Saturday, March 30, 2013

I can't

There are four puppies up for adoption. They are equally cute, dopey eyes and mischievous. They have every rights to be cared for, loved and cuddled for. They are innocent.

But I can't. Their every movement reminds me of leo. Every little steps those little paws touched the ground, those eyes. I remembered leo. And I just can't stop thinking. And ask why. Why leo. Why I didn't do enough to not let it happened. Why I can't forget that look. That last look leo gave us at the vet's door. That forever goodbye and never come back look. And yes I could still hear you loud and clear leo. That scream of terror. I just watched. I just stood there and I couldn't do anything else. Whatever you have been through. All those we have been through together. Is just like forever. Forever in me.

I am just not ready. Sorry pups. Sorry leo.

Fly like angry bird

I am flying today!







Tuesday, March 26, 2013

positive optimist!

Don't control the situation. Control the emotions that goes along with it.

A smile just ain't difficult to do. Good morning and say cheeez, hongkie !!



Thursday, March 21, 2013

before and after

Here goes another piece of judgmental injustice.

You are not making a fuss out of anything. Not yet.

Stop telling people of what you planned for the future, because your past is still uncleaned. You see, theoretically it looks like you are en route to a new life. You may pretend that your past is certainly over. But c'mon man. Do as you preach. Your past ain't over yet because you didn't let it to. You are securing each masterpieces and yet sarcastically convincing that the header is on.

That was crap.

Be fair, be a real man. Be fair to whatever you want to in future, and be a man to act on it. Patience and faith both are priceless but once traded, you can never get it back.

how did Karma knows..?

Interesting. What comes around, goes around. Humans are always living comfortably in state of ignorance and egoism. But don't be too sure, because karma knows. Karma have been there, all around, all the time.

Today's cause, tomorrow's effect. Tomorrow will surely come.

Thanks, Dharma.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

let's Quote

People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything ~ Thomas Sowell

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problem is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership ~ Colin Powell

A good commander will not send his soldier to die in a battle he would not fight himself. A good leader will not assign tasks to his staffs that he wouldn't have the passion to accomplish himself ~ yhfy

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Lessons learned universally

I reckon life gives the best education one can ever get. We are all coming back for a reason, and continuous learning must be the compulsory subject.

Like said, people learn in the hard way sometimes. Or most of the time. If it is not hard hitting enough, we tend to forget and repeat the same mistakes again. Yes, that's painful, repeated mistakes.

I have learned and still learning, to be more vocal about my own emotions. I have learned that assumptions are not to be compromised, and still learning to be truthful whenever I can.

But I'm just so very tired of the unheard. I've said it like countless times, and what is the point when people aren't listening? Or maybe that ray of sound did travel across, people can just care less any of it. Then, what's the main purpose after all?

It is more painful when I make the effort to say, but it is not listened. I'd rather hold it, let it be and believes that life lesson will hit us hard when time comes. By then, whether it hit so damn hard on you or me, karma knows.

Sometimes, I'm very happy living in my own state of originality. Because I couldn't care less too.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Memorable touchpoints

I am very stuck in Wisma MCA attending a non political presentation meeting. It is raining meow and woof out there, I can't leave!!! I just want to blab here.

Memorable touch-points. Hmmmm this is good ignition.

People says like 'wow such memorable experience' or teary eyed 'I won't forget tonight'.... Getting serious, we rarely remember the full version of those moments. Our juicy brain is connected by lots of neurons, which sparks pieces of memories here and there. And unlikely it is played like a movie.

Close your eyes, concentrate. How much of an important moment in your life plays like a movie now? Or do they come across as somewhat stagnant or slow moving memories?

I remember ah gong's herbal sour plum wrapped in brown paper envelopes. I remember popo's favorite colonel's burger. I remember leo's sleeping corner. I remember them like pictures; stagnant but rich in feelings and emotions. They are not here, but touch-points are remembered. Forever.

The guy front here is still not done with his selling craze. Ok, a marketing guy blabbing, is not foreign for me. I have a marketing guy at home, getting ready to blab out whole life together *opppsssie who?

But I am thankful for this marketing guy...this guy in front, not the guy at home *blekkkkk because he started with Memorable Touch-points today. Not too bad for some reflection to do at such a boring service launching day.
*yawnZzz

I wana go home to the other marketing guy.....

Saturday, March 9, 2013

09.03.2012 : Our first milestone

Two homo-sapiens, didn't grew up obediently, even a little rebellious and mischievous. Had a few uncounted for relationships, travelled far and met at a foreign place. Became friends, had first conversation in a pantry!

And they met again, out of all but blessings from a religious cause. If Dharma is the Way, it leads them Here today.

From the moment the Promise is made, no one could assure only colorful shades ahead. But essentially... believe that despite pouring rains, the sun will bring the rainbow rays again.

So, the day to officiate starting of the Journey is here. And after today, all similarities and differences will be combined for a joyous synergy.

Let's hold hands, and become good teammates!


Thursday, March 7, 2013

those things without price tags

Today is the day. Like 20-ish years back, I anxiously waited for Daddy's car to arrive the school gate. And while waiting, I'd brag to my school bus friends that my Daddy is coming to pick me up, and then he will bring me to french fries lunch, and then walk at the mall, and then ice cream and then this and then that.

Not Daddy waiting for me at the gate today. I dated my father for lunch. And by that, means I care shit about unanswered calls on my desk, gawd damn endless meetings and couldn't care less about work at all.
I am having lunch with Daddy.

It feels extremely wholesomely good to leave my work, and back to family bonding. I really should do more of these. Bonding is such an under rated word in my blog. I must use it more often. Isn't this the only way to a successful relationship?

I am still over excited about lunching with Daddy. I am still very very contented. I am also very blessed.

P/s: as I talked about waiting for daddy at school gate, it tweeted me about having someone waiting for me after work at the front or back foyer everyday. Of which, I am equally thankful for, and loving every moment of it.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

cloudy Leo!

Such a beautiful sunny Saturday we all got today... Happy Saturday.

On this cheerful weather moment, I am loving the cloud formations. Yea, some may be hating this blaring hot temperature. Especially us Malaysian, we'd rather be hibernating in full blast air-con, not yea?

But coming out, I see happy clouds. I see Leo in form of clouds, for two times. I first saw Leo standing in his hind legs, his cutie little fur ball tail protruding. I was already more than delighted. And then along the way ahead, the clouds came in Leo's close up face formation. This round his ears, nose, and little of tongue sticking out.

And I just thought, yea it's almost a year Leo left me. It's almost a year Leo playing at Rainbow Heaven with other good doggies. And it's almost a year that loneliness evolve to thankfulness of every blessings I could simply have. Almost a year of knowing so truly, be happy is the only means forgetting the pain of losing Leo.

Leo, thanks for this meeting today. I know you have never really leave me alone. Play around there, enjoy the rainbow drips. We will be together again when time is right. I believe.