top corporate jokes @ work

1. Risk Identified: Human Error.
Mitigation: Enhance and add in detection by various people in the team.
Great. I already told you the problem is human error. And yet, you tell me that you want to add in more human control in the process. Are you dumb or something?

2. Business Continuity Plan a.k.a Disaster Recovery Plan.
You said: Let's do preventive management this year (giggles)
Great. If the disaster can be prevented, why even cares to build a business continuity plan? Since you are darn great and can hold a typhoon still, I shouldn't really fret if company could not survive a disaster, right? Wrong! Now, stop thinking with you bust.

3. Performing Risk Assessment on a big chunk of manual adjustment report. I categorize all adjustments all by myself, and then assess the risk. Great. Now am I not the riskiest person to the company now? Dumb people can't be resurrected.

4. "For your learning purpose. Not compulsory."
Great. So your message means that it is not compulsory to learn, or continue learning in this company. No wonder you never improved. Oppss...you know how to spell "improvement"?

5. "Vlookup formula is used to compare 2 sheets in an Excel file. I've seen people using it, but I don't know how to use it. So I expect you to learn, and do it for me (before I appear stupid in front of boss). Great. No further explanation needed, just refer to point no.4 above.

6. "I have looked in the course content but unable to identify which slides bl is asking. Please assist. Thanks." Great. Means you don't understand your boss, and you expect me to understand your boss. So, if I can really understand your boss, and able to please your boss better than you do -- What the fuck are you doing here in the first place? Go home and spend the rest of your life masturbating. At least you are doing something for a purpose, Big-O!

Urrrgghhh.....

Well, the fun about life is to know there will always be dumb and dumber people living a longer life than you!

Ahhhh......