Heard from Bobby today that his not-so-close friend's girlfriend is dead after plunging from the 18th floor of his living-in condominium. The suicidal girl is only 22 years old. Bobby showed me her FB link and there are many News Feed wishing her "R.I.P" and "We miss you" and so on and so forth...
Well, I don't know the guy and the deceased personally, but I can still feel a pinch of awkwardness towards this whole scenario. The guy is as old as Bobby - 27 years and the girl, just merely 22 years old. What on earth that there's nothing better to do than dying?
As Bobby's usual self, he would ask me some weird questions after telling me some weird news. He asked me " You wouldn't jump off buildings like her, won't you?" Of which, I answered him so directly without any second thoughts "I would, only if Dad & Mom dies first."
Then he burst a big laugh and said "Daddy Mommy is already 50 something! but you are not even 30 yet...! means if Daddy Mommy is no longer around then you will jump off the building is it..?"
hmmpphh...I just laser-eye him and make him know I would very much like to change another subject if he still want to talk with me. He thought it was funny and still giggles before he walks away...idiot... o.o!
My point here is really not so much about who dies first...but does suicide really ends all matter at once? I'm always questioning myself why there's so little time for me to accomplish something. Or sometimes when I looked back to my younger years, it does give me a big-big sigh whether why had I not do this or that...and as time passes away, there will be no more turning back.
And as I'm approaching my 30's soon, I just want time to move slower than it should be. So that I will have more time to love myself, and love those people around me. I also need more time prove to myself that I have at least the slightest contribution towards the community and the environment. I need more time to let Mom know that she didn't give birth to a "sausage" after all....(well, of course Mom never really call me a sausage, but that "sausage" phrase suddenly crossed my mind - that's it)
But she chose to fast forward the time and end it there at once...with no doubt and queries....she just jumped off like that....
Well, to that young girl ~ Ms. Kok - may you rest in peace, if that is your choice of life.
There's so much more in life unknown; do not just rush forward, but don't stay behind for too long ~ time never wait, you are the creator of your own masterpiece...
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Well, perhaps this is what you call as how you determined your own life. Some people are given a choice on how to walk their life but some doesn't. Like those cancer patients, fighting to the last minute to live or those African kids, walking miles and miles just to find food to survive. They are not given a choice. She was given a choice but she chose to end it that way. So, it's a pity.
ReplyDeleteLike you...I felt that time is so insufficient. Yesterday, when I browsed back my childhood pictures, how I realized time has passed quickly. How I saw that my mum has aged compared to the time when she was just only 20 when she carried me in her arms.
How I saw a picture where I passed a slice of my birthday cake to my grannny who was smiling so happily when she received it from me, but is no longer around now....
Time is precious, you know.
I hate to say this, although it is stupid but the question make sense.
"Then he burst a big laugh and said, "Daddy Mommy is already 50 something! But you are not even 30 yet...! means if Daddy Mommy is no longer around then you will jump off the building is it...?"
Hahahaha....