sick + alone = only lonely

What is the best indicator that you are all alone, you might think. Well, when you are sick (you don't need to be very sick like a sicko) and as you look around, you are all alone, that is when you are really lonely. Loneliness...is like a hole in the heart. The heart still pumps, just kinda irregular and uncomfortable. Meaning, you won't die out of loneliness....but it haunts you when thinking how long will this lasts.

Nah~ I'm not very sick. Just mild throat inflammation caused by overheated body temperature.But nevertheless, I've been feeling kinda empty for the past few days....

Am worrying dead for all at home. Bro's wedding is nearing, but a sudden spark of disharmony sets in. Don't know which black cat cursed Mom and Joyce...they can't possible get things right with each other. Of course, Dad and I are very upset with this situation, but reckoned it's out of our league to solve. Urrgghh....woman~

Am not quite enjoying work lately. The drama queen is out for a foul play again (and again and again....) and she is so affecting the aura at work. I struggled to find balance everyday and not let her screenplay defeat my peace...but I lost. She was last year's Grammy winner. Best Actress, Best Script, Best Sob, Best Casting, Best Plot. All I have to say is, "Get lost, bitch"

Well, maybe it's parts & pieces here and there that accumulates to my resentments to face life alone. And therefore, ladies and gentlemen...let's give your loudest applause to...loneliness.

You see, when a person is in doubt (I mean lots of doubt) the immune system goes weaker and weaker everyday. I pumped Vitamin C everyday, and yet am getting a cold paired with dumb throat infection now.

Life's ironic huh.

why Family?

JHPS: If u can comeback early 2 help ard. I dun think i b able 2 help anymore. Not only s does not respect me s also look dw on my son 4 being naughty n s is someone dat i care. I hv forgotten abt de past h s treated me cos give face 2 dad who brght me up.

YHFY: ur feel nw i understd.but all t years, all of us had done some thgs hurtful too.imagine if u terlanjur cakap n i'm mad at u, dnt u think its a waste of energy?

JHPS: I need time 2 digest but yr mom really 2 much. I been asking myself can i 4get. evytime i think abt it i will cry. Phaps u msn dad n ask him wat happen.

YHFY: i alrdy knw wht happen.i dnt blame u if angry or sad.my point is it worth 2keep this so long.as said,who nvr wronged?all of us did,but family nvr fails.

JHPS: De point is she never treat me as part f fly otherwise s wouldnt said to take ah tham or ah yee son 2 jump on de bed. i know wayne s naughty but a mom's luv 2wards their children r vy great. How s protects yew. My surname s ho

YHFY: if 1point like this u r nt family,think bck other points tht makes us family.wayne's birthday?home cook food?whn u had marriage problem? u can continue 2b like this n get angry.thn bcome like me n yew.d anger took our bond away for 7years.n ths time nvr return.so now on u dcide d road ahead.

JHPS: 4 de time being i need time 2 digest.

=========

Writing this, I don't mean to remember any sort of details which is happening at home now. I understand that, even if we are part of family; there are certain things that cannot be unified, because family values makes different meanings to every individuals.

I am writing this to remind myself, and to let you know; how important my family is to me. I don't grow up in a very big merry family. I only have dad, mom, bro, and aunt in my life when I was a kid. Whatever they said, or did...have been of greatest impact in molding this person I am today. Without them, what am I?

So at this age, when my family branches out -- Joyce's married so I have Wilson and Wayne. Bro's married and I have Carol. And later on, a few Ho's Jr to join in the bash.

I don't know how big will this family grow into. I just wish that every breath I have -- able to cherish all moments I have with them. I have missed so many magical happenings in the past out of ignorance, childishness and discontentment. I don't want to miss anything anymore.

That's why, your actions and words above hurts me very very deeply. I thought, without my presence at home, you would help me in taking good care of this family's harmony. You promised, that as long as we are together, that makes a family.

So c'mon dear. It's time to clear all your uncertainties away. Nothing, absolutely nothing can substitute the power of togetherness in a family. I loathes to see you sway away from this path.

top corporate jokes @ work

1. Risk Identified: Human Error.
Mitigation: Enhance and add in detection by various people in the team.
Great. I already told you the problem is human error. And yet, you tell me that you want to add in more human control in the process. Are you dumb or something?

2. Business Continuity Plan a.k.a Disaster Recovery Plan.
You said: Let's do preventive management this year (giggles)
Great. If the disaster can be prevented, why even cares to build a business continuity plan? Since you are darn great and can hold a typhoon still, I shouldn't really fret if company could not survive a disaster, right? Wrong! Now, stop thinking with you bust.

3. Performing Risk Assessment on a big chunk of manual adjustment report. I categorize all adjustments all by myself, and then assess the risk. Great. Now am I not the riskiest person to the company now? Dumb people can't be resurrected.

4. "For your learning purpose. Not compulsory."
Great. So your message means that it is not compulsory to learn, or continue learning in this company. No wonder you never improved. Oppss...you know how to spell "improvement"?

5. "Vlookup formula is used to compare 2 sheets in an Excel file. I've seen people using it, but I don't know how to use it. So I expect you to learn, and do it for me (before I appear stupid in front of boss). Great. No further explanation needed, just refer to point no.4 above.

6. "I have looked in the course content but unable to identify which slides bl is asking. Please assist. Thanks." Great. Means you don't understand your boss, and you expect me to understand your boss. So, if I can really understand your boss, and able to please your boss better than you do -- What the fuck are you doing here in the first place? Go home and spend the rest of your life masturbating. At least you are doing something for a purpose, Big-O!

Urrrgghhh.....

Well, the fun about life is to know there will always be dumb and dumber people living a longer life than you!

Ahhhh......

Mom's memoire

This picture was taken way back in CNY 2007. Mom was mesmerized by the arrangement of the paper mannequin, as it fully reflects one of Grandpa's photo which he took when he was in younger days.

Grandpa was a teacher. Not just any ordinary teacher, Mom said; because he was most well known for his calligraphy at that time. He wrote many great characters, and once, a Minister took his calligraphy as a gift. As I was told.

I didn't have a chance to witness Grandpa in his limelight years of Chinese calligraphy. But this picture I posted, the background of which Mom stood...really reminds me of a picture I saw when I was a little kid. It was a black & white picture, Ah Kung was wearing a simple white tee, holding up a 毛笔(máo bǐ). His head down, writing something on a big piece of paper in the photo. He too, had a very big calligraphy with the word 神 (Shén) hanging on the wall. Oh yea, Grandpa was still wearing his favorite black thick rimmed spectacle in the picture....

So this is great. Two stories told in just one picture.

I wonder, if that day would come; what are the things that will make me remember SuperMom & SuperDad too? What are the simplest thing that would be engraved in my memories, and just like how Mom remembered Grandpa too?

Buddha, you knew I would be the luckiest kid, didn't you?

shopping therapy

It doesn't hurt to indulge in some crazy shopping spree once in awhile. That is my dad's philosophy. So, as a filial kid, I always do as he said.

So I went shopping today. Til I almost drop. I went out with Vivian Ng, and we both shopped and window shopped. We both landed with our favorite bags. I got mine at 1400bucks and hers at 790 bucks. But I think her's nicer. Czeh...~ the grass is always greener on the other side, no?

Other than that, we hit La Senza, Face Shop, Skin Food, Landmark, The Ramp, Mango, and nearly got into Hard Rock. But we saved Hard Rock for another GNO next time, maybe with more gals then.

Phew....it was exciting and challenging. My heart races whenever I stood next to the cashier. Transferring the currency to my own country's, it felt like Additional Maths exams again.

But the bag is heaven for me. I didn't really fret despite the price, because I could hear the bag whispering; take me home....take me home...

So there goes my shopping day. What a good therapy. And let's start counting days for my next pay check.

my first Mongo....~

Time Start 2306
Time Ends approx. 0030

I am making my first Mongo a.k.a red beans dessert here, at Easton Place, Makati City. Well not directly red bean only, cos I added in the green beans too. Mom says it's more soothing if the greens are added, and I love it for colors!

Apart from chrysanthemum tea and barley, never tried with any other dessert ever. I couldn't find those red & green beans until last week at Landmark Supermarket.

Yayyy ^oo^

**yenny loves desserts**

first typhoon 2010....

Greet Mabuhay! to Typhoon Conson (or known as Typhoon Basyang)anytime between 13th to 15th July 2010. It speeds in at approximately 120km/h and Metro Manila are expected to be affected by heavy rain, strong winds and minor floods.

Duhhh...who doesn't know typhoons bring rain, wind and flood?

I don't know. This typhoon doesn't sound as scary as Typhoon Pepeng which moved at 200++km/h but precautions must be taken too.

I was soaked in rain today, and it felt icy cold. Gosh, hope it won't develop into a cold. Better pump in my VitC soon....and lighting's at office & home today started blinking...on and off...feels like an alert that there might be short of electrical power soon. Planned to bring my jacket with hood to work everyday. Or else, camping in the office is required (again?!?!?)

What-ever gonna be. METTA to all. Especially to those residents at low land area. May God always be with you to give you safety, warmth and lotsa love. Amen.

World Cup 2010 -- Final

Okaysss...it is so difficult to wake up this morning. It feels that the full burden of WC stress is finally off-shoulder, and I just want to have my sweety dreamy sleep again. No more late nights, not anybody asks me what's the match tonight be about, no more betting and betting and losings and winnings...

Spain : Best Grammy Awards 2010
Spain players : Best Actors of the Year
Netherlands : Best Sour Face Awards 2010
Netherlands players : Nominated best person to eat-dead-cat
THE GAME : Boring. Slow. Waste of Time.

So, wonder if I'd still be couching in front of the TV in 2014 for another World Cup again.....~?

GrandPa & GrandMa

I'm suddenly thinking of my maternal grandparents while lazying on the bed. I was not extremely close to grandpa&ma, but they were my only "oldest" people in the family. Well, not really. I had a errrmmm....step-paternal-grandma who lived in Singapore, but we seldom get together. It was most probably once in a year. And the fondest memories I have with my granny were her *yummy* chicken stew...she loved Guinness and she never gets drunk...and she speaks in a funny accent.

Now, let's get back to my maternal grandpa&ma....they are much more closer to me in the heart. But not so close that they would hug me or play with me when I was a kid. They are just like SuperMom, very traditional and shy sometimes.

Mom would bring me to Gombak every Saturday morning when I was a kid. Dad will either fetch us there, or we would enjoy a Mini Bus ride from Central Market and take Bus No. 11 all the way to Gombak. A small, wooden kampung house where my grandpa&ma resided.

Mom would enjoy her best Kopi-O with grandma while chatting away, while grandpa would puff his favorite "curut" at the living room. Grandpa loved his Teh-O Kau...he drinks it everyday without fail. Then later in the evening, Mom Grandma and sometimes Bro will play Rummy...while I naughty around the house. Or grandpa will bring me out to the Chinese Ah-Pek Medicine Shop and buy my top fav Golden Grass Kia-Moy...金草酸莓...I can't find this snack anymore nowadays, grandpa...

The lesson I learned from Grandpa:
It was nearing August. As the country marks the patriotic month, there will be lots of planes, helicopters, what-so-ever making their routine training to prepare for the celebration day. One hot afternoon, I was sitting at the living room with Grandpa, when a roaming sound of planes (or jets?) zoomed over the sky. Grandpa quickly covered his ears with both hands, and gave me an irritated but worried expression. I told grandpa "Kung...nothing la, those malay p*gs (my ah-kung hates malays) are just training and preparing for merdeka maa....." and then my grandpa said "you know, last time during the war, it sounded exactly like this one too"....And then there was just silence....I was dumb-founded. I didn't know what else to say, because I knew he had seen so much more than me. I would never feel what he had really gone through....


GrandPa. I never had a chance to take a picture with Grandma...

This scene flashed through my mind a moment ago. It makes me wonder...there are certain memories in life that we can never opt to forget. Should there be so many chapters in life, grandpa would never forget those days when war was just under his nose. He could remember some scenes, some noises...some smell....so real as if it's happening again.

The mind is much greater than any processor, or memory disk, or what-da'hell IT advancement human is creating now. Only the human mind contain such ability to remember; and when it strikes you, it feels just like yesterday.

Me too, are haunted by certain memories in life. There are those happy moments, which I'm afraid to recall because knowing happiness makes the unhappy one(s) seemingly more painful than it is. And those bad encounters, as I said, could be so real when retrieved from my memories...it hurts just the same way it was.

I don't know if I would choose to erase all of them should I have the ability to do so. But if I forget, will you still remember me?

Hachikō ... based on a true love story

I've just finished the movie Hachiko: A Dog's Story. I was crying much worse than I did for Marley & Me. It wasn't sadness that brings the flow, it was a sense of guiltiness and inadequacy....wondering why ignorant humans can't even be compared to the smallest portion of a dog's loyalty, love and passion.

I wasn't sad that Hachi's master passed away in a sudden. My heart didn't break knowing that despite his master's fate, Hachi decided to stay keep and wait at the train station. What makes me going weak was knowing that it took all 9 years for Hachi to wait....and only by the end of Hachi's breath, was Hachi able to meet with his master again. It took Hachi 9 damn years...but Hachi never gave up. Not a single day. Hachi never missed any trains that his master could possibly commuted. Hachi just waited...through thick and thin. That's Hachi's love.

What about You, humans? How long could you possibly wait for someone whom you said you've loved? 9 hours? 9 days? Human's experience told me 8 days. It only took 8 days of waiting at the train station to give up of love known for 6 years.

And God gave humans ability of speech, emotions, expressions...but God only gave Hachi the warmest four-legged gift.

And even though Hachi could not speak about love, Hachi took 9 years to prove the strongest bonds ever...just to show You what love really means...

Hachikō ... a tribute to man's best friend

Based on a true story from Japan, Hachikō : A Dog's Tale is a moving film about loyalty and the rare, invincible bonds that occasionally form almost instantaneously in the most unlikely places.

In the modern day, a class full of young students is giving oral presentations about personal heroes. A boy named Ronnie stands up and begins to tell of 'Hachikō ', his grandfather's dog. Years before, an Akita puppy is sent from Japan to America, but his cage falls off the baggage cart at an American train station, where he is found by college professor Parker Wilson (Richard Gere). Parker is instantly captivated by the dog and when Carl, the station controller, refuses to take him, Parker takes the puppy home overnight. His wife Cate (Joan Allen) is insistent about not keeping the puppy.

The next day Parker expects that someone will have contacted the train station, but no one has. He sneaks the pup onto the train and takes him to work, where a Japanese college professor, Ken, translates the symbol on the pup's collar as 'Hachi', Japanese for 'good fortune' and the number 8. Parker decides to call the dog 'Hachi'. Ken points out that perhaps the two are meant to be together. Parker attempts to play fetch with Hachi, but he refuses to join in, whilst Cate receives a call about someone wanting to adopt Hachi. However, after seeing how close her husband has come to Hachi, Cate agrees that they can keep him.

A few years later, Hachi and Parker are as close as ever. Parker however, is still mystified by Hachi's refusal to do normal, dog-like things like chase and retrieve balls. Ken advises him that Hachi will only bring him the ball for a special reason. One morning, Parker leaves for work and Hachi sneaks out and follows him to the train station, where he refuses to leave until Parker walks him home. That afternoon, Hachi sneaks out again and walks to the train station, waiting patiently for Parker's train to come in. Eventually Parker relents and walks Hachi to the station every morning, where he leaves on the train. Hachi leaves after Parker's safe departure, but comes back in the afternoon to see his master's train arrive and walk with him home again. This continues for some time, until one afternoon Parker attempts to leave, but Hachi refuses to go with him. Parker eventually leaves without him, but Hachi chases after him, holding his ball. Parker is surprised but pleased that Hachi is finally willing to play fetch with him but, worried he will be late, leaves on the train despite Hachi barking at him. At work that day, Parker, still holding Hachi's ball, is teaching his music class when he passes out from cardiac arrest.

At the train station, Hachi waits patiently as the train arrives, but there is no sign of Parker. He remains, lying in the snow, for several hours, until Parker's son-in-law Michael comes to collect him. The next day, Hachi returns to the station and waits, remaining all day and all night. As time passes, Cate sells the house and Hachi is sent to live with her daughter Andy, Michael, and their new baby Ronnie. However, at the first opportunity, he escapes and eventually finds his way back to his old house and then to the train station, where he sits at his usual spot, eating hot dogs given to him by Jas, a local vendor. Andy arrives soon after and takes him home, but lets him out the next day to return to the station.

Hachi begins sleeping under a broken train carriage, keeping vigil during the day and surviving off food and water given to him by Jas and the local butcher. One day, a man named Teddy, a newspaper reporter, enquires about Hachi and asks if he can write a story about him. People begin to send money to Carl to buy Hachi food. Ken, Parker's friend, reads the article, and offers to pay for Hachi's upkeep. He realizes that although it has been a year, Hachi wants to, and has to, wait for his master, and wishes him a long life.

Years pass, and still Hachi waits. Cate visits Parker's grave, where she meets Ken, and she says that even though it has been a decade, she still misses him. Arriving at the station, she is stunned to see Hachi, old, dirty and weak, still maintaining his vigil. Overcome, Cate sits and waits for the next train with him. At home, Cate tells the now ten-year-old Ronnie about Hachi. That night, Hachi makes his way to his usual spot, where he lies down and falls asleep for the last time, dreaming of Parker, where his spirit get along with Hachi, as they both ascend to heaven.

Ronnie, back in his classroom, finishes his report, telling his classmates that Hachi, for his love and loyalty, will forever be his hero. That afternoon, he walks his own Akita puppy named Hachi along the same track his grandfather once walked with his own Hachi.



The real Hachiko was born in Odate Japan in 1923. When his master, Dr Hidesaburō Ueno, a professor at the Tokyo University, died in May, 1925, Hachi returned to the Shibuya train station the next day, and for the next nine years, to wait. Hachiko died in March, 1934. Today, a bronze statue of Hachiko sits in his waiting spot outside the Shibuya railroad station.

Source: wikipedia.org

prediction.....or intuition...? WC 2010

I have guessed the outcome for today's match between Brazil and Netherlands accurately. I was hanging around at the pantry late evening to catch up with my routine coffee brew, when a colleague rushed in and asked "hey dude, any predictions for the match later *wink*...." Hmmppphh...all you guys coming over for me to get predictions huh~ Pay me RM3.60, I'll fetch you some tips.

So, I started my feng-shui crapz and told that fella...."Y'know, Brazilians are bulls. And you know what bulls does? They uses all their cocky energy and try to impress the viewers once the game starts. But a bull is never any cunning than the Dutch Ladies. Go for 1st Goal Brazil, then FT smacks down on Netherlands larrr....." and my friend was like dropped-jaw and said "sure-boh?"

Kan-ni-nia...believe me. I have great intuitions. That's what I'm partly paid for right?

All......Right. Netherlands 2 : 1 Brazil
==THE IMPOSSIBLE ARE GETTING POSSIBLE AT WORLD CUP 2010==

Do I need to further prove my intuitive skills..?