typhoon ... not again!

Typhoon Juan a.k.a. Megi.

The weather have not been kind to me since weekend, and so it's called. I am totally dragged to a gloomy mood too. It's been raining the whole day, and I braved the storms and rain just for a set of McNuggets, fries and coke. I wasn't hungry. Just craved for food.

Expatriates here seems okay with the typhoon thingy, but not me. I am always thinking for the worst that could happen when the wind and gust gets too strong any mankind can comprehend. Of course, natural disasters and calamities happens everywhere. But so not right when it happens to me when I am all alone. Without my family with me, to be precise. If we are stuck together, at least we still have each other and prayers to keep ourselves warm. Not here. Not now. Not right.

I always labeled myself as a rainy person. I love the rain since I was a kid. I could listen to the sound of raindrops falling on whatever, and make a melody out of it. My imagination gone wildest during rainy days, and I am most relaxed then. As I age, I've learned that every beautiful moments don't happen individually. Maybe I loved the rain, or enjoyed the raindrop musical, because I have the right timing, people and place. All elements comes together and forms the magical orchestra. Like now, it's raining like mad cats and wild dogs, but those soothing feelings are no where to be found. Not here. Not now. Not anymore.

Anyway, I just hope that Juan and/or Megi will go away very soon. No more typhoons after this. And it will be the best if I can go to Batangas this weekend.

some other things.....

All my senses are finally coming to a consensus on Friday night. I gathered enough courage to say things I was afraid to say. I have made decision of matters I was chickening from much earlier.

It feels light. And I've got love too.

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It is Halloween coming end of October, and I happily, if not gladly taken the honor to become Emcee of Event that night. I have no idea what Halloween is all about, except some silly make-ups by some hippies, and many darn spooky pumpkins hanging at corners. Now I know that those make up are meant to ward off bad spirits, and that orange-y object has a name, Jack-O-Lantern.

The Pinoys celebrates Halloween like how I celebrate 14th Day 7th Month's of Chinese Lunar Calendar (does celebrate sounds too jovial?).....Thinking that I should get customary with the Pinoys, which I think I haven't been too sporting since I came here. Why waste a night full of fun & craps away just like the years before? I AM IN!!

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I might go to Batangas Beach with Bob and a big bunch of his departmental colleagues next weekend. Of course I am looking forward to it. Heard that's a nice white sandy beach out there. But not necessarily sunny. Weather have been quite weird lately. We just received alerts of Typhoon Megi passing by Metro Manila within 2-3 days time. We are advised to be prepared (if not for the worst) that there may be heavy rain with thunderstorms. It just happened this morning. Sudden shower, then thunderstorms lasted for an hour.

Hmmm...wonder if weather can be kind to me next week, if I can make a day-off to the beach.

I've been thinking...

I wonder how's the weather at Home now. I wonder if Dad and Mom are sleeping like the same position I saw them sleeping in that 2 weeks. I wonder, if I should wonder, How much are they thinking about me.

I had very short conversation with Dad via msn like last week. I told Dad that I was thinking about him and Mom that very afternoon, and he came online just to chat a few lines of wisdom words with me.

Like last Monday, I went out for a late (very late) dinner with colleagues at Brogus. Right after that outing, I went home with a very heavy heart. I knew I was afraid of something, which I have no idea what exactly it was. My heart was just pounding for the whole night, and I had to shrug it off in order to sleep.

And on Friday night, I've got a couple of missed call from Dad's handphone while I was away for a meeting. I called back, Dad asked if I've called Mom many times, because Mom's handphone got 10 over missed calls from an international number. They thought of me naturally, worried sick. Of course I hadn't, but I tried to build another conversation with them, but the line got bad. It was like less than taking-5.

And again, I've been thinking about them there after. I saw that Frances Yip's having a Charity Concert at KL soon. I thought if I should get the tickets for them for Dad's coming birthday. But I just didn't have the courage to do so. As I was munching on my Burger King today, it struck me to ring them up for casual talks, but I didn't have the enthusiasm to get my damn phone out.

I've been thinking...if I should call, I should call when I'm ready. And by getting ready means getting all my senses ready, and not just call for the sake of calling.

Maybe I've been tired at work lately. Therefore, I've been thinking, I don't want to do something for the sake of doing it. I'm already enough fake at work. Not with my parents.

And so, I've been thinking..