one month, today

Today is April 26. Exactly one month from today will be May 26. I am profoundly astonished by how quick time moves forward. Especially when you are not counting it.

I am deliberating all types of very mixed feelings now. I can't wait, but I hope those honeymoon phase could last forever. Like really forever in my very this life.

I know, I've sensed it too. Then was so easy encode and decode, but there has been countless chapters of miscommunication lately. Then was a lot of dovey talks, but there has been moments when it is even difficult to make surprises now. Then was natural time off where it feels light and easy, but there has been coldest silence that it shivers to even think about; let not even action on it. And so then and now, here it is.

No one ever says it will gonna be a bed of roses. Nor I. Even more so, I've prepared for the worst storms to loom and doom, but never afraid. Because in my Land, there will always be sun and rainbows there after. Sigh, it was so dark during the rainy days, that I nearly didn't find my way out. I was afraid. I was not as brave I thought I am. I was lost. And I hope I am anchored once again.

I just have one reminder. Remember the thankfulness I've sang praises to. Remember that no one is made to love, to nurture and to forgive. As one fine day, people leave not because it is difficult. People leave because no longer feel appreciated. Or once learned to be thankful, it is just too late to appreciate. Appreciation and thankfulness; only then other ingredients can add flavor.

I was, and I still am. I didn't hesitate in anyway. I just need more assurance.