I'll be okay

Taking time away from work and be alone for a little while. So sound like I'm recharging myself with more positive aura. Before heading back to the battlefield again.

I haven't been getting my share of a good fortune cookie since I came here to restart a new career at Makati. Obstacles, a fair bit of bad encounters and whole damn lots of dissatisfaction sound more like it.

It was life and death at front-line Caspo Inc. It was a jungle out there, with so many predators eyeballing to terminate your existence -- just in case you are better than them. Not a single touch of humanity felt. My presence was a challenge. The iron lady side of me made it through the toughest days and hell sent a savior; brought me to Stellent Services Corp.

Many people were looking way on top to this position, making assumptions that life can be much better, fresher air, wider views and Yenny must be enjoying every piece of it. But as I said, hell sent the savior. Looking at the good side, still a savior. But the truth of it, it was from hell.

I am so energy drained today. I do not have the slightest energy to fight the war. Or so it seems, I am totally blasted with another deja vu, like I had it at 10th Floor. Maybe I won't find anymore predators here, but it is full of drama queens roaming like zombies. I see things, I hear things and I dreaded every scent of it.

I have made so many steps backwards to accommodate myself into the environment. I have taken all precautions and boosting my immune system for it. But I lost my chi balance by the end of the day. Like today.

Of course all these are not going to kill me or something. I believe, and realize that there's no place better than Home; not even workplace. That's why I must be way stronger and enthusiastically happier in order to achieve some tangibles I may not get way back Home. There will be a time when I step my foot back to my origin, and head start with a slower pace again. There will be a destination called Home that I can work my head off and yet still able to be with the person I loved dearly. And so I can take off all the weariness and make a slow dance through the night.

This will not make me fall, but I will remember how it feels like a tour in hell. It won't be so scary anymore when I look back to all these crap I had. I gained life experience. Bad ones.....but

I'll be okay....when it's time to call quit.

my first Tiramisu -- with Enrico Loh

I don't know why many people perceive me as a dumb chef. They think I can't cook rice out of an electronic cooker, and many doubt if I can fry a telur mata kerbau. Gosh, they don't know me yet.

I am learning, and progressing into a better kitchen person, since I came to Makati. Who doesn't agree that every survival skill includes making foods edible? Let's see. I have made mongo, chili okra, sweet & sour pancit canton and herbs & spice chicken ... these are the confirmed edible ones. Others, I am still projecting myself to it.

My third achievement back Home -- was learning some good hands at Tiramisu. I think I met Enrico a.k.a Rojak at UCSI, and no better memories about cookery reminds me of him. This Food Science guy, who gets kinda lots of attention from gals because he cooks. LOLX....and to my surprise, he taught me Tiramisu.





I told him I don't fancy Tiramisu, maybe it's too sweet for me. I am a bittersweet chocolate person, because I think it feels relaxing to mix two different flavors, and melts it in my mouth.

But learning Tiramisu from Rojak was great. I think he loves food, every particular flavors transformed within. Of course, I hope he loves food as how he loves life...not every human can make something out of real passion.

And to the girl fated to be Rojak's girlfriend/wife...you are one lucky girl. Because he is gonna make food out of love!

Sherine darl'

My second proudest achievement (well, I have to call it achievement when time is really running out) in my 2-weeks journey at home is ....tang-tang-tang-tang.....having most of my extra time with Sherine Chin Oi Lian (dunno why like to call her full name).

Yea, searched through my camera; no pictures taken with her during those outing. No problem, can't possibly forget her curl lashes and pinkish apple cheeks. Muacks.

It sounded as if some regular talks. But hell no. You won't see or hear anything similar happening to me without her presence. I don't talk to anyone else the same way I talked to her. It's not just plain chemical between us. It's working like magic. Some kinda strong powerful potion that a white witch have spelled on us, and created bonds that real sister might not even have...it's like love without sex! (yes...stop laughing.. =.= )

I don't know how the topic flowed, but I was finding a confidante in her by digging some of my old darkest secrets -- and revealed to her naturally. Not that I have planned to hide it from her before, but maybe some stuffs which I thought I have swept under the carpet.

I told her how much I hate his family. This is certainly my red button, because I can't believe it myself. Just like the vulnerable side of me whom afraid of crying in public...I thought I have engraved the thoughts of hatred somewhere in a black hole.

I told Darl' how much I hated his family, and why they have made me so so so mad at them. As more I speak, I feel much lighter. I feel like slightly brand new, because Darl told me not to feel bad of hating them. Less sense of guiltiness drowned me when Darl told me that it is very natural for me to hate them, and if Darl would have encountered the same thing, wishing them all dead is not entirely wrong too.

I am not saying that Darl is supporting my voodoo thoughts. I am declaring that Darl would always have this charisma and charm to lead me into becoming a person that I should really am. After so long surviving on a foreigner's land, I feel that I can be true to someone I call my --- best best closest darling sister.

Yea, it felt great after that simple yet close to heart conversation with her. I don't know what else can I say -- except telling her YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!!!!!!!!!

Don't you dare leaving this relationship as long as I'm still alive.

Love you and I am blessed to have known you.