a SICKO named Fei

In the past 3 minutes, I just received the most shocking, unbearable, idiotic, dirty, smelly text message that I've never thought would reach my Inbox ever. A dumbo named Fei wrote "I still love you. I can forget you, but I'll always love you"

Y'know at that very moment, I think he's a bastard, and I feel like a slut. I know I'm too emotional for calling myself a slut, because practically I didn't do ANYTHING that makes him feel this way or contributed to any emotional or physical vices to make him write messages THIS way. He's a proven bastard. Moron. Barbarian.

M'gawd, it's been 7 years already, and since I decided to call it off, I have never make any intentional meeting with him, nor called him to say any talks that makes him thinks otherwise. And further, he had also decided that he need a family, and children, to complete his life. Of which, family + children is something he knows clearly I can't let him have. So, FAIR right? He lives in another corner of the earth from me! We are both from different worlds! Damm'it.

And the dirtiest thing I think about him now (at this very moment) is what the hell he thinks he's doing when he has a wife and toddlers??!?? Bastard men. I don't get it clear why I keep on knowing, and seeing men that are never filial to their respective girlfriend or wife? Is that really that difficult to show much appreciation and respect to that women whom had stood by you, all those ups and downs together, or whatever fucked up things that might had happened to her just for being with You?

That's why I always feel so trapped. I'm always encountering with these stereotype of men for almost a quarter of my life already. My past, my love life..either they are just sucked up, or they sucked up and after that wanting a second chance, and get sucked up again. Or either they had never been sucked up in front of me, but there will be hell loads of bumbleebees flying around him, and comes home telling me he did nothing to attract them. Yea, you have natural honey on your body is it? I just don't understand why they would only want me when they know somebody else already has me..? What's the whole fucking point? Like dogs marking their territory, and come back to get it back once he knows someone else is making a mark too, huh?

You see, the more I elaborate, the more I'm doubting if the problem does really lies in ME, or I'm just being unlucky here? Yea, tell me about having a partner, tell me about all the sweetness in life for having somebody next to your bed and says Good Morning to you...yea, yea, yea....it's not like I've never tried. I tried as hard as I could. And now what? Reality is always telling me that it's so sucked up.

If I ever meet him again, I would gladly give two big slap on his fucked up face. The first slap's from me, for messing with my emotions now. The second slaps from me on behalf of his wife, for being such a bastard. i don't care if his wife thinks he's bastard or not. Because if his wife doesn't think so, she probably just another regular bitch.