自我催眠

那曾经走过的路口 我停了你却走
看你背对背的走
原来怪我没智慧的天分你才要走

我想摀住我的耳朵听不见你说
我会不说 不想说
怕说了也没有用

我睡在没有你的房间
寂寞更加明显

我走在没有你的世界
却走不到永远

我渐渐的自我催眠
却回不到从前
我渐渐的自我催眠
慢慢闭上双眼

Hello, Bob Marley.. Who?

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” – Bob Marley

________________

Who's Bob Marley? And what's his direct translation about this perfect guy thingy huh? Yeah, I voiced my resentment maybe, plainly because I think he is so damn right. I mean this Marley guy had just hit my red button. Something I wouldn't admit it is right because it is just so damn right. I am resenting because this imperfect guy (whoever this is, no relevation here) would finally take all for granted because he knows there isn't any perfect guy afterall. And who gets the hurt then and then? Yes, that hopeless, helpless, poor lady that pours all out for that imperfect guy who made her smiled once, think twice and bla bla bla. This is fairytale gone wrong. Guys can't just forgets responsibilities, break promises and make a girl cry all because nobody is perfect. It is not an excuse to hurt a girl and no sorry after that. And blame who? Blame this Marley guy. But we, girls, all knows exactly how true the statement is...because we have all fallen for this imperfect guy and it stays deep deep in our memories, forever...scattered. 

Sigh. 

Marriage isn't for me

Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Marriage is about family. I realized that I had forgotten my dad's advice. While Kim's side of marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

by Seth Adam Smith

A literal odessy. Powered by Blog

My great housemate

Hey fishie fishie

You came into my residence when I needed companion most. Together, we made this home. I always see you in that corner, beaming despite in the dark..always welcoming. Your graceful swims reminds me that 'life goes on and on and on...' and you did really kept me go on. And yes, go on move forward I will. 

Today. All of you. Go to the Light. I believe and I'd pray you will be reborn into a realm of happiness, of a Land where the Dharmma is preached. May Metta be with you, everywhere anywhere.