There was nothing special in early July. It wasn't too difficult to live by, and nothing significant happened. Ehh ehh .. not really, I went holiday-ing at Makati last week, didn't I?
Had great moments at Makati. I always have. Love my 511 Studio Suite at Prince Tower. Much more homely than Taman Jaya *blek* don't tell Mom I said that. It's more exclusive partying at Manila too...no fret about drink n drive at all! And the only way to avoid hangover? Stay drunk, kuya & ate!!!!
ok ok....that's not what I want to note today. Yes, maybe part of it, but not the main reason.
July is an important month for Leo...he's coming out roaring, stretching his predator instincts.
This is your day, my Lion. Happy Birthday, and I love you. Now....you can be the Lion for a day...but please be my Dino again for the remaining 364 days!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Nest-ed
It is very weird when someone says 'I don't like to go Home, because I feel better, at ease outside'. I thought a home is like a nest. A birdie's nest. That place where the baby birds squeaking (I thought birds chirp??) asking for food, and mommy bird comes home spitting undigested worms to feed the babies...??!!? Isn't that nice to hear, but gross to imagine?
Sifu was playing an online personality test game with me, and I could still remember her words to me. She said that I'm the kind of species that needs to go out, not stay at home. She says success awaits me outside, and I should explore. And I stared blankly at her, I thought you said I should be home? You...didn't?
I don't want to doubt any decisions made. Not me. I hardly got a chance to do that. I just want to feel at ease, home or not irregardless. I just don't want to feel bullied anymore, home or not irregardless. Not to be treated unfairly, but I've no time for any yellow shirt emotional craze. I just want anyone to learn that I have boundaries too, that I can and have to say NO at times when you are not respecting me. I need them to know I have an option, if not at home, then outside.
Yes, I have an option. What left is some guts to rebel, all over again. If only I want to do so...or need to do so.
Sifu was playing an online personality test game with me, and I could still remember her words to me. She said that I'm the kind of species that needs to go out, not stay at home. She says success awaits me outside, and I should explore. And I stared blankly at her, I thought you said I should be home? You...didn't?
I don't want to doubt any decisions made. Not me. I hardly got a chance to do that. I just want to feel at ease, home or not irregardless. I just don't want to feel bullied anymore, home or not irregardless. Not to be treated unfairly, but I've no time for any yellow shirt emotional craze. I just want anyone to learn that I have boundaries too, that I can and have to say NO at times when you are not respecting me. I need them to know I have an option, if not at home, then outside.
Yes, I have an option. What left is some guts to rebel, all over again. If only I want to do so...or need to do so.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I'm bad in counting days
No, don't tell me there's only 12 months in a year, and June marks the half of it. And please with all mercy, don't remind me that July is coming to an end soon enough I re-visit my blog again the next login. I protest, as much as I would love to hold a year long street demonstration; Why people are busy rallying for politics but not science towards mortality. If we all don't age that fast, don't you think you got more time to think of politics, too? Win-Win!
I don't know what da "h" of things I have done in the first half of 2011. I thought I was watching the end-of-the-world movie '2012' many many many years ago not fretting a single drop of sweat it's approaching soon. Now, it's ironic because I want to get married on 20th December 2012. Just for the fun of playing with fate. If I'm fated to marry someone, it should not be doomsday. Or it is already doomsday when I finally think I am capable of carrying the title..Wifey! Wonder how would husby react when I say I want to marry him on doomsday. Lei wan yeh ar?!?! %#$&^*$%^@ !!
Rolling on the floor laughing.
Stop the crap. I still don't know what I did, and don't know what I should do. I am this clueless. Maybe not knowing the unknowing is a good sign. At least I'm still looking at the brighter side.
At least I am planning for marriage on doomsday. Rather than planning for any street demo on a not-so-doomsday.
I don't know what da "h" of things I have done in the first half of 2011. I thought I was watching the end-of-the-world movie '2012' many many many years ago not fretting a single drop of sweat it's approaching soon. Now, it's ironic because I want to get married on 20th December 2012. Just for the fun of playing with fate. If I'm fated to marry someone, it should not be doomsday. Or it is already doomsday when I finally think I am capable of carrying the title..Wifey! Wonder how would husby react when I say I want to marry him on doomsday. Lei wan yeh ar?!?! %#$&^*$%^@ !!
Rolling on the floor laughing.
Stop the crap. I still don't know what I did, and don't know what I should do. I am this clueless. Maybe not knowing the unknowing is a good sign. At least I'm still looking at the brighter side.
At least I am planning for marriage on doomsday. Rather than planning for any street demo on a not-so-doomsday.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Children are products from Reject Shop. They aren't perfect.
I would like to think (if merely thinking means denying)that I am not a family person. It is not easy to live a life under same roof with me. I am not a pleasant presence.
No matter how much I agree and support to filial peity, I think (means I am denying, again) that I am not a good daughter. Cos I can't seems to enjoy family life. I'd rather be alone most of the time, I almost wanted to say all the time. Undoubtedly there are those lonely times when I know nothing beats daddy's jokes or mom's cooking. Or even better, their unconditional love and concern with no bounderies. They are real flesh and blood. They are not (supposed) to be hypocrites. They are the only species that spreads unlimited aura of tender love and care.
Fingers crossed. I have never think that my parents doesn't love me. I know of the sacrifices and accomodation they have provided to me all these years. There's nothing wrong with them. It's ME. ME. ME. ME.
I want to have total silence when I needed to. And I can't tell them to shut up. I want to lie on the bed real bad. And I can't seems to forget they are waiting for me to brunch. I want to have some "thrills" in life. And I can't bear those worrying looks they are gonna have on their faces. I can't even handle heart attacks, anyway..So no....I can't be the one I want to be all the time cos I am staying with my family.
Unless if I am NOT staying with them, physically. Unless if I can't go distance, but yet am blessed with all the chances to be with them at those needed times, never afraid to regret should I be a little too late. Unless if I can pretend I don't love my parents at all. Unless....there's nothing less.
This is all so crap, you know. How's this smells different from bull's shit? Maybe he is right. I am a bad attitude person. I have bad temper. I am not easy to live with.
Why I care? Take it or leave it.
No matter how much I agree and support to filial peity, I think (means I am denying, again) that I am not a good daughter. Cos I can't seems to enjoy family life. I'd rather be alone most of the time, I almost wanted to say all the time. Undoubtedly there are those lonely times when I know nothing beats daddy's jokes or mom's cooking. Or even better, their unconditional love and concern with no bounderies. They are real flesh and blood. They are not (supposed) to be hypocrites. They are the only species that spreads unlimited aura of tender love and care.
Fingers crossed. I have never think that my parents doesn't love me. I know of the sacrifices and accomodation they have provided to me all these years. There's nothing wrong with them. It's ME. ME. ME. ME.
I want to have total silence when I needed to. And I can't tell them to shut up. I want to lie on the bed real bad. And I can't seems to forget they are waiting for me to brunch. I want to have some "thrills" in life. And I can't bear those worrying looks they are gonna have on their faces. I can't even handle heart attacks, anyway..So no....I can't be the one I want to be all the time cos I am staying with my family.
Unless if I am NOT staying with them, physically. Unless if I can't go distance, but yet am blessed with all the chances to be with them at those needed times, never afraid to regret should I be a little too late. Unless if I can pretend I don't love my parents at all. Unless....there's nothing less.
This is all so crap, you know. How's this smells different from bull's shit? Maybe he is right. I am a bad attitude person. I have bad temper. I am not easy to live with.
Why I care? Take it or leave it.
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