so much love for Selina and Diong

It's princess Selina and Ah Diong wedding today. For this, princess S releases a song to all for the very first time after the freaky accident. The song 任家萱 Selina – 谢谢你们 爱我的每个人.....a very beautiful song just like her.

At this moment, I think God must have also spent a little more time on her. She's bestowed with boundless entertainment talent paired with world's greates BFFs and soulmate Hebe and Ella. Then she's got great dad and mom, eventhough her sister do sometimes acta little weird when I see her on tv.

And girls must be so green in jealousy when Diong confesses love at the concert.....it felt like real fairytale comes true. But boompphh...our (fans) world gone dark and gloomy about the accident. Many gone fiery and cursed the director and other movie crews for neglected safety measures. I was neutral, eventhough it's painful to know she's put to such test.

But admist any aggravating endeavor, God was just trying to prove to us how real love should exist, and who is the lucky one to savor it. And He had chosen Selina among so many others.

We no longer complain or resent now. In fact, we are more than happy to see her in wedding gown, getting married, Something we know Selina loved to do most once in a lifetime. As for me, it is most touching to know people are happy for you, and knowing there are thousands out there loving you is such great bonus. So yes, God must have spent more time on her. Metta.




痛 在 眼 中 变 成 泪 在 心 中 变 成 灰
tòng zài yǎn zhōng biàn chéng lèi zài xīn zhōng biàn chéng huī
没 有 什 麽 能 安 慰
méi yǒu shén me néng ān wèi
怕 被 时 间 变 成 累 被 想 像 变 成 悲
pà bèi shí jiān biàn chéng lèi bèi xiǎng xiàng biàn chéng bēi
希 望 都 被 粉 碎
xī wàng dōu bèi fěn suì

不 安 有 时 会 崩 溃 有 时 会 怨 怼
bù ān yǒu shí huì bēng kuì yǒu shí huì yuàn duì
好 像 怎 麽 对 待 都 不 对
hǎo xiàng zěn me duì dài dōu bú duì
看 得 出 你 隐 藏 多 少 的 疲 惫
kàn dé chū nǐ yǐn cáng duō shǎo de pí bèi
却 还 是 坚 持 着 爱 不 断 加 倍
què hái shì jiān chí zhe ài bú duàn jiā bèi
让 我 感 动 也 让 我 愧 对
ràng wǒ gǎn dòng yě ràng wǒ kuì duì

谢 谢 你 们 爱 我 的 每 个 人
xiè xiè nǐ men ài wǒ de měi gè rén
在 我 的 人 生 最 像 一 场 恶 梦 的 旅 程
zài wǒ de rén shēng zuì xiàng yì chǎng è mèng de lǚ chéng
陪 我 挣 脱 勇 敢 地 去 醒 来
péi wǒ zhèng tuō yóng gǎn dì qù xǐng lái
当 我 的 护 卫 为 我 祷 告 心 灵 更 强 韧
dāng wǒ de hù wèi wéi wǒ dǎo gào xīn líng gèng qiáng rèn

谢 谢 你 们 爱 我 的 每 个 人
xiè xiè nǐ men ài wǒ de měi gè rén
让 我 努 力 後 可 以 谢 谢 自 己 很 坦 诚
ràng wǒ nǔ lì hòu ké yǐ xiè xiè zì jǐ hěn tǎn chéng
会 想 不 通 或 绝 望 到 躲 开
huì xiǎng bù tōng huò jué wàng dào duǒ kāi
但 你 们 做 的 总 让 我 想 坚 强 负 责 任 为 了 爱 重 生
dàn nǐ men zuò de zǒng ràng wǒ xiǎng jiān qiáng fù zé rèn wèi le ài chóng shēng

心 摆 脱 夜 的 黑 往 蓝 天 而 飞 被 阳 光 包 围
xīn bǎi tuō yè de hēi wǎng lán tiān ér fēi bèi yáng guāng bāo wéi
只 为 了 你 一 句 我 笑 得 好 美
zhǐ wèi le nǐ yí jù wǒ xiào dé hǎo měi
我 忍 住 了 太 漫 长 的 泪
wǒ rěn zhù le tài màn cháng de lèi

看 得 出 你 隐 藏 多 少 的 疲 惫
kàn dé chū nǐ yǐn cáng duō shǎo de pí bèi
却 还 是 坚 持 着 爱 不 断 地 加 倍
què hái shì jiān chí zhe ài bú duàn dì jiā bèi
让 我 感 动 也 让 我 愧 对
ràng wǒ gǎn dòng yě ràng wǒ kuì duì

~bla bla bla...real crapz

Here comes the rainy season...and thunder storms too! The word 'khatulistiwa' keeps repeating in my mind right now. It must be some word I learned in Geography class monkey years ago. I forgot what it defines, but it must mean something like hot, humid and fair amount of rain throughout the years. And that fair number of rain probabilities, it might just be happening right now.

How's life? SAME. No extraordinary surprises. But no news is good news. I just gotta stick to it. Feet firmly on da ground! Jeezus, like I can fly !?!?

November soon. Look forward to my trip to the south with my loved one. And then see many more loved ones there. My loved one and my many Manila buddies there, to be precise. It's Kok Sheng's and Jess wedding, and I'd love to go to Melaka/Muar and maybe JB/Singapore right then. Whatever it is, hope it will be an enjoying one. Yayyy...away from home again! Short happiness is better than no happiness.

Then...should be awaiting for December to come soon. If I can enrol and pass the DRI examination, and certified myself a ABCP or CBCP, that would be my proudest achievement in 2011. After which, I can wrap the year with much confidence and satisfaction. I still think I will. I still believe I can. Thinking and believing is better than zero brain activity. I'd be certified a zombie if I do.

Yea! Not to wrap things up yet, 2011. I still have a Bangkok Xmas trip to look forward to. First Xmas with Mom Dad abroad. Thai Green Curry with Duck Meat. Pineapple Fried Rice topped with crunchy Cashew. Red Hot Tom Yum Gong. Deep Fried Oyster Thai-style. Sticky Mango!. Fresh Coconut Juice. Stomach's Growling now. No, that's not a dish name. It's making me hungry. And I'd love to make my parents happy, if this is real happiness to them. But Dad would certainly give me the big smile during the exclusive night cruise.

Do something is better than do nothing. You know it best, when you do nothing at all....

drowned in a messy mind

I have no idea how to be collective again. Thoughts are scattered like broken pieces of glass. It all started when......I don't have the courage to continue this bravery anymore. I am so stuck in a tangible resentment, full of doubtful "why" echoing in my restless soul. I don't find my attachment with AZ amusing. Like the chinese says, a pail of cold water immersing over my burning motivation. And then those indescribable senses about love, too! I've lost all controls of coordination between speech, attitude and actions. My brain says go ahead, but my face soured with zipped lips. I am such a turn-off and no matter how I blame it on raging hormones, I know something is so not right. And then family. I am suffocated with confusion because I keep on doubting if I am really needed to be home at all. I don't think my SuperParent really need me as much as I used to think, but I want to feel useful at the same time. As much as that, I am struggling with lack of personal spaces at home. Even my room is pressuring me. And let's not start talking about other details of my daily condiments yet. It may sound more like a failed recipe for life, and I don't want to affect your appetite here. Anyhow, I don't know which factor influenced me most. I've gotta start finding hidden objects in my cerebral cortex now...

Lost in my mind-map

What a day! and what an October I'm gonna have this 2011...!

I've got such adverse mood this month. This is just coming into the 6th day of the month, and I am already KO-ed by most of the people..matters and situations. I am tired.

I am now working in a very...messy organization. Not that the arrangements are messy. The way people work...are all tangled up. Way too many weirdos, procrastinators, hypocrites and MORONS. yes! Morons. Like Dad says, morons are everywhere and they are assembling at AZ. I've been so restless at work, so messed up that I worked my ass off. And the pain in my ass is transmitting to my head. Gawd damn headache. I hate this situation. If not for BCM, hell I would stay!

I am also imagining things (again, like I usually do). I am imagining him. Words that he would say, gestures when he react, and those sweeter moments we used to have. I have been building images from my right brain so much, that at times I forgot who am I really thinking about. Stop pulling your own leg, yen. There are things that's not meant to be, no matter how much you think about everyday.

I want to leave home. When I try to define home, I don't see faces I love to see each day. I just picture it as a square box with a roof top. And a dog. Like those 'orang lidi' cartoon kids love to draw. Other than that...I look forward to blue skies somewhere out there. Like the "M" shape birds (in kid's drawings) flying (without legs)...like freedom in an exquisite way. Like, I am writing and activating my right brain now.

Jeezus...I am tired. I can fall asleep now. Time to switch off my brain GPS! No matter how tricky, LIFE goes on, baby!