Aries, go to the light

Little Aries,

Guardian Angel have found you. Leo is coming to you too. Don't be afraid, you will go to Doggie Land, and be a good boy there. You are loved, and will be loved there.

There is no pain, no worries and all doggies are safe there. Wait for us, mommy and daddy will come to see you again, when the right time arrives. And after that, we will all play together in Doggie Land.

and Aries, learn the Dharma while you are waiting for us. Buddha loves you as much as daddy do, and mommy never lies.

Leo,
You be a good big brother and take care of Aries. Teach him tricks that you know. Introduce him to other lovely pets there. I know you will be good kor kor to Aries.

Guardian Angel,
Thankfulness and thankfulness again. We both leave Leo and Aries to you. Until one fine day we will come back to you.

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu.

Baby,
I love you. We can do this together. Together, in this very life, we learn and be better. Love you.

I can't

There are four puppies up for adoption. They are equally cute, dopey eyes and mischievous. They have every rights to be cared for, loved and cuddled for. They are innocent.

But I can't. Their every movement reminds me of leo. Every little steps those little paws touched the ground, those eyes. I remembered leo. And I just can't stop thinking. And ask why. Why leo. Why I didn't do enough to not let it happened. Why I can't forget that look. That last look leo gave us at the vet's door. That forever goodbye and never come back look. And yes I could still hear you loud and clear leo. That scream of terror. I just watched. I just stood there and I couldn't do anything else. Whatever you have been through. All those we have been through together. Is just like forever. Forever in me.

I am just not ready. Sorry pups. Sorry leo.

doggie got mail !

Hey Leo,

How's doggie land, so far? If I need to think of you, I'd close my eyes and imagine... Green soft grass, meadow all over the mountains. Cool breeze eloping rainbows and marshmallow clouds. All doggies will eventually meet their human friends there...one fine beautiful day...

That beautiful day, will surely come.

Baby has arrived last month, and now she is 1 month 4 days old. Ho Vin Yann...she looked almost alike Gary, except for her eyes, like Carol. Beautiful baby, having all fair values and resemblance from both daddy and mommy. I think she will surely love you, Leo. When she is older, I will tell her all about you. How you brought joy and laughter to all of us before Vinyann join in the family. Vinyann must know, a pet so dear to us, and how much this pet means to us. And Vinyann must learn gratitude, thankfulness and contentment, all sorts of lovely memories Leo had brought to us. You were part of family, and always will. Vinyann loves you too, Leo. Vinyann already love you when she was in her mother's womb.

Me? You know how I have been. You could always hear me from above, didn't you. I chose a new path of life, but I wasn't brave like how I used to. Until today, I am still having countless fear inside. Afraid that I will fail all those promises I've made, afraid of the uncertainties, afraid of my own cowardliness within...but honestly, I am already lethargic of so many agenda. I don't have extra time to be afraid. Just march ahead, and come what may. Life is vulnerable. By the end of that single breath, all will be gone and my journey continues at doggie land with you. Pinky swear, we will live a good life until we meet again.