Halloween 2010

I have never really attended any Halloween Party in my life, until yesterday. Yes, I never did. I think Halloween is not a very IN thing way back in Malaysia. Although we do have a fair amount of Christians (a good mix of chinese and indians), but I don't see people, or practically zombies roaming Jalan Tun Razak on Halloween's Day!

Here does. I saw penguins, batman, pumpkins (popular one!) and a lizard kid walking along Valero St yesterday. As for the grown ups, I saw skeleton man, accidental deaths, witches, vietnamese souls, vampire (boring!) and mummies -- partying all night long.

And me..? Ha Ha .. I was supposed to be a dead waitress, but my make-up swayed me to another theme. I looked more like a possessed waitress. Imagine I was working late at one particular night, patrons were undoubtedly demanding and I was working my life off. And suddenly, a drunkard came over and forced his stinky breath lips on me...and wooosssshhhh! The devil came to me, gave me unlimited strength...and I strangled the big-O disgusting man to his last breath. And after which, I attended Stellent's Halloween Party. The End.



urrgghh...LAME!

It was not a very very enjoyable party, because I was unwillingly chosen to be the Event MC that night. I was crapping my voice away, and all I've got is a bunch of not so sporting audiences. Well, not all of them, but most of them were so-not-cool. In fact, not everybody came dressed up! Some of them were too shy, a small quarter just wanted to look pretty, and the rest just joined for free food and drinks. Duhhz..should have spiked their drinks with some sorts of poison. If they don't participate to the fun, no healing potion for them!

my-oh-my, no matter what it was -- Yenny's first Halloween Party! Guess I won't have the opportunity to participate in this kinda event anymore. OR else, I can just bring my experience and spirits back to KL, and hope my bunch of buddies there will do something for Halloween 2011!

once bitten....run!

hey you better put more clothes on. You've got a bareback, bra strap is seen and I can even see through that lining you have in there!

Wow, lining! Okay, I wasn't exaggerating at all. Now don't you ask me why I was so "amazed" by that remarks you made that day. You think it was normal, I think it was hilarious! It was breath-taking! It was disgusting.

1. Her sexiness may and may not have anything to do with you. You may choose to visualize, but making verbal connection is putting yourself in a situation which suggests the latter. You do have almost anything to do with her.

2. Making a lame remark, and then transferring the anger (for making a lame remark) on me is never gonna cover you up. In fact, it made the situation go filthy. Very very pathetic too.

3. There's no point of thinking if giving any excuses can make the whole damn thing turn around. What have been said, have been said. Be a gentleman and admit that it slipped your tongue.

Yeah, I am feeling absolutely NOT OK because it feels like an almost-dejavu. I don't want to be placed in a situation I was at before. Not any single chance. It was not easy, and if you cannot be a hero, don't expect me to become one too.

Yeah, a past is a past. I forgive but I couldn't forget. And I don't think any normal human will be able to forget THAT incident. It's just like the art of tattoo. Once you got it in, it's forever there. Laser remove it, but scars remains.

Yeah, I think I have been bitten once , and supposedly I'll be twice shy. But anyone knows me will predict correctly -- I'll run! Being shy is asking too much from me.

So, I have blurted it all out. Here. urrghhhh...should do it at Facebook or somewhere damn visible, but hell...statement too long. Since I won't have the courage to tell you straight to the face, I hope this helps. My therapeutic e-confession.

To, Mr. Muuk.

the power of faith~

At times of adversity, at that thinnest moment of survival, at that cross road of mere success or failure. No one ever tell you that bad moments will last. People you see everyday cannot promise a bed full with roses at every single tick of the clock too. Since in real practicality no one can tell you anything that's virtually confirmed, why care to find external assistance?

The real jig lies in yourself. Faith. The power of believing.

I have at any slightest opportunity, make myself covered with a full blanket of optimism. I do buy the thoughts that good aura makes an ugly encounter seems alright. If I were slapped by something so cruel to hear, I'd try to convince myself "maybe it's not so disgusting if I see it with my own eyes; rather than hearing it". If the visual ability is not cooperating with my cognitive gifts, I rest my case.

Well, I hate to hate when I know it is hatred that's hating me. And I believe the ultimatum of beliefs lies in the believer. If human are build to hate, then let's all rejoice to God's creation of great positive-driven mindset which works like the antibiotics.

Once in awhile, it is time to sit down, pop a pill or two...and tell yourself -- The medicine will work well...because very soon, all the hatred that's agonizing my body & soul will disappear with the power of faith~

But humans! Don't abuse the power of faith. Don't be a betrayer to the light of faith. Don't hurt the people who once believe in you, because once the faith is gone, there is nothing left. You don't always get a chance to resurrect faith.

typhoon ... not again!

Typhoon Juan a.k.a. Megi.

The weather have not been kind to me since weekend, and so it's called. I am totally dragged to a gloomy mood too. It's been raining the whole day, and I braved the storms and rain just for a set of McNuggets, fries and coke. I wasn't hungry. Just craved for food.

Expatriates here seems okay with the typhoon thingy, but not me. I am always thinking for the worst that could happen when the wind and gust gets too strong any mankind can comprehend. Of course, natural disasters and calamities happens everywhere. But so not right when it happens to me when I am all alone. Without my family with me, to be precise. If we are stuck together, at least we still have each other and prayers to keep ourselves warm. Not here. Not now. Not right.

I always labeled myself as a rainy person. I love the rain since I was a kid. I could listen to the sound of raindrops falling on whatever, and make a melody out of it. My imagination gone wildest during rainy days, and I am most relaxed then. As I age, I've learned that every beautiful moments don't happen individually. Maybe I loved the rain, or enjoyed the raindrop musical, because I have the right timing, people and place. All elements comes together and forms the magical orchestra. Like now, it's raining like mad cats and wild dogs, but those soothing feelings are no where to be found. Not here. Not now. Not anymore.

Anyway, I just hope that Juan and/or Megi will go away very soon. No more typhoons after this. And it will be the best if I can go to Batangas this weekend.

some other things.....

All my senses are finally coming to a consensus on Friday night. I gathered enough courage to say things I was afraid to say. I have made decision of matters I was chickening from much earlier.

It feels light. And I've got love too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is Halloween coming end of October, and I happily, if not gladly taken the honor to become Emcee of Event that night. I have no idea what Halloween is all about, except some silly make-ups by some hippies, and many darn spooky pumpkins hanging at corners. Now I know that those make up are meant to ward off bad spirits, and that orange-y object has a name, Jack-O-Lantern.

The Pinoys celebrates Halloween like how I celebrate 14th Day 7th Month's of Chinese Lunar Calendar (does celebrate sounds too jovial?).....Thinking that I should get customary with the Pinoys, which I think I haven't been too sporting since I came here. Why waste a night full of fun & craps away just like the years before? I AM IN!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I might go to Batangas Beach with Bob and a big bunch of his departmental colleagues next weekend. Of course I am looking forward to it. Heard that's a nice white sandy beach out there. But not necessarily sunny. Weather have been quite weird lately. We just received alerts of Typhoon Megi passing by Metro Manila within 2-3 days time. We are advised to be prepared (if not for the worst) that there may be heavy rain with thunderstorms. It just happened this morning. Sudden shower, then thunderstorms lasted for an hour.

Hmmm...wonder if weather can be kind to me next week, if I can make a day-off to the beach.

I've been thinking...

I wonder how's the weather at Home now. I wonder if Dad and Mom are sleeping like the same position I saw them sleeping in that 2 weeks. I wonder, if I should wonder, How much are they thinking about me.

I had very short conversation with Dad via msn like last week. I told Dad that I was thinking about him and Mom that very afternoon, and he came online just to chat a few lines of wisdom words with me.

Like last Monday, I went out for a late (very late) dinner with colleagues at Brogus. Right after that outing, I went home with a very heavy heart. I knew I was afraid of something, which I have no idea what exactly it was. My heart was just pounding for the whole night, and I had to shrug it off in order to sleep.

And on Friday night, I've got a couple of missed call from Dad's handphone while I was away for a meeting. I called back, Dad asked if I've called Mom many times, because Mom's handphone got 10 over missed calls from an international number. They thought of me naturally, worried sick. Of course I hadn't, but I tried to build another conversation with them, but the line got bad. It was like less than taking-5.

And again, I've been thinking about them there after. I saw that Frances Yip's having a Charity Concert at KL soon. I thought if I should get the tickets for them for Dad's coming birthday. But I just didn't have the courage to do so. As I was munching on my Burger King today, it struck me to ring them up for casual talks, but I didn't have the enthusiasm to get my damn phone out.

I've been thinking...if I should call, I should call when I'm ready. And by getting ready means getting all my senses ready, and not just call for the sake of calling.

Maybe I've been tired at work lately. Therefore, I've been thinking, I don't want to do something for the sake of doing it. I'm already enough fake at work. Not with my parents.

And so, I've been thinking..

I'll be okay

Taking time away from work and be alone for a little while. So sound like I'm recharging myself with more positive aura. Before heading back to the battlefield again.

I haven't been getting my share of a good fortune cookie since I came here to restart a new career at Makati. Obstacles, a fair bit of bad encounters and whole damn lots of dissatisfaction sound more like it.

It was life and death at front-line Caspo Inc. It was a jungle out there, with so many predators eyeballing to terminate your existence -- just in case you are better than them. Not a single touch of humanity felt. My presence was a challenge. The iron lady side of me made it through the toughest days and hell sent a savior; brought me to Stellent Services Corp.

Many people were looking way on top to this position, making assumptions that life can be much better, fresher air, wider views and Yenny must be enjoying every piece of it. But as I said, hell sent the savior. Looking at the good side, still a savior. But the truth of it, it was from hell.

I am so energy drained today. I do not have the slightest energy to fight the war. Or so it seems, I am totally blasted with another deja vu, like I had it at 10th Floor. Maybe I won't find anymore predators here, but it is full of drama queens roaming like zombies. I see things, I hear things and I dreaded every scent of it.

I have made so many steps backwards to accommodate myself into the environment. I have taken all precautions and boosting my immune system for it. But I lost my chi balance by the end of the day. Like today.

Of course all these are not going to kill me or something. I believe, and realize that there's no place better than Home; not even workplace. That's why I must be way stronger and enthusiastically happier in order to achieve some tangibles I may not get way back Home. There will be a time when I step my foot back to my origin, and head start with a slower pace again. There will be a destination called Home that I can work my head off and yet still able to be with the person I loved dearly. And so I can take off all the weariness and make a slow dance through the night.

This will not make me fall, but I will remember how it feels like a tour in hell. It won't be so scary anymore when I look back to all these crap I had. I gained life experience. Bad ones.....but

I'll be okay....when it's time to call quit.

my first Tiramisu -- with Enrico Loh

I don't know why many people perceive me as a dumb chef. They think I can't cook rice out of an electronic cooker, and many doubt if I can fry a telur mata kerbau. Gosh, they don't know me yet.

I am learning, and progressing into a better kitchen person, since I came to Makati. Who doesn't agree that every survival skill includes making foods edible? Let's see. I have made mongo, chili okra, sweet & sour pancit canton and herbs & spice chicken ... these are the confirmed edible ones. Others, I am still projecting myself to it.

My third achievement back Home -- was learning some good hands at Tiramisu. I think I met Enrico a.k.a Rojak at UCSI, and no better memories about cookery reminds me of him. This Food Science guy, who gets kinda lots of attention from gals because he cooks. LOLX....and to my surprise, he taught me Tiramisu.





I told him I don't fancy Tiramisu, maybe it's too sweet for me. I am a bittersweet chocolate person, because I think it feels relaxing to mix two different flavors, and melts it in my mouth.

But learning Tiramisu from Rojak was great. I think he loves food, every particular flavors transformed within. Of course, I hope he loves food as how he loves life...not every human can make something out of real passion.

And to the girl fated to be Rojak's girlfriend/wife...you are one lucky girl. Because he is gonna make food out of love!

Sherine darl'

My second proudest achievement (well, I have to call it achievement when time is really running out) in my 2-weeks journey at home is ....tang-tang-tang-tang.....having most of my extra time with Sherine Chin Oi Lian (dunno why like to call her full name).

Yea, searched through my camera; no pictures taken with her during those outing. No problem, can't possibly forget her curl lashes and pinkish apple cheeks. Muacks.

It sounded as if some regular talks. But hell no. You won't see or hear anything similar happening to me without her presence. I don't talk to anyone else the same way I talked to her. It's not just plain chemical between us. It's working like magic. Some kinda strong powerful potion that a white witch have spelled on us, and created bonds that real sister might not even have...it's like love without sex! (yes...stop laughing.. =.= )

I don't know how the topic flowed, but I was finding a confidante in her by digging some of my old darkest secrets -- and revealed to her naturally. Not that I have planned to hide it from her before, but maybe some stuffs which I thought I have swept under the carpet.

I told her how much I hate his family. This is certainly my red button, because I can't believe it myself. Just like the vulnerable side of me whom afraid of crying in public...I thought I have engraved the thoughts of hatred somewhere in a black hole.

I told Darl' how much I hated his family, and why they have made me so so so mad at them. As more I speak, I feel much lighter. I feel like slightly brand new, because Darl told me not to feel bad of hating them. Less sense of guiltiness drowned me when Darl told me that it is very natural for me to hate them, and if Darl would have encountered the same thing, wishing them all dead is not entirely wrong too.

I am not saying that Darl is supporting my voodoo thoughts. I am declaring that Darl would always have this charisma and charm to lead me into becoming a person that I should really am. After so long surviving on a foreigner's land, I feel that I can be true to someone I call my --- best best closest darling sister.

Yea, it felt great after that simple yet close to heart conversation with her. I don't know what else can I say -- except telling her YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!!!!!!!!!

Don't you dare leaving this relationship as long as I'm still alive.

Love you and I am blessed to have known you.