Memories are certainly some kind of reflection crossing through minds at moments you least expected it to. Most people says, it's ok to let go as memories remains. I don't think so. Memories are not movies. They don't play back just by a touch of button. Memories will only be lively when it's felt once again. Touching moments will only happen when it's done once again.
I had awesome 3rd June - 12th June like no other June I had. Maybe a little too exaggerating cos I don't remember hell of all the past June's I had in all 28 years. Let's say it was the most fabulous month I had for the first half of my year 2011. Why so good? Cos I had good memories. Felt once again, all done with once again.
I have been waiting for 3rd June to come when it was just April. I was counting days, crossing calendars and making plans ahead. When the day finally comes, the moment I was making loud stomping sounds out of my 人字 slippers crossing the street to the arrival hall...it was pure happiness. Along the way, as the days goes, we talked about eveything..the food we loved, the places we go...the things we encountered...our journeys at Manila and KL en-route...it was total blessings.
Those were the times when I feel total sync with feelings down memory lane. We talked like we knew each other for centuries...like we are already friends during past life. It was magical, you know. When we talked about that old film we used to watch together...I could feel the coldness in the cinema, I could taste that caramel popcorn, I could feel the memories again. When we were at Genting, I could remember that conversation we had while cold breezy wind blows. It was more touching when memories flooded at times in Melaka. Every hawker stalls I passed, and some simple gesture we made, it felt like we are doing it again. It wasn't deja vu, because it was all so real. Memories, replay.
If I ever cry again writing this. If I ever feel emotional for all these. I don't understand why we must be apart again tonight. It's like a wall closing down on, curtains our memories again. It's like having to re-sit for an examination again, when all I had done was bowing to the force called fate.
Just don't be greedy, yen. Imagine if we have never parted, all these enlightenment would not materialise. You wouldn't know it meant so much. You wouldn't feel the magic of it. And you wouldn't believe that it is worth all the wait. You wouldn't know that this is the decision right to make.
Be natural. Be strong. Be realistic. Be-lieve.
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I truly feel for you. At that very moment reading what you have wrote, I truly understand how you could have felt. I don't know how long it takes, but hopefully the day will come for the both of you. Ya, I truly agreed with memories only comes alive when it is felt once again.
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