How We Sentence Ourselves

Reinventing ourselves begin with language.

I'll never forget the moment that this first became perfectly clear to me. It was one of those moments of realization that you will never forget. Business consultant Becky Robbins was teaching a course in communication, and she casually said something that tied together and clarified for me nearly 11 years of research I had done in human development.

"Some people use language," she said, "to describe the lives they lead, and other people use language to create the lives they lead."

Yes, that was exactly it! Life begins for us in language. Behind every action is a thought, formed in words that paint a picture. This felt like a new discovery to me, but I knew it wasn't new to everyone. It has seen been pointed out to me that it was written long ago that "in the beginning there was the word".

Our energy and attitude are create by the language we think with. The impact is stronger than drugs, as medical tests with placebos have revealed for years. (One pill makes you larger. The other makes you small. Whatever the doctor says is what the pill seems to do.)

I could now see that my own work with high and low achievers had taught me exactly the same thing. People who are productive and fulfilled in life use a different language than the people who are struggling.

I'd even gotten to the point where I could interview people without knowing in advance if they were performing well or not, and I was able, just by listening to their language, to tell. Some of my clients began to joke that it was paranormal, but I told them it was simpler than that. I was just listening to their words.

You can always tell where a person's from by listening to the language he or she uses. Some people come from ownership, and some from victimization.

I began keeping notebooks filled with the language of high achievers (who I labeled as "owners") and another bulging pile of notebooks filled with the language of the people who were frustrated and struggling -- the "victims".

Owners use the word "can" alot, while victims favored "can't". Owners had goals, projects, and challenges, whereas victims had problems, hassles, and nightmares. Owners said they were busy, and victims said they were swamped. Owners were designing a life while victims were trying to make a living. Owners were psyched and excited about changes in the workplace while victims were worried and ticked off. Owners looked to see what they could get from an experience while victims tried to get through it.

Become the person YOU have always wanted to be.