My silence remains...

"Do you have anything to tell me..? but I'm not listening...."

While I was busy thinking if I have communicative problems, a reflective question sparked my mind as "why God would create humans with two ears, but only one mouth?" Could there be a simple message brought to us that we should never talk more than what we can understand? Or, would God had guessed that human will evolve to be so inattentive that we should be prearranged with two ears (instead of one) to at least listen more carefully of others?

Let's have some insights of the respectful Namo Kuan Yin Pu-Sa - bestowed with thousands hands to help human's sufferings; and thousands eyes to keep us in her close proximity and care for our substances. It was not highlighted (as to my knowing) that she has thousands ears. Does it means that it is always nearer to the truth of what our eyes may see, but never really believe of what we may hear?

I remembered a movie quoted as saying, "Never look with your bare eyes, but see within your heart..."

After so much babbling in respective to human creations, God's decisions, Bodhisattva's compassion.........may I conclude that I'm very regretful and shameful of myself that I have not learned to stand-up, chest-up, and speak-up after 27 years of struggling in this rat race.

I'm particularly weak & fragile in telling others that I'm so dissatisfied with something and I demand an adjustment from the current situation - so that I can become happier. Whenever the thought of "so that I can become happier" crosses my mind, I would be so afraid to speak further because I do not want others to think of me as selfish, childish or simply inconsiderate. I have no idea who downloads these type of introvert attitude in me, but honestly this is who I am. But any other than that area, I am undoubtedly extrovert. Gosh, what a two-face bitch, am I...?

This scary feeling of not able to speak-up particularly started when I know that people are not really listening even if they pretend to care that something is bothering you. Well, listening and hearing is totally different. I may hear what you say, but I'm not listening and therefore whatever you say does not affect any of my current well-being. Hmm....sigh.....that's why I might as well save some energy and think what I can do to improve my own aura, and in a way helps to refrain your further pretend-to-listen soap opera.

Win-win situation, eh...