Heart Talk - Q & A

Time really, really flies. It felt just like yesterday when I had the e-interview with my boss-to-be. I was full with confidence that I still have a long long way to go before my departure date to Makati city, Philippines....

Today, I feel that I ain't got enough moments to collect all my thoughts of going yet. In the midst of finding myself a direction to believe that I'll be leaving HOME in less than 36 hours, I have to admit that I'm soooo tired in answering questions posted by my acquaintances about how i feel about leaving. Ironic isn't it? My thoughts are already so scattered around like pieces of rubbish and yet, I'm socially-forced to answer those questions with a willing heart. I mean, its not that I'm not willing. I'm just getting freaked out in answering the same ol' questions which I had since past few weeks...!....

Sigh, I know I sound abrupt here, but I'm just as lost as Easter Bunny in Halloween ya know. Well, uhm....since everybody is interested to know at about the same thing, I might just build a Q&A here to satisfy everybody, including myself - hoping all my true friends understands that I'm not trying to hide anything. I'm just tired in answering.....

Q: Why leave KL? or Why go to Philippines?
A: Dear tai-ko and tai-chehs....cari makan la...apa lagi..life is not about holidaying or vacation all the time. Maybe I can really establish a career here in KL and lead a similar good life, but I see it as an opportunity rather than a risky decision. We all make risky decision in our lives and I've just chose Philippines. God knows, if I can't make it big there, I can still come back to my loving home here in KL and start all over again. But at least I won't feel like a loser of not even dared to make choices.

Q: What are you doing in Philippines?
A: I'm joining an Online Gaming / Betting company. Stop asking further questions here because you didn't give a damn on what I was doing here in KL. So why bother to ask so much questions now? Your sudden interest in my career now will only make you look like an idiotic hypocrite .... haha

Q: They are paying you great?
A: Of course. Would you change a job in KL if you only got 500 bucks extra? OK OK come back yam-cha, I pay lor....

Q:Don't you miss your parents/family members/friends....etc?
A: Of course I miss all of them here in KL. Especially Mr & Mrs Ho....they are my everything. But yet, that should not be the sole reason of not leaving. I'm sure my parents will back me up if I'm doing the right thing. They gave me life, but I walk the paths myself. As for friends here, well, they certainly remain an important role in my life. I will miss them and bring their laughter with me everywhere.....

Q: Don't they (as above) miss you too?
A: I'm sure they would feel the same......but if you want precise answers, please arrange with my secretary for another section of interview with them...

Q: Awww...I miss you....how do we keep in touch?
A: Well, we can always keep in touch via email/facebook/msn/skype. But c'mon, stop pretending that you really miss me so much. Stop telling me like your life ends when I'm no longer in KL....how many times per average in a week you would look for me when I'm in KL.../ count with your own fingers....you don't miss me that much now right?

Q: When are you coming back?
A: For short term/holiday basis, I'll be back at least 3 times in a year. I'll be back for about a week to spend most of my time with Daddy, Mom Mom, and you....
But I'll be coming back for good one day. Its either I truly know deep in my heart that the job doesn't suit me, or I got kicked in the ass by my boss - I'll be back! However, if things are going on well there, I'm having a 3 years plan. Well to get as much wealth power that I can whilst I'm still young & energetic (healthy sounds like a better word). On top of everything, I'll be back once Daddy & Mommy needs me to be with them. I won't spend too much time looking out without considering about them. After all, they are my main motivation to be out there....

So, that's about it.....God, please assign your Guardian Angel to my quest of self-discovery.....and just asking if You have an Angel that speaks Tagalog...?

Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu....

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I remembered hearing daddy sighed that his less-than-perfect life he have now is not being lucky enough to find any true friends ever. Most of his friends ~ be it school or work, had just crossed paths with him; never really left any footprints in his heart. Well, knowing daddy, I guess this is really something lacking in him. I hold his hands and say, "hey dude, no problem, you've got me. Friends forever, k..."

Friends forever....it's simple to get friends. But forever...?


Friends forever may sound too much like fairytale, but no doubt I have gained two great sisters in my life. Sherine + Sellina = double shot of fun, wacky, enjoyable recipe!

sherine: gosh, you will never know what type of connections we have. Beats all Digi, WiMax, whatever Celcom/Maxis territory. Imagine we can laugh at some stuffs together, but yet no one cracked any jokes. Or we can be talking nonsense and only we both knows there's always a meaningful and special care beneath each and every mou-lei-tau jokes we cracked. We have been through so much...because I think we both carry an important role in each other's growing years....I couldn't have asked for anything more as God has given me such great Sis.

sellina: heh....she can be out of her mind sometimes, but you can be guaranteed to get all sorts of surprises from her. To me, she's really a sweet and simple girl, but wrapped with so much kindness and sophisticating thoughts with her. People says, a person with a good heart glows on the outside. Take a look at top of her head, you can see that angelic ring....yea, it's good to have this little angel around because you won't miss any chance to laugh...

Sis, it's no longer a simple friendship we are leading. You are so much like family to me. You know how much I've prayed to have a big Sista....and now, not that I only got one but TWO...! love you both...muaks!

Mommy says...

Each time you have setback; you will emerge stronger. Irregardless winning or losing, you must have a serene heart. To live happily is to make your parent happy....

~translated by BAG~

Psychology

Please enjoy the story……

I had just successfully (and patiently) finished watching a HK drama…yea I don’t know what’s the series drama called. But surprisingly, I managed to really kau-tim it this time! No miss a single chapter! This is so not me. Therefore, there must be something very catching or interesting that locks my attention (and patience) with that 20 episodes.

Basically, the story’s about a group of psychologist working at a hospital treating a bunch of psychotic. Other than that, you should know how the story goes already huh…..typical…patients got sick in the head, doctor found out, patients refuse treatment, doctor tries his best, patients either cured or died regretfully in the end…

Of course if I were to compare, I prefer to watch House MD even it’s once per week. But this movie….catches my attention because it basically tells a story which I wanted to hear for so long. I’ve always feel that I’m somehow a “weirdo” in the family. I always get bullied, always treated unfairly, always been taken lightly, never the center of attention. But I love my parents so much. So what’s the wrong here?

It seems that I have very low self esteem because I was bullied but never dare to fight back. I’m also easily annoyed because I’m very closed up. I always hide in the closet because I feel that no one can protect me. Including myself. And so I learned that all these can be cured. I just need to relax. Yes, relax the best medicine.

I’m trying my best today.

Dr Koh: Psychological disturbance is not an illness can be treated with ease. If you got a patient with kidney failure, perform dialysis. If you have a diabetic patient, refrain from sugary food. Imagine you got a patient with personality disorder. Advice him to take an apple a day? It won’t keep the problem away.