small changes makes big evolutions

I am truly a person afraid of being stagnant. If I think I can do better, I would gather resources and try to excel. Luckily I am an aquarius, I don't need comparing myself to others. If not I am already an ego freak today. I just hope to see myself improve, knowing I can grasp my own fate. Knowing my life is truly what I wanted it to be like.

I was never happy at my current company. In that department, to be precise. It is so small that I feel suffocated with every hypocrisy within. If I don't enjoy in my circle, how do I like the other elements at work? So, I feel so much need to change. I didn't agree that I should be settling myself just for the sake of survival. But I cant be too pushy either, because hell yes I need that paycheck every month! Contradicting, eh?? Aquarius!

So I signed for a personal broadband. Means another fixed expense topping up to what I am already paying at home. Boo hoo hoo. But I know clearly there will be things I cannot be petty over. Small investments is unavoidable if I want some new returns. With this fast internet connection, I have updated my resume. Ever ready to make a move, a wiser move with Guardian Angels' blessings. And so, I was contacted by a headhunter. The rest, let's just fingers crossed...hoping that good things do find me. Even if nothing turns out too great, it's ok cos I don't lose anything. I can just keep trying.

Like buying this iPhone...I was called dumb cos they say I should wait for iPhone 5. But hell loose, I don't really care. Now, I can blog everywhere I go with just an app. In fact, this is written via iPhone. I can check mails cos I sync all accounts, no more missed emails!

If I want to change, I must first make amendments to some old habits. If not, where do you think a change begins?

Quotes

Every person carries different patience level. I remember a HK drama quoting "All relationship begin in a messy room. Some jerks away instantly from the mess. Some take chances and try to tidy things up. Others dedicate their whole life making things right again and again..."

Too many of us take things too personally. That messy room is not sole responsibility. No one should be depended on to do the cleaning up, and the other enjoy that comfort zone. This will exhaust the relationship.

That's why, if I have to chase and fight for your attention, eventually I don't want it anymore.

com-mu-ni-cate

"when was the last time you sat down and had a heart to heart conversation with someone?"--Soo Ewe Jin.

I don't know, Eugine. There will be so much to talk about at work, usually moronic topics with people of the same clan. Then it will be too unbearable to speak when I reach home. Well, there can be a word or two with mommy but definitely not in-depth. Or sometimes topics at home is so generalized that I didn't even use my brain, what's more from heart?

But this is not the main barrier to this breakdown chain of communication.

It takes two hands to clap. It take two initiatives to communicate.

My soulmate... I thought I could tell him everything my world beholds... It didn't happen due to distance. Don't remind me about technology, it wont work if you don't click either. It was made rotten by both of us, because there was no initiative to keep communicating. And now, catching up seems a little too late. Not little, but really too late.

I was craving for egg tarts on saturday night so we drove all the way to Connaught for Tong Kee. No more Tong Kee no more egg tarts. Jen asked if I could wait till next morning. No...I don't want it anymore tomorrow but there's no one to blame. The timing just not right there anymore.

If I couldn't communicate then, why care to know it now? It is too late, the chances left, no one to blame. Just don't ask why.... There is no more why...