Leo: so near yet so...far

Leo...

I'm at Joyce's house now. Do you know I'd think of you even more when i'm here...we are so near each other, but all I could grasp are memories.

I still miss my little doggie, but I have to do it silently nowadays. I don't cry out loud thinking of you, and I would escape any topics about you. I don't want to visit anymore pet shop because nothing is cuter than you. I still hate to see the neighbour, and that dog. I still resent despite their compensation. I try not to pass by Segar Vet Clinic, not because I'm afraid. Because there was where I last see you. Remember how Gary was guiding you into the clinic that day and you refused? We tried hard to coax you in, but you just didn't enter willingly. Now I know why. Because you knew that's when you will last see us.

I miss you, still. I'd stare awhile at your grave whenever I have the opportunity. I can be so silly imagining you running towards me at that field. Like...just let me see you again. Some kind of resurrection, but all these are craps, I know. It will never be, and never should be.

I thought I've done enough to convince myself that you are already at a better place. And hoping you'd still come back to me, is plain selfish and dumb. I'm sorry, Leo.

I'm sorry I haven't forget you. I'm sorry I haven't forgive myself about your loss. I'm sorry I still miss you.

Naughty brat. Forever my Leo.