Stellentians

Once you are Stellent-Family, you are forever a Stellent-Family....!!!!
[roar...cheers...squeks...claps...]

Yea right. My eye's rolling now. What..?!?! You can't see my eyes rolling amidst the darkness..?!??! Too bad...you missed a good one.

Hey all you fakes. Get your ass home and sleep earlier. There's still another day of faking to do tomorrow, and the day after that and after that...and after that...OK...

Don't think I will fall in love with this bunch of fakes anyway. Good news; no reason for me to stay any longer than as planned.

And to all you fakes, bravo for such good fakes. Congratulations, you have got yourself a Grammy for starring in The Rat Race. Sorry I can't join all of you for long, because I'm a Guinea Pig disguising as a rat all this while. Pardon me..

And lastly, thank you for paying this Guinea Pig such good rat money....wtf lolx!

what a thr33some!

1. Wesak Day
It's Wesak Day today. I had no single idea that it's a BIG day for all Buddhist today. Working abroad, especially when in a Christianity dominant country, can really swipe away many sorts of important calendar days from me. Well, of course I'm nothing to a devoted Buddhist (but hey, I've taken refuge to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha....and I'm Sunetra)...but I'd still miss those Wesak celebrations way back home. A night before the full moon, many Buddhists would gather at temples and pay homage to the Buddha, listen to Dharma talks, pay respects to all Sangha, and of course have some fun time with fellow Buddhists. There will be lots of lights, flowers, offerings and carnivals on the streets too! Let all sing joys to our great Enlighten One, his Dharma and Sangha...may there be love if not peace among all beings. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu.

2. I bumped the corner of my left eye to a chair, and my contact lens clashed into 3 pieces in my very eyes. I could have been a pirate from the Caribbean, if unlucky. I rushed to the toilet, and let the running water flooded my whole eye for as long as I could. Gosh, I was worry sick. Now, there's slight bruise at the corner, and I prayed hard that there isn't any single piece of broken contact lens left in my eye. I kept on blinking my eye, hoping the motion would signal me should there are any foreign objects left inside. I think it's ok cos till now, there's no pain nor redness in my eye. Hope it's alright.

3. Some painters and workmen starts their renovation work at HOME today. Dad didn't have to take leave to stay HOME with Mom as today's a public holiday. But I couldn't help but called HOME, mostly because I want to be nosy about how works going on at HOME. Dad says he's getting the plaster ceiling done at the living room, and get new coat of paint all around the house. To get ready to celebrate Bro's wedding in September 2010. The whole project will take a week's time, and after that plumbers will do their job, and after which some wire-men will move in to do new lighting, air-con and visual & sound system. Phew~~~what hassle. All because Mr Ho Jr is getting married. Lucky he got a good wife, if not he'd better be paying for all those expenses...lolx! From the call, I could hear LEO barking, begging to be released. Mom must have leashed him afraid he would do any circus shows in front of those Indo workers. Bet those Indo want to cook him for dinner. Naughty LEO. And I MISS HOME. I really do. Mother Fairy please make my days here in Makati to move faster than 60 minutes per hour, so I can be HOME earlier. And when I'm HOME, please adjust it to be 90 minutes per hour....or slower...ka-ching!

Dinner with Mr. Koh BL

It was heartfelt appreciation that big boss COO Mr. Koh Boon Loong flew all the way from UK office and organized a get-together dinner with us here at Makati city...

Maybe it looks like a way for him to "spy" on us staffs here once a while, but he is truly a genuine boss wanting to care and understand what's going on. The dinner was not corporate at all, we didn't talk a single thing about work. He shared with us some light stories about life, family and friends...chatting joyfully about bits pieces of life-away-from-home.

He brought us to a Chinese restaurant (which I repents why it's not Japanese cos I voted for that..) but little did I know, he enjoys way of a proper Chinese cuisine. A very china-man at heart even though he's been spending most of his time at UK, he wants us to taste every meal slowly; sipping off with very good chinese tea.

Loved the Peking Duck and Tangerine Prawns...made me remember all my favorite dish at HOME. Also, loved the Duck Salad wrapped in big green leafy cabbage! Aww...didn't have my camera with me and afraid was too sakai to take picture with my hp....hoo-hoo..

and the best part is, this boss didn't initiate any irregular activities after meal...which is a norm here in Makati! hah!

Shrek ..Forever After..

There...there...Shrek has finally come to an ending episode, where Forever After is told to all audiences, young and old...

I loved this:
Donkey: you...you...are soooo CATastrophe
Puss: and you are so riDONKEYlous
Fiona: You have everything, Shrek. You've got friends, loving wife and beautiful kids. And the only one person whom is not happy, is YOU..!
Shrek: I want to be an Ogre again!!!
Disclaimer: The script above may have been amended unintentionally. I couldn't remember every words the character had said, but it sounded 'something-like-that'.

I understand why Fiona would say such statement. For a girl, whom had led half of her life in a castle and locked away in a tower, there's nothing more contented to have a loving husband, 3 beautiful kids, and once in a while...surrounded by a bunch of weirdo pals. I mean comparing all these to the loneliness and resentment felt in the castle and the tower, which Ogre would not be happy to have met Shrek?

But I can put myself in Shrek's (big foot) shoes. If I used to be an adventurous, feared, grouchy Ogre whom led a care-free life... and all of sudden some other Ogre stepped in and re-defined what 'happiness' is all about -- I'd get the itchiness all around my green body too. Out of responsibility and marriage vows to be happily-ever-after, Shrek (and me) could possibly think what type of Ogre have I turned myself into? And if that is the predefined happiness of yours, then what's mine..? Hell sign any contract to make me an Ogre again for a day; and being myself for a day won't hurt, right?

And so the story told to Shrek; Yes... it would hurt to be an Ogre for a day. It hurts so bad that not only you are getting all those goose bumps, but people around you too. Your wife, your kids, and Donkey, and Puss....and Gingerbread, and stupid 3 pigs, and Pinochio...and so and so...

Look, I believe everything returns to the main element of effective communication.

Fiona the Ogre are not different from any of us typical women too. If you are already in a relationship, let's open up and admit that you are somehow driven to certain predefine happiness and the kind of life you want to have. And when the time and opportunity arrives, you tend to lead your man (now; willingly or unwillingly, let the man have their say) to your predefine relationship. Because, biologically, that's what happiness is all about. And if you are not in a relationship yet, and I'd reckon you are aged between 25-30 years (my blog followers are no kiddies right?). Do you already have certain blurred picture in your mind of what kind of man you'd want, and once you've got it, what kind of life you want to have? If yes, aren't that predefine happiness? Women might protest: But why can't I pursue happiness and do all that's good for my man?!? Yes, that's happiness and that's good, to your own context. But have your man ever tells you what he'd really wanted? what is his happiness? What's good for him?

And that's how the second problem evolves. Hey Shrek, why you had never attempt to tell Fiona you want to be an Ogre for a day...just for day will really satisfy you? Are you sure? Men, they get to be an Ogre for a day, and then they request to be an Ogre every Sundays. After which, they may want to be an Ogre every Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays...and while they have all these wild thoughts in his mind, a (smart) Ogre would know it's too difficult to put it verbally. And that's when they prefer to either lie, or keep it to themselves. Risk of lying=a very angry Fiona. Risk of keeping it inside=blasting like an over-stretched balloon. Of which, Shrek chose the latter and had his ass burned off with a dumb contract.

hmm...Fiona(s) and Shrek(s) of the world. Living together is so exciting, isn't it?

all Happy things..~*~*~

Happy jigs no.1
I'd love to see Sherine in that long, classy, white gown during her ROM next month. Even though I can't make it back home that time, I'd knew I would be exciting for her. It feels like fairytale knowing her sometimes...she always reminds me that rainbows does shine after some bad rainy days. And I can see that happiness and love shines through her very eyes...a beautiful gift from God, telling her "Hey gal, you've always been a brave, and kind at heart. All those bitter days which I've tested on you have finally reached an ending. You have earned the best reward from me, and now I'm presenting to you - truly blessed happiness & eternal love..."

And yes, believe me that you are special friend, supportive daughter, passionate mother and very soon...a loving wife. You are a gift, and you'll always be. Muaks.

Happy jigs no.2
Family trip to Hong Kong, confirmed on 21st - 25th January 2011. Gosh, I'm happy that Daddy's dream is coming so soon! and I'm proud that I have the chance to play a part in materializing his dreams. Daddy, we as family, are finally able to celebrate pre-CNY at HK next year. You've always wanted to do this, and I could still remember how your eyes sparkles just thinking about it. And Daddy, we will be doing it very soon. You don't have to wait too long, cos next CNY's the DAY!!!

Happy jigs no.3
Leo is getting fatter, and cuter as days goes. And he is definitely making Mom very very happy. If only I'd knew earlier that a pet could have made Mom so cheerful and fills her days with happiness - I would have bought a doggie right after Baby left us. But, as I learned today that sweet dreams do come true, I guess there's really no point looking back and sigh. When there's fate, there will be love...

Happy jigs no.4
I had Ikan Kembong as supper last night (yea, and you'd think...huh~ why tiba tiba talk about Ikan Kembong neh~!)If anyone would know me well enough, I'm never a fish person. I can settle for fish&chips, or sashimi salmon/tuna, or any fish that's boneless. Pity me, I chocked on a big fish bone when I was young and thus, paranoid. Any fish serving that comes with it's head, body, tail and bones will turn me off immediately. But surprisingly, I ate the whole Ikan Kembong last night! With sambal! *yummy* As I carefully remove every single piece of bone from the fish, it made me think of Mom...she would always remove all bones she could possibly see before serving me the fillet. I'd love to watch her eat fish, because no matter how, she always look like a pro. Yes, my mom's a fish-eating-pro and I'm proud of her! and yes, that Ikan Kembong last night made me think of Mom in a very special way...so bonding!

Happy jigs no.5
May is coming to an end soon. Which means, June is coming in. And after so, July...August...gonna approach too. And when Sept reigns in.....~*~*~*~ time to be HOME...! Everybody....let the FUN begins!

with JoyceHo...and BushBush

Joyce called ... and we talked like we always used to ... it's bittersweet.

Joyce told me that she have decided to give BushBush away. Well, Wilson had bought BushBush since he was a month old puppy, and BushBush had always been a mischievous, hyper-active and attention seeking baby. You see, BushBush was not allowed to be in the house ever since he reached 3 months old. He was not toilet trained, and Joyce didn't want his fur to drop in the house. So, BushBush was bounded at the main compound since then...Due to this, he never really got the attention, love and care very much as a puppy. That's why whenever he's unleashed, he would run amok around the house. He would jump and run happily to you, and he will softly bite your hands or legs. Everyone thinks he is so out of control. But thinking of it now, it was just a way of him to show affection, and he was just as happy as he could be when he can finally run around without boundaries....

Now that Joyce got a better paid job at Kepong, Joyce finds that it's beyond her abilities (strength and time wise) to take care of BushBush. Joyce had loved BushBush very much too, even though it was her intention to keep him leashed. Joyce's love is from another way round - taking good care of his hygiene, ensuring plenty of water and adequate food at all times. Bathes BushBush every weekend without fail, and cleans up his 'mess' after every business done. It's just that Joyce need to keep him tied up. That's all.

However, the saddest part is, no one else would have given Joyce any cooperation to take care of BushBush when Joyce is out for work. And this job of hers at Kepong requires more time to travel, which means leaving home early and getting back late at night. Human can take care of themselves, I mean that 2 notorious PIG - Wilson and Wayne, but BushBush just couldn't reach for his own food or drinks whenever he needs to. And there will be no one to clean him up, because the 2 PIGs wouldn't care at all.

So Joyce had to decide to give BushBush away....to the SPCA. Knowing this, Joyce's neighbor, Aunty Doris suggested that Joyce gives BushBush to her bro-in-law instead. That Uncle stays at Yulek, and he already owns a dog currently, but is getting old and may leave him soon. So I guess he's trying to get a new dog to accompany him too. Uncle said he doesn't mind that BushBush is not toilet trained as he devoted to teach him that. And Aunty Doris said this Uncle never leashes his ol'time friend (his current dog). Uncle likes to let dogs have activities freely on their own....

Hearing this, I so wish that this Uncle genuinely wants to take good care of BushBush. I mean, looking back, BushBush had been a victim of irresponsible owner (Wilson) who got him out-of-fun. BushBush was leashed most of the time, and yet they are despising the dog for being hyper-active whenever BushBush becomes excited when let go free. In fact, BushBush had never done anything wrong. It was those human that wronged him - for not giving him the care and love he needed. But I can feel that BushBush had never complained a single thing. He still wags his tail every time you're home, he still hopes you'd set him free soon....

And yes, maybe now, BushBush wish finally comes true. He's free.....to a new owner which seemingly much better than Wilson...and this is my only hope. I hope that Uncle can really dedicate more love to BushBush...more attention BushBush ever needs, and I'm sure, very sure that BushBush would love Uncle in return, unconditionally....

Guardian Angels, yen is making a wish now. A prayer that BushBush is moving on to a better, loving life...



BushBush will be taking his first step into a new life on this Saturday 22-May-2010...BushBush, it's been great to know you. Hope you'll remember me too. Muaks.

family trip to HongKong January 2011

Chatted with Superdad via msn today...and all Dad was talking enthusiastically - our family trip to Hong Kong next year. Yea, next year's January and now Dad is already overly excited.

Initial planning of the trip consists of Dad, Mom, Bro, Carol, Carol's Mom and tentatively Carol's lil' bro & his gf. Not confirmed yet about Carol's bro, as youngsters nowadays tend to make last minute decisions...which I still do very often (so, do I sound like young again?!?!?)

Me and Dad talked about glorious food, desserts, and Dad's all-time favorite - suckling pig and roasted goose drumstick! Dad...dad....forever top wai-sek-mao....he'd better exercise more after the trip to burn all those calories away!

And my favorite place - Disneyland, Ocean's park and Big Buddha too! Must visits! Also, never missed out Lan Kwai Fong by then...jammin' and partyin' all da way!

It was such a happy chat with Dad today...mostly because we were talking about happy stuffs! And I just find that it is equally happy, contented and blissful to know that Daddy's long-timed wish will finally be fulfilled soon....

Y'know, I could still remember that I was around 9-ish or 10-ish when Daddy told me "Girl, next time when our family is better-off, we'd all go to Hong Kong to hang lin siu (means pre-CNY shopping spree for families) ok? Daddy promise, all 4 of us will do that one day, and by then Daddy will bring you to the best suckling pig feast yaa...." And after that, I can recall that Daddy repeats to me about this dream every year without fail. He said the same thing again last year, and I finally have the courage to tell him "Daddy let's go to HK next year's January. But not only 4 of us, but 5 of US!!!!.."(inclusive of Carol, my daddy's best daughter-in-law)...

Daddy couldn't be any happier since then....

Why next year and not early this year..? Because Carol is too shy to go for a family trip with us before joining us as part of family LOLX..!! Well, maybe early this year wasn't the best time as both me & bro are busy with our work. Bro just changed to a new company early this year, and it's still difficult for him to get AL. As for me, busy accumulating wealth at Manila. But next year, Bro is finally settled down on career and marriage matters; this HK trip can be counted as their honeymoon too. As for me, I know it's time that I dedicate more time to my SuperDad & SuperMom; knowing they have been 'suffering' since I left home for work. I will scare the hell out of you if I tell you how much my parents missed me all this while...

So, the decision is finally made! January 2011, Hong Kong here we come!

Nightmares.....

A guy dated me out for a Sunday movie. And he got tickets for - Nightmare On Elm Street....

Very funny...Very romantic...Very "WRONG"!!!!!

gosh, what sort of movie date is this? Freddie? Razor sharp fingers? Hmmmpphh.....You'd better owe me a Shrek or Toy Story soon!

~~~~~~~~~~

Talk about nightmares....this is my first viewing of Elm St. thingy, and yes, I agree that it does it's disturbing emotions at certain level. I mean, who's not afraid about being afraid to sleep? It's such emotional trauma that your body and soul is telling you to doze off but yet, you'll risk your life out of a short nap. No wonder I was feeling so grouchy and restless after the movie. And way up 'til bedtime.

I'm totally paranoid of boogeyman....Since I was a little kid, I always project that there will be some slimy stuffs crawling under and beside my bed. It's either that thing will look wet, or it's some kinda long hair spooky 'The Ring' creations...
Other than that, any stories told on death of family members, relatives, friends will keep me awake for the rest of the night.

And, yea, before I forget...that Medusa from Percy Jackson & Lightning Thief also left me with unspoken itchiness all over my body. I think I loathes seeing things that are erm.... slimy, wet, long, snake-like, worms-like....arrgghh...I can't find a word for that. Summary: it's exactly that bunch of thing on Medusa's head that kills off all my mood and appetite for the day. And that's counted as my nightmare too!

((伴))

如果 命運可以訂做
如果 有另一次選擇
我想我 還是會 把手讓你緊握
快樂地陪你去坎坷
就算 你有天變落魄
就算 你老得不能動
我想我 還是會 挽著你看日落
你的心疼在淚光中
嘴巴上 彼此嫌麻煩
眼神中 關懷那麼滿
沒說愛 卻早已認定一輩子的伴
在人前 從來不浪漫
在心中 卻總為對方打算
最懂的人最暖的伴

a love story...yet to find an ending...to be continued...

accomplished mission!

There goes my Friday....a whole week of brain wrecking thoughts, real simulations, fake expressions, zombie-like discussions - here I am standing proudly with my creation.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present "The factor analysis of transaction adjustment" and it's baby "Risk and governing analysis-full report"

Applause...applause....applause...!

So, Alex, you'd agree that I did a great job right? So when can I go home?
(me in Pussy's innocent stare from Shrek)

can you hear my silence?

Me: Hmm...guess the Oreo never lasted long enough here huh~ Look, I just opened this tab yesterday, and it's almost finished now...
Him: yea silly, of course. Because way back home you will have many other choices. Like you can decide to have chee cheong fun or you can have roti canai...many choices maa...
Me: Yalor...more choices at home. But why is it always easier to gain weight here when all I have is Oreo's?
Him: Because sadly it always turn out that Oreo is the only food that makes you gain weight?

I gave him a killing stare, but maybe it sound funny enough to be true....

Me: Then how le...?
Him: Then, it means you should just be patience and enjoy your stay here. And time will pass by very fast and we will be back to KL and work together ok...(by then, we can have any type of supper we wanted to have)
Me: Huh~ we? (I thought me?) C'mon...you should stay here and work longer...maybe another year yea..?(there's really no point for you to be leaving so soon...)

I think irregardless of career consideration or whether we are able to sustain any type of relationship we wanted/trying to have, it is never an obligation to be at KL with me. This is just another pointless sacrifice to make. In fact, it's worthless. I mean, for me.

I didn't say it just now. But I'd hope you understand. We both know what is best for you and your family. You really need this opportunity at Makati. You should be here at Makati....and let fate takes it's course okay...

a SICKO named Fei

In the past 3 minutes, I just received the most shocking, unbearable, idiotic, dirty, smelly text message that I've never thought would reach my Inbox ever. A dumbo named Fei wrote "I still love you. I can forget you, but I'll always love you"

Y'know at that very moment, I think he's a bastard, and I feel like a slut. I know I'm too emotional for calling myself a slut, because practically I didn't do ANYTHING that makes him feel this way or contributed to any emotional or physical vices to make him write messages THIS way. He's a proven bastard. Moron. Barbarian.

M'gawd, it's been 7 years already, and since I decided to call it off, I have never make any intentional meeting with him, nor called him to say any talks that makes him thinks otherwise. And further, he had also decided that he need a family, and children, to complete his life. Of which, family + children is something he knows clearly I can't let him have. So, FAIR right? He lives in another corner of the earth from me! We are both from different worlds! Damm'it.

And the dirtiest thing I think about him now (at this very moment) is what the hell he thinks he's doing when he has a wife and toddlers??!?? Bastard men. I don't get it clear why I keep on knowing, and seeing men that are never filial to their respective girlfriend or wife? Is that really that difficult to show much appreciation and respect to that women whom had stood by you, all those ups and downs together, or whatever fucked up things that might had happened to her just for being with You?

That's why I always feel so trapped. I'm always encountering with these stereotype of men for almost a quarter of my life already. My past, my love life..either they are just sucked up, or they sucked up and after that wanting a second chance, and get sucked up again. Or either they had never been sucked up in front of me, but there will be hell loads of bumbleebees flying around him, and comes home telling me he did nothing to attract them. Yea, you have natural honey on your body is it? I just don't understand why they would only want me when they know somebody else already has me..? What's the whole fucking point? Like dogs marking their territory, and come back to get it back once he knows someone else is making a mark too, huh?

You see, the more I elaborate, the more I'm doubting if the problem does really lies in ME, or I'm just being unlucky here? Yea, tell me about having a partner, tell me about all the sweetness in life for having somebody next to your bed and says Good Morning to you...yea, yea, yea....it's not like I've never tried. I tried as hard as I could. And now what? Reality is always telling me that it's so sucked up.

If I ever meet him again, I would gladly give two big slap on his fucked up face. The first slap's from me, for messing with my emotions now. The second slaps from me on behalf of his wife, for being such a bastard. i don't care if his wife thinks he's bastard or not. Because if his wife doesn't think so, she probably just another regular bitch.

Mother's Day 2010

There goes...I missed Mother's Day celebration with SuperMom this year. Chatted with all Big-Ho's via Skype this morning-yea-the Big-Ho's inclusive of our Sarjan Leo (who comfortably shitted at Joyce's home...bravo bravo...! salute Sarjan Leo...!!)

Everyone's well at home. I guess Mom doesn't really know it's Mother's Day today. She hardly celebrate this kinda occasion. To her, the Big-Days comes during any of our birthdays (Chinese lunar calendar I mean), and those main Chinese celebrations and a few main Buddhist celebrations....

But irregardless of whatever days today or tomorrow is, it's the best to know that everyone is at their pink-est health. And as time goes by, the day for me to be finally HOME again draws nearer and nearer....

a Life together....

Life is not all about getting a job that pays big salary. Life is not about how much money you can save. Life is not about how to be the best children in your family. Life is not about ignoring all small things in life just because you need to chase after those big dreams you want to achieve.
Life is about getting old together, holding hands...going to the cinema and watch a good movie together......

-YennyB 07052010-

no news is good news

I'd really hope that no news is definitely good news. Why would i say that...?!?!? Well, life has been going on well over here in Makati. There's really nothing much to say or make header news; not because life has not been colorful here. But I'm just finding life has been more steady, well-maintained and contented at my current pace.

There is really nothing much to complain (or praise) about my work here. Just like any regular job, which I don't resist so much compared to the previous one. Housemates, has been quite regular with their daily activities, and so am I. Colleagues are mostly behaving humanly, nothing too bombastic that's worth my special attention....and what else could I be writing about then..?!?!?

So, no news is good news..?

Well oh well...at least there's something that crosses my mind now. I LOVE SBC's BANOFFEE PIE....!!!!!!!!**yummy yummy**

am I pathetic...?

I escaped from my work at around 11-ish last Saturday, and headed straight back home. After having a few chats with friends, I couldn't helped but dozed off like ahem~ a pig. It was so pathetic. I didn't even have the energy to turn on the tv, or get hooked with FB, or finish off the new mag I bought, or even listen to some music before I sleep. Guess this work does absorbs off my energy like parasites sometimes.

But as I said, I'm glad that project is over; momentarily. Of course some new weird stuffs are gonna pop up sooner or later, even that's what forms the real meaning of work, you can never get to the end of it. My soul is definitely enjoying this kind of demanding work, because the busier I get, the faster time runs. And as faster time runs, you could have guessed what should happen next - September comes earlier, or so it seems. But well, my body is not collaborating too well with my mind this time....

Q: Ms.YennyBee, what did you do last Sunday../
A: SLEEP.
Q: No food..?drinks?entertainment...?anything in between...?
Q: Yeah, had whole-meal Deli breakfast on Sunday morning...back home for a short visit to the loo...and then, SLEEP again....

Yes, I was practically doing nothing else more significant than sleeping. I think I slept more than 20 hours since Saturday night till Sunday night - if my calculation is right; minus off those few minutes in between of getting-in food & water and getting-out food & water....

again...Pathetic...!

Today is much more meaningful. Headed to Glorietta4 cinema and enjoyed Iron-Man2. I didn't really liked the cinema at G4 as it is quite stuffy compared to that at Greenbelt's which is more posh and comfy. But never mind, enjoyed the movie. And after that we hit TGI Friday's and ordered Jack Daniel's Pork Ribs *yummy* and some kinda deep-fried dory fish....had full value meal with a great movie combo.

and NOW, I'm getting headaches. see...? it's so PATHETIC...!

my latest lover ~ DELL....

Gosh, it felt like battle today. I was stuck to my darling DELL for 10 hours non stop, assessing loads of data..information..calculations..policies..risk..summaries..reporting..If I didn't say, people must have thought I'm making love to my DELL. My eyes are so tired, that I took off my contact lenses right there at my workstation. Yeah, I didn't even have the time to walk to the washroom, wash my hands, dry it, and remove those contact lenses. I was practically too lazy to do all that, simply because I was so into that task.

And really...really thanks God that it's done now. Feels much lighter now removing a burden from my shoulders.

And in fact, I think I'm really falling in love with DELL...no one understands me more than this machine does...LOLX...!!!

enabler vs. enabling

It's been a tiring day at work today. There were lots of writing, talking, hearing and thinking. Well, maybe the thinking part is quite gray, because I always find my mind flying to never-land and back when my boss's half way talking - or was she blabbing..?!?

No matter whether today's been a fruitful day or not, two words suddenly strikes me in the middle of the meeting. Is this job an enabler for me to achieve something in the end of the day; or it's just enabling me to fulfill some of those empty spaces I have in me.

I know why I traveled all the way to Makati, Stellent Corp to work. I know it very clearly in my consciousness. But as I said in my previous blog that the feeling aren't the same anymore, I have forced myself to take this job as an enabler towards my certain goals and dreams. I want to believe that there are a certain "must" that I should do, because without it, it makes me un-able. Well..well...halfway through the transformation, this job funnily is turning into a force; enabling me to know what I'd really wanted all this while. It turns out into something I can have, and therefore I may have without.

Hence, I always feel a need for stronger force to keep me forward - just like today's agenda. It's enabling me to look at this job as an enabler. Usually when things come to this stake, it no longer look too promising and exciting. It feels like any regular job at any regular place.

But since the philosophy of "you should adapt to environment and not awaits the environment to adapt you" still exist in this era, I confidently believes, there will certainly be more amusement visiting, rather than looking it at such pessimistically....

Do everything with all your heart, and there's no one you should feel sorry for in the end of the day - SuperDad