strength and courage to start all over again. Hmm...."start all over again"? Didn't my life begins here afterall? Why would home suddenly feels like a secondary nest of my surviving presence?

Coming home after 2 exciting years abroad gives me another insight -- Don't say nothing changes. Things does, and things did. In fact, the element that changes most is not the tangibles. It's a change to the human's heart. A change to lifestyles, a change to preferences, all characteristics big and small.

I feel like an object so foreign to all these differences. Cantonese, a language I've mastered since young; are uttered the same way I used to. But people are already interpreting it adversely now. Back in 2009, a comment made by me do not carry the same meaning to you if I ever let it slip from my lips again now.

I don't know why they want to build walls with me. I thought we are families? I thought we were friends? I thought we were, and still are aquaintance? Nothing ever matters now. Don't say nothing changes. You have the right to move on.

Showing off, is a severe attack of insecurity. Thinking people are always showing off with you, is a chronic ambush of inferiority. 比上不足 , 比下有余.