It was lust!

Most of my cravings are lust. Yes, they are just plain unreasonable lust....

I must have a very straight forward childhood. I have all basic necessities. I may even have more icing on my piece of cake compared to other kids. But that wasn't enough to spoil me. I was thought to stand tall with dignity on my feet, and earn things that I want to have. Obstacles I may have too few, because I usually get things I want, or strive to have. That's why...I always thought I get things when I deliberately ask nicely to have it.

This the reason I don't know why there are certain things I don't get in life. Like...recognition. Dad taught me, there must be a reason for everything to happen as it is. That's call gravity, but it's also life as it is. So, I don't get it when people say No to me. Which part of Yes don't they understand, here?

I am just like that annoying kid screaming on my decaying lungs wanting daddy to buy me that colorful lollipop hanging on the shelf. I have no idea how that sticky candy will taste like. I may not even like the taste of it after all. But I just feel I want to have that candy. Because deep in my head, I think I deserve that candy. I think I'd be happier once I have it. That's all....That is all....Why can't I?

But now...I didn't have that infamous candy...No matter how I tried my best...I didn't have it. I have been thinking nuts why...but I just let the opportunity passes me by.

If I have the chance again. If you will hear me say again. If you will believe my sincerity once more. I love you, lollipop!

But like I said...this is lust. Not love. I still don't understand how does a lollipop taste like. That's why. I may not even need that lollipop. It's ok, yen...this will pass. Take deep breather. It's lust. Not love.